OT: “Bob Rubin Just Wants to be Cuddled”

[Anonymous]

There is a lot of talk here about how some married man might be tempted on a daily basis. That seems very unlikely to me. Very few men get that kind of attention, married or not.

If you are a good-looking woman, though, you could probably get laid multiple times per day if you cared for it. Even if you are married.

And many women get laid plenty with the most attractive men when they are young and can’t be bothered to be married or faithful to the kind of man that will eventually become their husband. They are just angling to get their claws in the alpha man.

That is the real travesty here: Faithfulness suddenly becomes a priority when they are no longer young and pretty.

If they could be bothered while young and pretty, that is exactly the time when many men would be more than happy to be faithful to them, if given half a chance.

If you lived by the sword, expect to die by the sword.

[CA renter]

[quote=davelj]
Perhaps. I could give you the benefit of the doubt here in a lot of cases.

Let me ask you this, because I’m curious – I’m assuming you’re married, right? I can’t recall from the threads, but I think so – assuming your husband occasionally wants to sleep with some other woman, but doesn’t want to leave the marriage, why not just let him? If you care about his happiness – which I assume you do – why not let him screw around occasionally if he’s discreet about it? Likewise, why not ask him to let you do the same (again, using discretion)?

I’ve never understood what the big deal was about sex. As long as no one brings a disease back to the house or ends up with another child… it’s just another physical activity at the end of the day. Not unlike playing tennis. I’m not saying folks should join “the Lifestyle” (as folks I know who are in call it), but discreet, safe sex outside a marriage… why is it such a big deal? Well, but for the fact that our culture has deemed it so…[/quote]

Dave,

In a world where at least 25% of young people have an STD, you’re taking some awfully big chances that you’re not going to bring something home. Considering the fact that people who cheat with married people are much more likely to have STDs than those who refrain from “free love,” and your odds of staying disease-free are pretty small. Then, there’s always the unwanted pregnancies… You think Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, etc., etc. weren’t smart enough or rich enough to avoid getting someone pregnant? If they can make that “mistake,” I assure you, Joe Sixpack is at least as likely to get into trouble, eventually.

There’s a difference between “the fantasy” vs. the desire to actually sleep with other women/men. The fantasy is always positive and never has negative outcomes (broken families, diseases, unexpected pregnancies, mental instability, etc.). Reality rarely matches that fantasy.

When faithful, married men look at other women and think, “I’d like to tap that,” he’s thinking about the fantasy. The faithful ones don’t act upon those thoughts because they understand the reality.

It’s very much like fantasizing about threesomes or other lifestyles (bi, swinging, etc.). Lots of people might like to fantasize, but very few would actually like the reality of that lifestyle.

In the vast majority of situations I’m aware of, a cheating spouse is rarely happy with the ultimate outcome(s) of their infidelity. Smart people understand this, and refrain from cheating so they don’t have to deal with all the drama that usually results.

[CA renter]

[quote=davelj]
Perhaps. I could give you the benefit of the doubt here in a lot of cases.

Let me ask you this, because I’m curious – I’m assuming you’re married, right? I can’t recall from the threads, but I think so – assuming your husband occasionally wants to sleep with some other woman, but doesn’t want to leave the marriage, why not just let him? If you care about his happiness – which I assume you do – why not let him screw around occasionally if he’s discreet about it? Likewise, why not ask him to let you do the same (again, using discretion)?

I’ve never understood what the big deal was about sex. As long as no one brings a disease back to the house or ends up with another child… it’s just another physical activity at the end of the day. Not unlike playing tennis. I’m not saying folks should join “the Lifestyle” (as folks I know who are in call it), but discreet, safe sex outside a marriage… why is it such a big deal? Well, but for the fact that our culture has deemed it so…[/quote]

Dave,

In a world where at least 25% of young people have an STD, you’re taking some awfully big chances that you’re not going to bring something home. Considering the fact that people who cheat with married people are much more likely to have STDs than those who refrain from “free love,” and your odds of staying disease-free are pretty small. Then, there’s always the unwanted pregnancies… You think Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, etc., etc. weren’t smart enough or rich enough to avoid getting someone pregnant? If they can make that “mistake,” I assure you, Joe Sixpack is at least as likely to get into trouble, eventually.

There’s a difference between “the fantasy” vs. the desire to actually sleep with other women/men. The fantasy is always positive and never has negative outcomes (broken families, diseases, unexpected pregnancies, mental instability, etc.). Reality rarely matches that fantasy.

When faithful, married men look at other women and think, “I’d like to tap that,” he’s thinking about the fantasy. The faithful ones don’t act upon those thoughts because they understand the reality.

It’s very much like fantasizing about threesomes or other lifestyles (bi, swinging, etc.). Lots of people might like to fantasize, but very few would actually like the reality of that lifestyle.

In the vast majority of situations I’m aware of, a cheating spouse is rarely happy with the ultimate outcome(s) of their infidelity. Smart people understand this, and refrain from cheating so they don’t have to deal with all the drama that usually results.

[CA renter]

[quote=davelj]
Perhaps. I could give you the benefit of the doubt here in a lot of cases.

Let me ask you this, because I’m curious – I’m assuming you’re married, right? I can’t recall from the threads, but I think so – assuming your husband occasionally wants to sleep with some other woman, but doesn’t want to leave the marriage, why not just let him? If you care about his happiness – which I assume you do – why not let him screw around occasionally if he’s discreet about it? Likewise, why not ask him to let you do the same (again, using discretion)?

I’ve never understood what the big deal was about sex. As long as no one brings a disease back to the house or ends up with another child… it’s just another physical activity at the end of the day. Not unlike playing tennis. I’m not saying folks should join “the Lifestyle” (as folks I know who are in call it), but discreet, safe sex outside a marriage… why is it such a big deal? Well, but for the fact that our culture has deemed it so…[/quote]

Dave,

In a world where at least 25% of young people have an STD, you’re taking some awfully big chances that you’re not going to bring something home. Considering the fact that people who cheat with married people are much more likely to have STDs than those who refrain from “free love,” and your odds of staying disease-free are pretty small. Then, there’s always the unwanted pregnancies… You think Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, etc., etc. weren’t smart enough or rich enough to avoid getting someone pregnant? If they can make that “mistake,” I assure you, Joe Sixpack is at least as likely to get into trouble, eventually.

There’s a difference between “the fantasy” vs. the desire to actually sleep with other women/men. The fantasy is always positive and never has negative outcomes (broken families, diseases, unexpected pregnancies, mental instability, etc.). Reality rarely matches that fantasy.

When faithful, married men look at other women and think, “I’d like to tap that,” he’s thinking about the fantasy. The faithful ones don’t act upon those thoughts because they understand the reality.

It’s very much like fantasizing about threesomes or other lifestyles (bi, swinging, etc.). Lots of people might like to fantasize, but very few would actually like the reality of that lifestyle.

In the vast majority of situations I’m aware of, a cheating spouse is rarely happy with the ultimate outcome(s) of their infidelity. Smart people understand this, and refrain from cheating so they don’t have to deal with all the drama that usually results.

[CA renter]

[quote=davelj]
Perhaps. I could give you the benefit of the doubt here in a lot of cases.

Let me ask you this, because I’m curious – I’m assuming you’re married, right? I can’t recall from the threads, but I think so – assuming your husband occasionally wants to sleep with some other woman, but doesn’t want to leave the marriage, why not just let him? If you care about his happiness – which I assume you do – why not let him screw around occasionally if he’s discreet about it? Likewise, why not ask him to let you do the same (again, using discretion)?

I’ve never understood what the big deal was about sex. As long as no one brings a disease back to the house or ends up with another child… it’s just another physical activity at the end of the day. Not unlike playing tennis. I’m not saying folks should join “the Lifestyle” (as folks I know who are in call it), but discreet, safe sex outside a marriage… why is it such a big deal? Well, but for the fact that our culture has deemed it so…[/quote]

Dave,

In a world where at least 25% of young people have an STD, you’re taking some awfully big chances that you’re not going to bring something home. Considering the fact that people who cheat with married people are much more likely to have STDs than those who refrain from “free love,” and your odds of staying disease-free are pretty small. Then, there’s always the unwanted pregnancies… You think Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, etc., etc. weren’t smart enough or rich enough to avoid getting someone pregnant? If they can make that “mistake,” I assure you, Joe Sixpack is at least as likely to get into trouble, eventually.

There’s a difference between “the fantasy” vs. the desire to actually sleep with other women/men. The fantasy is always positive and never has negative outcomes (broken families, diseases, unexpected pregnancies, mental instability, etc.). Reality rarely matches that fantasy.

When faithful, married men look at other women and think, “I’d like to tap that,” he’s thinking about the fantasy. The faithful ones don’t act upon those thoughts because they understand the reality.

It’s very much like fantasizing about threesomes or other lifestyles (bi, swinging, etc.). Lots of people might like to fantasize, but very few would actually like the reality of that lifestyle.

In the vast majority of situations I’m aware of, a cheating spouse is rarely happy with the ultimate outcome(s) of their infidelity. Smart people understand this, and refrain from cheating so they don’t have to deal with all the drama that usually results.

[CA renter]

[quote=davelj]
Perhaps. I could give you the benefit of the doubt here in a lot of cases.

Let me ask you this, because I’m curious – I’m assuming you’re married, right? I can’t recall from the threads, but I think so – assuming your husband occasionally wants to sleep with some other woman, but doesn’t want to leave the marriage, why not just let him? If you care about his happiness – which I assume you do – why not let him screw around occasionally if he’s discreet about it? Likewise, why not ask him to let you do the same (again, using discretion)?

I’ve never understood what the big deal was about sex. As long as no one brings a disease back to the house or ends up with another child… it’s just another physical activity at the end of the day. Not unlike playing tennis. I’m not saying folks should join “the Lifestyle” (as folks I know who are in call it), but discreet, safe sex outside a marriage… why is it such a big deal? Well, but for the fact that our culture has deemed it so…[/quote]

Dave,

In a world where at least 25% of young people have an STD, you’re taking some awfully big chances that you’re not going to bring something home. Considering the fact that people who cheat with married people are much more likely to have STDs than those who refrain from “free love,” and your odds of staying disease-free are pretty small. Then, there’s always the unwanted pregnancies… You think Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, etc., etc. weren’t smart enough or rich enough to avoid getting someone pregnant? If they can make that “mistake,” I assure you, Joe Sixpack is at least as likely to get into trouble, eventually.

There’s a difference between “the fantasy” vs. the desire to actually sleep with other women/men. The fantasy is always positive and never has negative outcomes (broken families, diseases, unexpected pregnancies, mental instability, etc.). Reality rarely matches that fantasy.

When faithful, married men look at other women and think, “I’d like to tap that,” he’s thinking about the fantasy. The faithful ones don’t act upon those thoughts because they understand the reality.

It’s very much like fantasizing about threesomes or other lifestyles (bi, swinging, etc.). Lots of people might like to fantasize, but very few would actually like the reality of that lifestyle.

In the vast majority of situations I’m aware of, a cheating spouse is rarely happy with the ultimate outcome(s) of their infidelity. Smart people understand this, and refrain from cheating so they don’t have to deal with all the drama that usually results.

[CA renter]

Oh, and it’s “a big deal” because most married people understand that sex is a sacred act. We understand the risks WRT disease, pregnancies, and unstable mistresses/boyfriends who become obsessive — sometimes with fatal results for the rest of the family.

You wouldn’t understand because you’ve obviously never felt the deep emotional bond with another person that would make you want to spend the rest of your life and possibly have children with that person.

For single people (especially you and Brian, apparently), perhaps it’s not a big deal if someone sleeps around on you, but don’t assume that married people should share your beliefs. Our realities are far different from yours.

BTW, do you (honestly) encourage all of your girlfriends to sleep around on you? Does it honestly not bother you?

[CA renter]

Oh, and it’s “a big deal” because most married people understand that sex is a sacred act. We understand the risks WRT disease, pregnancies, and unstable mistresses/boyfriends who become obsessive — sometimes with fatal results for the rest of the family.

You wouldn’t understand because you’ve obviously never felt the deep emotional bond with another person that would make you want to spend the rest of your life and possibly have children with that person.

For single people (especially you and Brian, apparently), perhaps it’s not a big deal if someone sleeps around on you, but don’t assume that married people should share your beliefs. Our realities are far different from yours.

BTW, do you (honestly) encourage all of your girlfriends to sleep around on you? Does it honestly not bother you?

[CA renter]

Oh, and it’s “a big deal” because most married people understand that sex is a sacred act. We understand the risks WRT disease, pregnancies, and unstable mistresses/boyfriends who become obsessive — sometimes with fatal results for the rest of the family.

You wouldn’t understand because you’ve obviously never felt the deep emotional bond with another person that would make you want to spend the rest of your life and possibly have children with that person.

For single people (especially you and Brian, apparently), perhaps it’s not a big deal if someone sleeps around on you, but don’t assume that married people should share your beliefs. Our realities are far different from yours.

BTW, do you (honestly) encourage all of your girlfriends to sleep around on you? Does it honestly not bother you?

[CA renter]

Oh, and it’s “a big deal” because most married people understand that sex is a sacred act. We understand the risks WRT disease, pregnancies, and unstable mistresses/boyfriends who become obsessive — sometimes with fatal results for the rest of the family.

You wouldn’t understand because you’ve obviously never felt the deep emotional bond with another person that would make you want to spend the rest of your life and possibly have children with that person.

For single people (especially you and Brian, apparently), perhaps it’s not a big deal if someone sleeps around on you, but don’t assume that married people should share your beliefs. Our realities are far different from yours.

BTW, do you (honestly) encourage all of your girlfriends to sleep around on you? Does it honestly not bother you?

[CA renter]

Oh, and it’s “a big deal” because most married people understand that sex is a sacred act. We understand the risks WRT disease, pregnancies, and unstable mistresses/boyfriends who become obsessive — sometimes with fatal results for the rest of the family.

You wouldn’t understand because you’ve obviously never felt the deep emotional bond with another person that would make you want to spend the rest of your life and possibly have children with that person.

For single people (especially you and Brian, apparently), perhaps it’s not a big deal if someone sleeps around on you, but don’t assume that married people should share your beliefs. Our realities are far different from yours.

BTW, do you (honestly) encourage all of your girlfriends to sleep around on you? Does it honestly not bother you?

[briansd1]

[quote=babu]There is a lot of talk here about how some married man might be tempted on a daily basis. That seems very unlikely to me. Very few men get that kind of attention, married or not.
[/quote]

Money and or perceived power makes all the difference for men.

That’s why men need money if they want sex, especially if they are not attractive.

For example, a Gringo in Mexico would get more attention than he would back in the States because of the perceived wealth and power.

When men are young, power is sports and muscles.

When men get old, power becomes profession and money.

[quote=babu]
That is the real travesty here: Faithfulness suddenly becomes a priority when they are no longer young and pretty.

[/quote]

I don’t think that it’s faithfulness, per se; but faithfulness and children are the tools by which to hang on to wealth and security.

Faith and faithfulness are the means by which to keep people captive to a certain order.

[briansd1]

[quote=babu]There is a lot of talk here about how some married man might be tempted on a daily basis. That seems very unlikely to me. Very few men get that kind of attention, married or not.
[/quote]

Money and or perceived power makes all the difference for men.

That’s why men need money if they want sex, especially if they are not attractive.

For example, a Gringo in Mexico would get more attention than he would back in the States because of the perceived wealth and power.

When men are young, power is sports and muscles.

When men get old, power becomes profession and money.

[quote=babu]
That is the real travesty here: Faithfulness suddenly becomes a priority when they are no longer young and pretty.

[/quote]

I don’t think that it’s faithfulness, per se; but faithfulness and children are the tools by which to hang on to wealth and security.

Faith and faithfulness are the means by which to keep people captive to a certain order.

[briansd1]

[quote=babu]There is a lot of talk here about how some married man might be tempted on a daily basis. That seems very unlikely to me. Very few men get that kind of attention, married or not.
[/quote]

Money and or perceived power makes all the difference for men.

That’s why men need money if they want sex, especially if they are not attractive.

For example, a Gringo in Mexico would get more attention than he would back in the States because of the perceived wealth and power.

When men are young, power is sports and muscles.

When men get old, power becomes profession and money.

[quote=babu]
That is the real travesty here: Faithfulness suddenly becomes a priority when they are no longer young and pretty.

[/quote]

I don’t think that it’s faithfulness, per se; but faithfulness and children are the tools by which to hang on to wealth and security.

Faith and faithfulness are the means by which to keep people captive to a certain order.

[briansd1]

[quote=babu]There is a lot of talk here about how some married man might be tempted on a daily basis. That seems very unlikely to me. Very few men get that kind of attention, married or not.
[/quote]

Money and or perceived power makes all the difference for men.

That’s why men need money if they want sex, especially if they are not attractive.

For example, a Gringo in Mexico would get more attention than he would back in the States because of the perceived wealth and power.

When men are young, power is sports and muscles.

When men get old, power becomes profession and money.

[quote=babu]
That is the real travesty here: Faithfulness suddenly becomes a priority when they are no longer young and pretty.

[/quote]

I don’t think that it’s faithfulness, per se; but faithfulness and children are the tools by which to hang on to wealth and security.

Faith and faithfulness are the means by which to keep people captive to a certain order.

[Author]

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