OT: Paying Kids For Grades in HS

[Ricechex]

Scaredycat….you are a funny guy in your own way! It is life to see issues in gray, rather than in black and white, and apparently you are rather skilled at this! Me thinks you thought you would start an interesting thread, and yes, you were successful!

If everything you do for your child is based on a monetary system, then I would have to agree with some of the other posters…it creates entitlement. Should money always be the reward? What about social relationships and connectivity and being good to other humans and life forms on this planet? What about the personal gains received from just doing the right thing?

I suppose it is best to look at the whole picture. You state your family has no TV, so paying for grades seems to go against that grain. You are obviously not materialistic, and recognize the problems coming from the media. Since your kid was not raised on TV (neither was I BTW, my father had us read “The Plug In Drug”) then your values would seem inconsistent to pay your son for grades. However, as mentioned above, it is all grays, so perhaps with the other values you possess, paying for grades is actually quite harmless. I guess it all depends on ALL of the factors combined.

[scaredyclassic]

Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? Would it be betetr to ace all one’s spanish tests and not speak a word, or to learn spanish int he streets but get a C on he test. Clearly, reality ttrumps, and grades are a far second to the actual knowledge gained into the subjectmatter, but more important,t he insight gained into one’s self, one’s abilities, one’s limitations — one’s very soul… I don’t care about him fitting into some societal mold, worrying about the status of the particular colleges he might be accepted to, trying to put him in a certain box or on a certain c areer track.. WHy assume he even has an interest in pursuing such a path. Let the journey be fully his. Why not leave him open to the full expanse of humn possibility, let him figure out whether competing for grades is something he wants to do, instead of imposing my worldview on him? Perhaps he will be an independent tradesman,a pool repairman or a plumber or a roofer,, or some other potentially lucrative trade, (but perhaps without the social status I might crave), rather than pursuing some soulless career in a cubicle manipulating information for his masters.

Better to foster an independent spirit, and there is nothing that would quash any burgeoning spirit of indpendence than paying money for a specified level of performance. I might as well pay him to believe in God, or compensate him fianncially for falling in love in the manner which and witha wpartner whom I find appropriate, or give him an extra hunskie if he can demonstrate that he is truly moved by a piece of music; it is that repugnant to human decency.

You cannot control the basis of human emotion and experience, and at its base, money–paying money–is a feeble and pathetic means of trying to exert contorl over this most personal, most critical matter –the matter of the formation fo the self and its relation to society, to learning and to the search for one’s place within society. Money puts him in the position of servant, of employee, and I his master, a truly disgusting way to characterize what shoudl be a partnership toward the discovery and uncovering of the Self.

I make myself sick by even thinking about my prior plan to pay him for grades. Truly repulsive. How could I have even considered such a vile plan? How would I live with myself for distorting the purity of his social and emotional
development. What kind of monstrous, control-freak, adbusive creature am I?

Hey this sounds pretty good! I’m almost convinced! Plus I get to save a few thousand bucks. not bad…

[scaredyclassic]

Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? Would it be betetr to ace all one’s spanish tests and not speak a word, or to learn spanish int he streets but get a C on he test. Clearly, reality ttrumps, and grades are a far second to the actual knowledge gained into the subjectmatter, but more important,t he insight gained into one’s self, one’s abilities, one’s limitations — one’s very soul… I don’t care about him fitting into some societal mold, worrying about the status of the particular colleges he might be accepted to, trying to put him in a certain box or on a certain c areer track.. WHy assume he even has an interest in pursuing such a path. Let the journey be fully his. Why not leave him open to the full expanse of humn possibility, let him figure out whether competing for grades is something he wants to do, instead of imposing my worldview on him? Perhaps he will be an independent tradesman,a pool repairman or a plumber or a roofer,, or some other potentially lucrative trade, (but perhaps without the social status I might crave), rather than pursuing some soulless career in a cubicle manipulating information for his masters.

Better to foster an independent spirit, and there is nothing that would quash any burgeoning spirit of indpendence than paying money for a specified level of performance. I might as well pay him to believe in God, or compensate him fianncially for falling in love in the manner which and witha wpartner whom I find appropriate, or give him an extra hunskie if he can demonstrate that he is truly moved by a piece of music; it is that repugnant to human decency.

You cannot control the basis of human emotion and experience, and at its base, money–paying money–is a feeble and pathetic means of trying to exert contorl over this most personal, most critical matter –the matter of the formation fo the self and its relation to society, to learning and to the search for one’s place within society. Money puts him in the position of servant, of employee, and I his master, a truly disgusting way to characterize what shoudl be a partnership toward the discovery and uncovering of the Self.

I make myself sick by even thinking about my prior plan to pay him for grades. Truly repulsive. How could I have even considered such a vile plan? How would I live with myself for distorting the purity of his social and emotional
development. What kind of monstrous, control-freak, adbusive creature am I?

Hey this sounds pretty good! I’m almost convinced! Plus I get to save a few thousand bucks. not bad…

[scaredyclassic]

Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? Would it be betetr to ace all one’s spanish tests and not speak a word, or to learn spanish int he streets but get a C on he test. Clearly, reality ttrumps, and grades are a far second to the actual knowledge gained into the subjectmatter, but more important,t he insight gained into one’s self, one’s abilities, one’s limitations — one’s very soul… I don’t care about him fitting into some societal mold, worrying about the status of the particular colleges he might be accepted to, trying to put him in a certain box or on a certain c areer track.. WHy assume he even has an interest in pursuing such a path. Let the journey be fully his. Why not leave him open to the full expanse of humn possibility, let him figure out whether competing for grades is something he wants to do, instead of imposing my worldview on him? Perhaps he will be an independent tradesman,a pool repairman or a plumber or a roofer,, or some other potentially lucrative trade, (but perhaps without the social status I might crave), rather than pursuing some soulless career in a cubicle manipulating information for his masters.

Better to foster an independent spirit, and there is nothing that would quash any burgeoning spirit of indpendence than paying money for a specified level of performance. I might as well pay him to believe in God, or compensate him fianncially for falling in love in the manner which and witha wpartner whom I find appropriate, or give him an extra hunskie if he can demonstrate that he is truly moved by a piece of music; it is that repugnant to human decency.

You cannot control the basis of human emotion and experience, and at its base, money–paying money–is a feeble and pathetic means of trying to exert contorl over this most personal, most critical matter –the matter of the formation fo the self and its relation to society, to learning and to the search for one’s place within society. Money puts him in the position of servant, of employee, and I his master, a truly disgusting way to characterize what shoudl be a partnership toward the discovery and uncovering of the Self.

I make myself sick by even thinking about my prior plan to pay him for grades. Truly repulsive. How could I have even considered such a vile plan? How would I live with myself for distorting the purity of his social and emotional
development. What kind of monstrous, control-freak, adbusive creature am I?

Hey this sounds pretty good! I’m almost convinced! Plus I get to save a few thousand bucks. not bad…

[scaredyclassic]

Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? Would it be betetr to ace all one’s spanish tests and not speak a word, or to learn spanish int he streets but get a C on he test. Clearly, reality ttrumps, and grades are a far second to the actual knowledge gained into the subjectmatter, but more important,t he insight gained into one’s self, one’s abilities, one’s limitations — one’s very soul… I don’t care about him fitting into some societal mold, worrying about the status of the particular colleges he might be accepted to, trying to put him in a certain box or on a certain c areer track.. WHy assume he even has an interest in pursuing such a path. Let the journey be fully his. Why not leave him open to the full expanse of humn possibility, let him figure out whether competing for grades is something he wants to do, instead of imposing my worldview on him? Perhaps he will be an independent tradesman,a pool repairman or a plumber or a roofer,, or some other potentially lucrative trade, (but perhaps without the social status I might crave), rather than pursuing some soulless career in a cubicle manipulating information for his masters.

Better to foster an independent spirit, and there is nothing that would quash any burgeoning spirit of indpendence than paying money for a specified level of performance. I might as well pay him to believe in God, or compensate him fianncially for falling in love in the manner which and witha wpartner whom I find appropriate, or give him an extra hunskie if he can demonstrate that he is truly moved by a piece of music; it is that repugnant to human decency.

You cannot control the basis of human emotion and experience, and at its base, money–paying money–is a feeble and pathetic means of trying to exert contorl over this most personal, most critical matter –the matter of the formation fo the self and its relation to society, to learning and to the search for one’s place within society. Money puts him in the position of servant, of employee, and I his master, a truly disgusting way to characterize what shoudl be a partnership toward the discovery and uncovering of the Self.

I make myself sick by even thinking about my prior plan to pay him for grades. Truly repulsive. How could I have even considered such a vile plan? How would I live with myself for distorting the purity of his social and emotional
development. What kind of monstrous, control-freak, adbusive creature am I?

Hey this sounds pretty good! I’m almost convinced! Plus I get to save a few thousand bucks. not bad…

[scaredyclassic]

Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? Would it be betetr to ace all one’s spanish tests and not speak a word, or to learn spanish int he streets but get a C on he test. Clearly, reality ttrumps, and grades are a far second to the actual knowledge gained into the subjectmatter, but more important,t he insight gained into one’s self, one’s abilities, one’s limitations — one’s very soul… I don’t care about him fitting into some societal mold, worrying about the status of the particular colleges he might be accepted to, trying to put him in a certain box or on a certain c areer track.. WHy assume he even has an interest in pursuing such a path. Let the journey be fully his. Why not leave him open to the full expanse of humn possibility, let him figure out whether competing for grades is something he wants to do, instead of imposing my worldview on him? Perhaps he will be an independent tradesman,a pool repairman or a plumber or a roofer,, or some other potentially lucrative trade, (but perhaps without the social status I might crave), rather than pursuing some soulless career in a cubicle manipulating information for his masters.

Better to foster an independent spirit, and there is nothing that would quash any burgeoning spirit of indpendence than paying money for a specified level of performance. I might as well pay him to believe in God, or compensate him fianncially for falling in love in the manner which and witha wpartner whom I find appropriate, or give him an extra hunskie if he can demonstrate that he is truly moved by a piece of music; it is that repugnant to human decency.

You cannot control the basis of human emotion and experience, and at its base, money–paying money–is a feeble and pathetic means of trying to exert contorl over this most personal, most critical matter –the matter of the formation fo the self and its relation to society, to learning and to the search for one’s place within society. Money puts him in the position of servant, of employee, and I his master, a truly disgusting way to characterize what shoudl be a partnership toward the discovery and uncovering of the Self.

I make myself sick by even thinking about my prior plan to pay him for grades. Truly repulsive. How could I have even considered such a vile plan? How would I live with myself for distorting the purity of his social and emotional
development. What kind of monstrous, control-freak, adbusive creature am I?

Hey this sounds pretty good! I’m almost convinced! Plus I get to save a few thousand bucks. not bad…

[propertysearchaddiction]

Scardycat said…
“Shouldn’t there be a period of childhood that isn’t about cash? A time of innocent exploration free from the pressures of the marketplace, free from the call of the dollar, where they can learn what it is to be human.”

Why? They ask for toys and treats all the time. Money is part of life. I would rather teach them good principles so they have a clue when they are on their own. Today my 5 yr old wanted to spend $5.00 on a lego kit and he did using his savings. He handed over the cash and loved the independence.

I have a some cousins that are loaded and I recently asked them how they taught the principle of money to their kids because the kids are fantastic. First note that they pay for their clothes, school necessities etc. They also do a one hour Saturday chore. This is NOT tied to allowance. They are expected to help around the house.

They give each kid $10 a month allowance age 5-10 and $20 allowance a month from 10-18. They give them a check register and show them how to write in the deposit. If they want to go to the movies, buy a guitar,etc…They have to save up the money in their checking account. Birthday money from grandparents or other misc $$$ is also deposited. They help them learn how to withdraw from their account and give 10% to charity. They said they got sick of the question, “Can I have $20.00 mom to go to….?”

The child has the option to put the money in a savings account to use for their college or wedding. If they choose to transfer money into their long term savings account, the parents double their money. The kids get a statement each month showing their balance. They can’t touch this until they are 18.

This teaches kids how to make $$$ off savings, delayed gratification, and how to balance a checkbook from a young age. I think these types of lessons will take a kid much further in life than from earning $100 for an A.

I thought it was brilliant and I was surprised at how little money they gave them each month.

[propertysearchaddiction]

Scardycat said…
“Shouldn’t there be a period of childhood that isn’t about cash? A time of innocent exploration free from the pressures of the marketplace, free from the call of the dollar, where they can learn what it is to be human.”

Why? They ask for toys and treats all the time. Money is part of life. I would rather teach them good principles so they have a clue when they are on their own. Today my 5 yr old wanted to spend $5.00 on a lego kit and he did using his savings. He handed over the cash and loved the independence.

I have a some cousins that are loaded and I recently asked them how they taught the principle of money to their kids because the kids are fantastic. First note that they pay for their clothes, school necessities etc. They also do a one hour Saturday chore. This is NOT tied to allowance. They are expected to help around the house.

They give each kid $10 a month allowance age 5-10 and $20 allowance a month from 10-18. They give them a check register and show them how to write in the deposit. If they want to go to the movies, buy a guitar,etc…They have to save up the money in their checking account. Birthday money from grandparents or other misc $$$ is also deposited. They help them learn how to withdraw from their account and give 10% to charity. They said they got sick of the question, “Can I have $20.00 mom to go to….?”

The child has the option to put the money in a savings account to use for their college or wedding. If they choose to transfer money into their long term savings account, the parents double their money. The kids get a statement each month showing their balance. They can’t touch this until they are 18.

This teaches kids how to make $$$ off savings, delayed gratification, and how to balance a checkbook from a young age. I think these types of lessons will take a kid much further in life than from earning $100 for an A.

I thought it was brilliant and I was surprised at how little money they gave them each month.

[propertysearchaddiction]

Scardycat said…
“Shouldn’t there be a period of childhood that isn’t about cash? A time of innocent exploration free from the pressures of the marketplace, free from the call of the dollar, where they can learn what it is to be human.”

Why? They ask for toys and treats all the time. Money is part of life. I would rather teach them good principles so they have a clue when they are on their own. Today my 5 yr old wanted to spend $5.00 on a lego kit and he did using his savings. He handed over the cash and loved the independence.

I have a some cousins that are loaded and I recently asked them how they taught the principle of money to their kids because the kids are fantastic. First note that they pay for their clothes, school necessities etc. They also do a one hour Saturday chore. This is NOT tied to allowance. They are expected to help around the house.

They give each kid $10 a month allowance age 5-10 and $20 allowance a month from 10-18. They give them a check register and show them how to write in the deposit. If they want to go to the movies, buy a guitar,etc…They have to save up the money in their checking account. Birthday money from grandparents or other misc $$$ is also deposited. They help them learn how to withdraw from their account and give 10% to charity. They said they got sick of the question, “Can I have $20.00 mom to go to….?”

The child has the option to put the money in a savings account to use for their college or wedding. If they choose to transfer money into their long term savings account, the parents double their money. The kids get a statement each month showing their balance. They can’t touch this until they are 18.

This teaches kids how to make $$$ off savings, delayed gratification, and how to balance a checkbook from a young age. I think these types of lessons will take a kid much further in life than from earning $100 for an A.

I thought it was brilliant and I was surprised at how little money they gave them each month.

[propertysearchaddiction]

Scardycat said…
“Shouldn’t there be a period of childhood that isn’t about cash? A time of innocent exploration free from the pressures of the marketplace, free from the call of the dollar, where they can learn what it is to be human.”

Why? They ask for toys and treats all the time. Money is part of life. I would rather teach them good principles so they have a clue when they are on their own. Today my 5 yr old wanted to spend $5.00 on a lego kit and he did using his savings. He handed over the cash and loved the independence.

I have a some cousins that are loaded and I recently asked them how they taught the principle of money to their kids because the kids are fantastic. First note that they pay for their clothes, school necessities etc. They also do a one hour Saturday chore. This is NOT tied to allowance. They are expected to help around the house.

They give each kid $10 a month allowance age 5-10 and $20 allowance a month from 10-18. They give them a check register and show them how to write in the deposit. If they want to go to the movies, buy a guitar,etc…They have to save up the money in their checking account. Birthday money from grandparents or other misc $$$ is also deposited. They help them learn how to withdraw from their account and give 10% to charity. They said they got sick of the question, “Can I have $20.00 mom to go to….?”

The child has the option to put the money in a savings account to use for their college or wedding. If they choose to transfer money into their long term savings account, the parents double their money. The kids get a statement each month showing their balance. They can’t touch this until they are 18.

This teaches kids how to make $$$ off savings, delayed gratification, and how to balance a checkbook from a young age. I think these types of lessons will take a kid much further in life than from earning $100 for an A.

I thought it was brilliant and I was surprised at how little money they gave them each month.

[propertysearchaddiction]

Scardycat said…
“Shouldn’t there be a period of childhood that isn’t about cash? A time of innocent exploration free from the pressures of the marketplace, free from the call of the dollar, where they can learn what it is to be human.”

Why? They ask for toys and treats all the time. Money is part of life. I would rather teach them good principles so they have a clue when they are on their own. Today my 5 yr old wanted to spend $5.00 on a lego kit and he did using his savings. He handed over the cash and loved the independence.

I have a some cousins that are loaded and I recently asked them how they taught the principle of money to their kids because the kids are fantastic. First note that they pay for their clothes, school necessities etc. They also do a one hour Saturday chore. This is NOT tied to allowance. They are expected to help around the house.

They give each kid $10 a month allowance age 5-10 and $20 allowance a month from 10-18. They give them a check register and show them how to write in the deposit. If they want to go to the movies, buy a guitar,etc…They have to save up the money in their checking account. Birthday money from grandparents or other misc $$$ is also deposited. They help them learn how to withdraw from their account and give 10% to charity. They said they got sick of the question, “Can I have $20.00 mom to go to….?”

The child has the option to put the money in a savings account to use for their college or wedding. If they choose to transfer money into their long term savings account, the parents double their money. The kids get a statement each month showing their balance. They can’t touch this until they are 18.

This teaches kids how to make $$$ off savings, delayed gratification, and how to balance a checkbook from a young age. I think these types of lessons will take a kid much further in life than from earning $100 for an A.

I thought it was brilliant and I was surprised at how little money they gave them each month.

[svelte]

[quote=scaredycat]Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? [/quote]

So I assume you are against scholarships, which are basically just payment for grades in most cases.

[svelte]

[quote=scaredycat]Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? [/quote]

So I assume you are against scholarships, which are basically just payment for grades in most cases.

[svelte]

[quote=scaredycat]Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? [/quote]

So I assume you are against scholarships, which are basically just payment for grades in most cases.

[svelte]

[quote=scaredycat]Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? [/quote]

So I assume you are against scholarships, which are basically just payment for grades in most cases.

[Author]

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