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October 27, 2014 at 9:04 PM #779620October 27, 2014 at 9:52 PM #779623
njtosd
Participant[quote=flyer]Concerning Romance novels–the numbers speak for themselves. Women, primarily, are buying them by the billions. That definitely tells us something about the state of relationships in our society, and, it’s also a great business opportunity.
Realize everyone defines love, lust, and relationships differently–and drama is definitely a natural part of the whole package–wouldn’t have it any other way. As long as the relationship works for the people involved–that’s all that matters.[/quote]
Much of the “romance” genre (the bodice ripper types) is the female equivalent of pornography. Women read it surreptitiously, don’t care about the plot, characters are ridiculously 2 dimensional. Not talking about all of it – but if Fabio (or his current equivalent) is on the cover, women aren’t reading it for the nuanced character development. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And the numbers do speak for themselves, but what are they saying?? The secretaries at work used to have piles of them that they passed around . . .
October 28, 2014 at 12:39 AM #779626CA renter
Participant[quote=njtosd][quote=flyer]Concerning Romance novels–the numbers speak for themselves. Women, primarily, are buying them by the billions. That definitely tells us something about the state of relationships in our society, and, it’s also a great business opportunity.
Realize everyone defines love, lust, and relationships differently–and drama is definitely a natural part of the whole package–wouldn’t have it any other way. As long as the relationship works for the people involved–that’s all that matters.[/quote]
Much of the “romance” genre (the bodice ripper types) is the female equivalent of pornography. Women read it surreptitiously, don’t care about the plot, characters are ridiculously 2 dimensional. Not talking about all of it – but if Fabio (or his current equivalent) is on the cover, women aren’t reading it for the nuanced character development. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And the numbers do speak for themselves, but what are they saying?? The secretaries at work used to have piles of them that they passed around . . .[/quote]
Totally agree. The women I’ve known who read this stuff like the really hot sex scenes. It is women’s porn, and they can’t get enough of it. No different from men, really. Men get turned on by visual stimulation (at least, that’s what they say), and women get turned on by visions and scenarios in their minds that are conjured up by reading detailed stories of “romance.”
October 28, 2014 at 12:58 AM #779627Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]i must be the most sentimental dumbshit in the world because i’m weeping salty tears listening to this version by barbra streisand and i dont even like barbra streisand and im stuffing my face with a hamburger with my kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsiozE3IY3k%5B/quote%5D
Very nice. And while you might be sentimental (that’s a good thing, BTW), you’re certainly not a dumbshit. You always make great contributions here. Thank you.
October 28, 2014 at 5:56 AM #779628flyer
ParticipantMany women, like my wife, started writing what they consider “love stories,” not “porn” as a hobby, and, amazingly, they are still selling millions of copies around the world. Granted, their numbers are not in the same category as the 100 million the “50 Shades” series has sold, but that’s just not their style.
Everyone has different opinions about why Romance novels are so popular, and below, are excerpts from an article my wife shared with me that, in her opinion, touches upon the “real” reasons women are buying them in such huge numbers…
“It’s no secret that romance novels have appealed to women for decades. According to research conducted by the Romance Writers of America, 91 percent of the genre’s readers are female.
Romantic fiction remains the top-selling sector of the book market. Last year, the genre brought in a whopping $1.8 billion in the U.S. alone.
So what is the appeal of these fantastical stories? It might have something to do with women feeling underappreciated in their own lives. The heroines of romance novels often enjoy the lavish attention of male suitors, who cater to their every whim, and who often represent a stark contrast to the prototypical ’emotionally unavailable’ man. Not only do the men and women in these books connect on a sexual level, they become immersed in each other’s emotional yearnings.
In an age where staying ‘connected’ means following someone on Twitter or communicating via text message, these stories of deep physical and emotional intimacy offer a welcomed retreat from reality.
Much of the thrill of a romance novel is the care and devotion the hero lavishes on his beloved, maintains New York-based sex therapist Stephen Snyder.
Snyder, who has written extensively on the mystique of female sexuality, believes these novels capture the thrill of completely engrossing a man — without having to compete with the television, the iPhone or any of the myriad distractions that exist in the real world.
Foreplay often represents the one time when a woman can get a man’s full and undivided attention, says Snyder. One might interpret much of the text of a good romance novel as foreplay.
Mistina Picciano, President of Market It Write, concurs. As an avid reader of so-called ‘bodice rippers,’ she understands why these stories of male persistence appeal to readers.
Who doesn’t want to feel as if she’s the only woman in the world? That sense of power that comes from holding a man in thrall? said Picciano.
And for women with a demanding schedule and countless obligations, the genre offers an escape.
Most of us go through our daily lives on autopilot. We’re assailed from every direction with so much garbage (telemarketers, family demands, tedious chores, etc.) that we become numb out of self-defense, said Picciano. Reading romance gives us a chance to feel, to remind us that we’re human and that there is a beautiful, exciting world out there, waiting to be discovered under the piles of clean laundry that command our attention.
Popular romance author Sylvain Reynard believes that expanding fan base reflects a more optimistic, hopeful outlook. The fact that readers still read love stories shows me that the world is far less cynical than one might think, Reynard said. Cynics don’t cheer for a pair of lovers to overcome obstacles in order to find their happy ending.
Others believe the romance novels offer women what they can’t get in the real world. Couples therapist Niloo Darashti feels that male emotional neglect, a chronic problem in relationships, contributes to the appeal of the romance genre. In the real world, women often struggle for the kind of emotional support offered by romance novel heroes.
There’s typically a lack of presence and attention from men when it comes to women’s emotional needs, says Dardashti.
It’s exciting to experience that sort of breathtaking romance vicariously, whether you’re a sixteen-year-old who’s dying to experience it firsthand or a forty-year-old who dreams of seducing her husband away from the television set, adds Picciano.
Freelance writer and stay-at-home mom Emily Guy Birken believes the genre offers a reprieve from the daily tension of trying to ‘have it all’ — maintaining a successful relationship while holding down a steady career, with the added pressure of staying on top of domestic responsibilities.
I find that romance novels offer a great deal of emotional release when you are stressed or overwhelmed, as well as provide you with great platforms for thinking about what makes for good relationships, Birken said.
Sara Wendell, who runs a romance blog, offers another perspective. She doesn’t believe that romance novels are necessarily filling a void for women.
The stereotype that we’re all desperately lonely and unsatisfied is completely untrue: we like reading romances simply because the books can be amazing reads, Wendell said. It’s one of the few genres that reflect the varying experiences of being a woman, and it does so in a positive manner. No romance novel features a plot wherein the characters are told, If you’re thinner, more elegant, better dressed and smarter, you’ll find happiness,’ she continued.
The driving message of most romances is, ‘Everyone deserves to find happiness exactly for who they are.'”
THE END
October 28, 2014 at 6:18 AM #779629scaredyclassic
Participant[quote=flyer]Many women, like my wife, started writing what they consider “love stories,” not “porn” as a hobby, and, amazingly, they are still selling millions of copies around the world. Granted, their numbers are not in the same category as the 100 million the “50 Shades” series has sold, but that’s just not their style.
Everyone has different opinions about why Romance novels are so popular, and below, are excerpts from an article my wife shared with me that, in her opinion, touches upon the “real” reasons women are buying them in such huge numbers…
“It’s no secret that romance novels have appealed to women for decades. According to research conducted by the Romance Writers of America, 91 percent of the genre’s readers are female.
Romantic fiction remains the top-selling sector of the book market. Last year, the genre brought in a whopping $1.8 billion in the U.S. alone.
So what is the appeal of these fantastical stories? It might have something to do with women feeling underappreciated in their own lives. The heroines of romance novels often enjoy the lavish attention of male suitors, who cater to their every whim, and who often represent a stark contrast to the prototypical ’emotionally unavailable’ man. Not only do the men and women in these books connect on a sexual level, they become immersed in each other’s emotional yearnings.
In an age where staying ‘connected’ means following someone on Twitter or communicating via text message, these stories of deep physical and emotional intimacy offer a welcomed retreat from reality.
Much of the thrill of a romance novel is the care and devotion the hero lavishes on his beloved, maintains New York-based sex therapist Stephen Snyder.
Snyder, who has written extensively on the mystique of female sexuality, believes these novels capture the thrill of completely engrossing a man — without having to compete with the television, the iPhone or any of the myriad distractions that exist in the real world.
Foreplay often represents the one time when a woman can get a man’s full and undivided attention, says Snyder. One might interpret much of the text of a good romance novel as foreplay.
Mistina Picciano, President of Market It Write, concurs. As an avid reader of so-called ‘bodice rippers,’ she understands why these stories of male persistence appeal to readers.
Who doesn’t want to feel as if she’s the only woman in the world? That sense of power that comes from holding a man in thrall? said Picciano.
And for women with a demanding schedule and countless obligations, the genre offers an escape.
Most of us go through our daily lives on autopilot. We’re assailed from every direction with so much garbage (telemarketers, family demands, tedious chores, etc.) that we become numb out of self-defense, said Picciano. Reading romance gives us a chance to feel, to remind us that we’re human and that there is a beautiful, exciting world out there, waiting to be discovered under the piles of clean laundry that command our attention.
Popular romance author Sylvain Reynard believes that expanding fan base reflects a more optimistic, hopeful outlook. The fact that readers still read love stories shows me that the world is far less cynical than one might think, Reynard said. Cynics don’t cheer for a pair of lovers to overcome obstacles in order to find their happy ending.
Others believe the romance novels offer women what they can’t get in the real world. Couples therapist Niloo Darashti feels that male emotional neglect, a chronic problem in relationships, contributes to the appeal of the romance genre. In the real world, women often struggle for the kind of emotional support offered by romance novel heroes.
There’s typically a lack of presence and attention from men when it comes to women’s emotional needs, says Dardashti.
It’s exciting to experience that sort of breathtaking romance vicariously, whether you’re a sixteen-year-old who’s dying to experience it firsthand or a forty-year-old who dreams of seducing her husband away from the television set, adds Picciano.
Freelance writer and stay-at-home mom Emily Guy Birken believes the genre offers a reprieve from the daily tension of trying to ‘have it all’ — maintaining a successful relationship while holding down a steady career, with the added pressure of staying on top of domestic responsibilities.
I find that romance novels offer a great deal of emotional release when you are stressed or overwhelmed, as well as provide you with great platforms for thinking about what makes for good relationships, Birken said.
Sara Wendell, who runs a romance blog, offers another perspective. She doesn’t believe that romance novels are necessarily filling a void for women.
The stereotype that we’re all desperately lonely and unsatisfied is completely untrue: we like reading romances simply because the books can be amazing reads, Wendell said. It’s one of the few genres that reflect the varying experiences of being a woman, and it does so in a positive manner. No romance novel features a plot wherein the characters are told, If you’re thinner, more elegant, better dressed and smarter, you’ll find happiness,’ she continued.
The driving message of most romances is, ‘Everyone deserves to find happiness exactly for who they are.'”
THE END[/quote]
interesting. If porn is bad for men maybe romance novels are bad for women. Maybe both create unrealistic expectations …
October 28, 2014 at 8:51 AM #779635NotCranky
ParticipantThanks for that following up with that post, Flyer, I agree it’s interesting.
It certainly comes through to me that reading romance novels at anything like “addictive” levels would be analogous to male porn addiction. From the numbers of sales and comments others have made like ,”secretaries passing piles of them around the office” , that some of that addiction is happening and right before our very eyes.O.K. ,
One can find lots of comparisons of reading at least some types of romance novels to porn.
http://www.kathleenvalentineblog.com/2011/07/romance-novel-addiction-pornography-for.htmlOctober 28, 2014 at 8:56 AM #779636ParticipantNobody answered my question, “are there orgasms in romance novels” I honestly didn’t know. But evidently there are. http://www.loveromancepassion.com/6-ways-to-orgasm-according-to-romance-novels/
That’s suspsect for porn at the least. I know sex happens in books but not consistently through any other genre I know of. Nudity happens too but it happens all the time in porn mags.
October 28, 2014 at 12:39 PM #779645FlyerInHi
GuestMaybe women go through stages.
One female cousin was a voracious romance novel reader up to her mid 20s. She’s now quite a business woman. She wears the pants and tells her husband what needs done. She started businesses and setup each of her 3 kids with a business.
October 28, 2014 at 2:14 PM #779646Guest[quote=scaredyclassic]
I have a hard time seeing myself having sex with the elderly but I also couldn’t see myself having sex with women in their 40s when I was a pup. I assume therefore all these senior citizens are going to start looking hot shortly which quote frankly scares me.[/quote]Don’t we all end up having sex with the elderly eventually?
L’Oreal billionaire Liliane Bettencourt’s boyfriend got 1 billion Euros. I could do it for the right amount.
October 28, 2014 at 2:36 PM #779647zk
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi]
I’m not Buddhist at all, but they say that you can transcend the human condition by controlling your desires and feelings.
[/quote]
[quote=FlyerInHi]
L’Oreal billionaire Liliane Bettencourt’s boyfriend got 1 billion Euros. I could do it for the right amount.[/quote]But if you controlled your desire for money, you wouldn’t have to.
October 28, 2014 at 6:46 PM #779650ParticipantThe specific “effect” Romance novels have on each person who buys them is definitely an individual experience, but, IMO, and my wife’s opinion, they aren’t selling billions of copies around the world just because of any sexual content.
It’s true that, in the past few years, the “erotic” Romance sub-genre like “50 Shades,” etc., is outselling other Romance genres, but those, like my wife, who prefer not to write in that genre, are still selling books by the millions.
My wife gets thousands of responses from women who share why her “love stories” connect with them in their lives, and, without going into it in great depth, suffice it to say, their reasons are far deeper and more complex than the obvious.
This is pretty much all I have to say on this topic, so I’ll leave it at that. The only reason I brought it up in the first place, was because the OP concerned relationships, and I thought the phenomenal success of Romance novels might provide an interesting perspective.
October 28, 2014 at 7:05 PM #779651Participant[quote=flyer]The specific “effect” Romance novels have on each person who buys them is definitely an individual experience, but, IMO, and my wife’s opinion, they aren’t selling billions of copies around the world just because of any sexual content.
It’s true that, in the past few years, the “erotic” Romance sub-genre like “50 Shades,” etc., is outselling other Romance genres, but those, like my wife, who prefer not to write in that genre, are still selling books by the millions.
My wife gets thousands of responses from women who share why her “love stories” connect with them in their lives, and, without going into it in great depth, suffice it to say, their reasons are far deeper and more complex than the obvious.
This is pretty much all I have to say on this topic, so I’ll leave it at that. The only reason I brought it up in the first place, was because the OP concerned relationships, and I thought the phenomenal success of Romance novels might provide an interesting perspective.[/quote]
I hope you understand that I was limiting myself to a certain type of book – Jane Austen apparently qualifies as a writer of romance novels, and I certainly wasn’t including her. As I mentioned, there are books with very little plot or character development that have a salacious quality that appears designed to be titillating (pun intended). I have no problem with it – just remarking.
Flyer – it sounds as though your wife has energy to spare. I am jealous.
October 29, 2014 at 12:49 AM #779654Participant[quote=njtosd][quote=flyer]The specific “effect” Romance novels have on each person who buys them is definitely an individual experience, but, IMO, and my wife’s opinion, they aren’t selling billions of copies around the world just because of any sexual content.
It’s true that, in the past few years, the “erotic” Romance sub-genre like “50 Shades,” etc., is outselling other Romance genres, but those, like my wife, who prefer not to write in that genre, are still selling books by the millions.
My wife gets thousands of responses from women who share why her “love stories” connect with them in their lives, and, without going into it in great depth, suffice it to say, their reasons are far deeper and more complex than the obvious.
This is pretty much all I have to say on this topic, so I’ll leave it at that. The only reason I brought it up in the first place, was because the OP concerned relationships, and I thought the phenomenal success of Romance novels might provide an interesting perspective.[/quote]
I hope you understand that I was limiting myself to a certain type of book – Jane Austen apparently qualifies as a writer of romance novels, and I certainly wasn’t including her. As I mentioned, there are books with very little plot or character development that have a salacious quality that appears designed to be titillating (pun intended). I have no problem with it – just remarking.
Flyer – it sounds as though your wife has energy to spare. I am jealous.[/quote]
Thanks, nj. I always enjoy reading your very “spot on” comments, and appreciate the clarification. My wife is definitely enjoying the ride for as long as it lasts.
October 29, 2014 at 4:41 AM #779656Participant[quote=njtosd][quote=flyer]The specific “effect” Romance novels have on each person who buys them is definitely an individual experience, but, IMO, and my wife’s opinion, they aren’t selling billions of copies around the world just because of any sexual content.
It’s true that, in the past few years, the “erotic” Romance sub-genre like “50 Shades,” etc., is outselling other Romance genres, but those, like my wife, who prefer not to write in that genre, are still selling books by the millions.
My wife gets thousands of responses from women who share why her “love stories” connect with them in their lives, and, without going into it in great depth, suffice it to say, their reasons are far deeper and more complex than the obvious.
This is pretty much all I have to say on this topic, so I’ll leave it at that. The only reason I brought it up in the first place, was because the OP concerned relationships, and I thought the phenomenal success of Romance novels might provide an interesting perspective.[/quote]
I hope you understand that I was limiting myself to a certain type of book – Jane Austen apparently qualifies as a writer of romance novels, and I certainly wasn’t including her. As I mentioned, there are books with very little plot or character development that have a salacious quality that appears designed to be titillating (pun intended). I have no problem with it – just remarking.
Flyer – it sounds as though your wife has energy to spare. I am jealous.[/quote]
I second what njtosd is saying here. Please tell your wife, if she’s been reading this thread, that the “women’s porn” comment was not directed at her; not at all. My very little experience with romance novels is what I’ve gleaned from coworkers and a few female friends; the ones who voraciously read romance novels seemed to be into a lot of those “spicy” ones. I’m a non-fiction gal, myself.
Your wife seems to be living a very exciting and fulfilling life. Her contributions to this thread are appreciated, as are yours. Your comment about Kev possibly learning something about relationships by reading romance novels is an excellent one; he’d be wise to consider it. Most men would probably do well by reading a romance novel or two, just to get a better understanding of how many women think about romance (or hope for it).
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