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NotCranky.
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March 31, 2011 at 12:34 PM #683388March 31, 2011 at 5:29 PM #682294
eavesdropper
Participant[quote=briansd1] My dad says that it’s all about will-power and strength of character. He says that we kids are weak because we were cuddled too much and have too many emotions messing with our heads. Given that he’s 80 and in excellent health, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. [/quote]
I’d like to agree with him, Brian, but it doesn’t explain why there are addicts from all different backgrounds, including quite a few that did not include “coddling”.
However, I will agree that willpower ultimately plays a part. No matter what kind of rehab you go through or therapy you undergo, ultimately you’re going to have to get through each day of the rest of your life, no matter how stressful or painful, without taking a hit of cocaine or slug of scotch. And that isn’t going to happen until an addict fully accepts that his poison of choice is going to kill him and realizes that he wants to live more than he wants to die.
But denial is a powerful thing, and between that and the unintentional enabling of an addiction by “kind” friends and relatives, the addict can avoid that decision for years. I am shocked by what appears to be people’s ability and propensity to deny. There are alcoholics to whom I could show real-time laparoscopic pictures of their severely cirrhotic livers, and they would still deny that it was theirs.
[quote=briansd1] [quote=eavesdropper]
You know when willpower kicks in? When someone knows, without a doubt, that what they’re drinking/eating/ shooting up is going to kill them.
[/quote]My dad quit smoking and drinking pretty cold turkey without any professional help because, over the years, he watched his friends get diseased and die. [/quote]
Exactly my point. Your dad just got the message a lot sooner than most.
[quote=briansd1] My dad says that drugs and prostitution should be made legal. People do it anyway, so why fight it?[/quote]
Hear, hear!! I heartily concur.
March 31, 2011 at 5:29 PM #682348eavesdropper
Participant[quote=briansd1] My dad says that it’s all about will-power and strength of character. He says that we kids are weak because we were cuddled too much and have too many emotions messing with our heads. Given that he’s 80 and in excellent health, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. [/quote]
I’d like to agree with him, Brian, but it doesn’t explain why there are addicts from all different backgrounds, including quite a few that did not include “coddling”.
However, I will agree that willpower ultimately plays a part. No matter what kind of rehab you go through or therapy you undergo, ultimately you’re going to have to get through each day of the rest of your life, no matter how stressful or painful, without taking a hit of cocaine or slug of scotch. And that isn’t going to happen until an addict fully accepts that his poison of choice is going to kill him and realizes that he wants to live more than he wants to die.
But denial is a powerful thing, and between that and the unintentional enabling of an addiction by “kind” friends and relatives, the addict can avoid that decision for years. I am shocked by what appears to be people’s ability and propensity to deny. There are alcoholics to whom I could show real-time laparoscopic pictures of their severely cirrhotic livers, and they would still deny that it was theirs.
[quote=briansd1] [quote=eavesdropper]
You know when willpower kicks in? When someone knows, without a doubt, that what they’re drinking/eating/ shooting up is going to kill them.
[/quote]My dad quit smoking and drinking pretty cold turkey without any professional help because, over the years, he watched his friends get diseased and die. [/quote]
Exactly my point. Your dad just got the message a lot sooner than most.
[quote=briansd1] My dad says that drugs and prostitution should be made legal. People do it anyway, so why fight it?[/quote]
Hear, hear!! I heartily concur.
March 31, 2011 at 5:29 PM #682969eavesdropper
Participant[quote=briansd1] My dad says that it’s all about will-power and strength of character. He says that we kids are weak because we were cuddled too much and have too many emotions messing with our heads. Given that he’s 80 and in excellent health, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. [/quote]
I’d like to agree with him, Brian, but it doesn’t explain why there are addicts from all different backgrounds, including quite a few that did not include “coddling”.
However, I will agree that willpower ultimately plays a part. No matter what kind of rehab you go through or therapy you undergo, ultimately you’re going to have to get through each day of the rest of your life, no matter how stressful or painful, without taking a hit of cocaine or slug of scotch. And that isn’t going to happen until an addict fully accepts that his poison of choice is going to kill him and realizes that he wants to live more than he wants to die.
But denial is a powerful thing, and between that and the unintentional enabling of an addiction by “kind” friends and relatives, the addict can avoid that decision for years. I am shocked by what appears to be people’s ability and propensity to deny. There are alcoholics to whom I could show real-time laparoscopic pictures of their severely cirrhotic livers, and they would still deny that it was theirs.
[quote=briansd1] [quote=eavesdropper]
You know when willpower kicks in? When someone knows, without a doubt, that what they’re drinking/eating/ shooting up is going to kill them.
[/quote]My dad quit smoking and drinking pretty cold turkey without any professional help because, over the years, he watched his friends get diseased and die. [/quote]
Exactly my point. Your dad just got the message a lot sooner than most.
[quote=briansd1] My dad says that drugs and prostitution should be made legal. People do it anyway, so why fight it?[/quote]
Hear, hear!! I heartily concur.
March 31, 2011 at 5:29 PM #683110eavesdropper
Participant[quote=briansd1] My dad says that it’s all about will-power and strength of character. He says that we kids are weak because we were cuddled too much and have too many emotions messing with our heads. Given that he’s 80 and in excellent health, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. [/quote]
I’d like to agree with him, Brian, but it doesn’t explain why there are addicts from all different backgrounds, including quite a few that did not include “coddling”.
However, I will agree that willpower ultimately plays a part. No matter what kind of rehab you go through or therapy you undergo, ultimately you’re going to have to get through each day of the rest of your life, no matter how stressful or painful, without taking a hit of cocaine or slug of scotch. And that isn’t going to happen until an addict fully accepts that his poison of choice is going to kill him and realizes that he wants to live more than he wants to die.
But denial is a powerful thing, and between that and the unintentional enabling of an addiction by “kind” friends and relatives, the addict can avoid that decision for years. I am shocked by what appears to be people’s ability and propensity to deny. There are alcoholics to whom I could show real-time laparoscopic pictures of their severely cirrhotic livers, and they would still deny that it was theirs.
[quote=briansd1] [quote=eavesdropper]
You know when willpower kicks in? When someone knows, without a doubt, that what they’re drinking/eating/ shooting up is going to kill them.
[/quote]My dad quit smoking and drinking pretty cold turkey without any professional help because, over the years, he watched his friends get diseased and die. [/quote]
Exactly my point. Your dad just got the message a lot sooner than most.
[quote=briansd1] My dad says that drugs and prostitution should be made legal. People do it anyway, so why fight it?[/quote]
Hear, hear!! I heartily concur.
March 31, 2011 at 5:29 PM #683464eavesdropper
Participant[quote=briansd1] My dad says that it’s all about will-power and strength of character. He says that we kids are weak because we were cuddled too much and have too many emotions messing with our heads. Given that he’s 80 and in excellent health, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. [/quote]
I’d like to agree with him, Brian, but it doesn’t explain why there are addicts from all different backgrounds, including quite a few that did not include “coddling”.
However, I will agree that willpower ultimately plays a part. No matter what kind of rehab you go through or therapy you undergo, ultimately you’re going to have to get through each day of the rest of your life, no matter how stressful or painful, without taking a hit of cocaine or slug of scotch. And that isn’t going to happen until an addict fully accepts that his poison of choice is going to kill him and realizes that he wants to live more than he wants to die.
But denial is a powerful thing, and between that and the unintentional enabling of an addiction by “kind” friends and relatives, the addict can avoid that decision for years. I am shocked by what appears to be people’s ability and propensity to deny. There are alcoholics to whom I could show real-time laparoscopic pictures of their severely cirrhotic livers, and they would still deny that it was theirs.
[quote=briansd1] [quote=eavesdropper]
You know when willpower kicks in? When someone knows, without a doubt, that what they’re drinking/eating/ shooting up is going to kill them.
[/quote]My dad quit smoking and drinking pretty cold turkey without any professional help because, over the years, he watched his friends get diseased and die. [/quote]
Exactly my point. Your dad just got the message a lot sooner than most.
[quote=briansd1] My dad says that drugs and prostitution should be made legal. People do it anyway, so why fight it?[/quote]
Hear, hear!! I heartily concur.
March 31, 2011 at 6:07 PM #682299njtosd
ParticipantHas anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.
March 31, 2011 at 6:07 PM #682353njtosd
ParticipantHas anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.
March 31, 2011 at 6:07 PM #682974njtosd
ParticipantHas anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.
March 31, 2011 at 6:07 PM #683115njtosd
ParticipantHas anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.
March 31, 2011 at 6:07 PM #683469njtosd
ParticipantHas anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.
March 31, 2011 at 6:32 PM #682309ocrenter
Participant[quote=njtosd]Has anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.[/quote]
did the kids that fail the test become obese alcoholics? =)
March 31, 2011 at 6:32 PM #682363ocrenter
Participant[quote=njtosd]Has anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.[/quote]
did the kids that fail the test become obese alcoholics? =)
March 31, 2011 at 6:32 PM #682984ocrenter
Participant[quote=njtosd]Has anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.[/quote]
did the kids that fail the test become obese alcoholics? =)
March 31, 2011 at 6:32 PM #683125ocrenter
Participant[quote=njtosd]Has anyone on this board ever heard of the Marshmallow test? Here’s an article from the New Yorker that describes it in more detail: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=2
The gist of it is that 4 year olds were subjected to an experiment where they were offered a treat (cookie, marshmallow, etc.). The researcher told the child that he/she was going to leave the room, but if the treat was still there when the researcher returned, the child could have two of the treat. This was a basic test for delaying gratification. For various reasons, the researchers followed up with the test subjects much later in life and found that the kids’ ability to delay gratification hadn’t changed much over the years. Furthermore, the ones who had been able to resist the treat until the researcher returned were much more successful in life overall (higher achievement, higher SAT scores, etc.) This suggests that will power is established early on, important to a variety of life’s challenges, and, in my opinion, may well be inborn.[/quote]
did the kids that fail the test become obese alcoholics? =)
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