middle school logic

[njtosd]

Finally – I like Andrew Luck – and it appears he’s grown up to be a man …..http://www.wsj.com/articles/andrew-luck-the-nfls-most-perplexing-trash-talker-1418663249

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=njtosd][quote=ltsdd]Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?[/quote]
+1

Who do you want your son to grow up to be? If this isn’t a step in the direction you are hoping for, I’d be concerned. Almost all people who say cruel/unkind things defend themselves by saying they were joking.[/quote]

You should want your son to be able to hang with other men. This is a step in that direction.

[scaredyclassic]

Hmmmm. The andrew luck tactic only works if you are super alpha.

Basically his gimmick is, “come at me you little bitch” taken to the next level. No matter how hard you think you’ve hit me, I condescendingly pat you on the head and say essentially good job little buddy.

In the context of the nfl, it would be far less effective and perhaps less inflammatory to curse out the opposition. Certainly lucks alpha/dominant language screws more with the other men’s psyches. But again, this tactic would only work for males at the very apex of the good chain of males. And it is almost certainly not intended to be friendly.

I actually am unqualified to speak about this because I am the clueless male, the irate dad’s kid, in the story of my life. These are just my own useless thoughts.

[outtamojo]

http://thoughtcatalog.com/raul-felix/2013/09/on-talking-smack/

Yah, this is the world I’ve known as a man. This excerpt from a guys’ guy I agree with too:

“Women reinforce social bonds by complimenting each other (but not really meaning it), whereas we men socialize by insulting each other (but not really meaning it).” -Tucker Max

So Andrew Luck socializes by complimenting and not really meaning it? Are social lies acceptable or would they fail the test?

[NotCranky]

The ability to hang with men, or making good decisions about when not to, comes from the child’s indoctrination to the world by their caregivers , what they need is confidence not vulgarity …and practice with peers counts, but lil’bitch is only good for practicing shrugging off and ignoring that kind of stuff. Where is it part of the adult world in an appropriate not immature or worse, hateful way? Maybe to vent in privacy or something. Profanity is the language of anger. To the degree kids are thriving in the mainstream culture,which I bet is what the OP wants, mastering lil’bitch comments and yo mama jokes has nothing to do with it. There are lots of amazing kids who are kind and are not embracing valuing that. Doesn’t mean they have to be humorless.

The other father was wrong to get hostile only because he didn’t teach his kid to shrug it off and tell him to decide on the value of the group , the activities they share, and the value of individual males for himself. Getting hostile about lil’bitch , because that’s the manly and tough thing to do is just as dumb as saying it in the first place.

But if I were the op I would drop the other dad from the discussion completely , Only his son’s role , his understanding personal responsibility in it , really matters.

[NotCranky]

[quote=outtamojo]http://thoughtcatalog.com/raul-felix/2013/09/on-talking-smack/

Yah, this is the world I’ve known as a man. This excerpt from a guys’ guy I agree with too:

“Women reinforce social bonds by complimenting each other (but not really meaning it), whereas we men socialize by insulting each other (but not really meaning it).” -Tucker Max

So Andrew Luck socializes by complimenting and not really meaning it? Are social lies acceptable or would they fail the test?[/quote]

This is just a distraction from the issue ,like focusing on the other dad’s problem.
It’s your son that matters, isn’t it? .

[NotCranky]

Yesterday I was at the gym with my eight year old son. We walked around the pool area looking for a man to do the swim portion of and upcoming triathlon relay. My son couldn’t believe I was going to walk up to complete strangers introduce myself and ask if they wanted to do the swim. I did it though, had a few nice conversations, that is an initiation. Of course, if they didn’t wan’t to do it, I said thanks anyway lil’ bitch.

[outtamojo]

[quote=Blogstar]The ability to hang with men, or making good decisions about when not to, comes from the child’s indoctrination to the world by their caregivers , what they need is confidence not vulgarity …and practice with peers counts, but lil’bitch is only good for practicing shrugging off and ignoring that kind of stuff. Where is it part of the adult world in an appropriate not immature or worse, hateful way? Maybe to vent in privacy or something. Profanity is the language of anger. To the degree kids are thriving in the mainstream culture,which I bet is what the OP wants, mastering lil’bitch comments and yo mama jokes has nothing to do with it. There are lots of amazing kids who are kind and are not embracing valuing that. Doesn’t mean they have to be humorless.

The other father was wrong to get hostile only because he didn’t teach his kid to shrug it off and tell him to decide on the value of the group , the activities they share, and the value of individual males for himself. Getting hostile about lil’bitch , because that’s the manly and tough thing to do is just as dumb as saying it in the first place.

But if I were the op I would drop the other dad from the discussion completely , Only his son’s role , his understanding personal responsibility in it , really matters.[/quote]

In my adult life I have seen more than enough meanness and cruelty from those who ALWAYS use socially appropriate language to know not to judge a person’s heart by how they speak. Some of the kindest people I ever knew use the crudest language possible. I personally despise those who hide their cruelty under veils of sweet social talk. As for my son, I am just trying to figure out if he was just joking or if he really is a mean person. Being mean using socially appropriate words is not acceptable in my book and worse imo than being crude.
I’d like to see some of those “amazing kids” under a little bit of pressure. Very easy to be “kind” when your world is controlled and needs and wants taken care of but in a world of scarcity how will they behave? I’d rather hold off the amazing judgment until then.

[outtamojo]

[quote=Blogstar]Yesterday I was at the gym with my eight year old son. We walked around the pool area looking for a man to do the swim portion of and upcoming triathlon relay. My son couldn’t believe I was going to walk up to complete strangers introduce myself and ask if they wanted to do the swim. I did it though, had a few nice conversations, that is an initiation. Of course, if they didn’t wan’t to do it, I said thanks anyway lil’ bitch.[/quote]

Not supposed to talk that way to strangers ( the lil bitch part). My son and the other kid had more history than that.
I can see now how new this is to you.

[NotCranky]

[quote=outtamojo][quote=Blogstar]The ability to hang with men, or making good decisions about when not to, comes from the child’s indoctrination to the world by their caregivers , what they need is confidence not vulgarity …and practice with peers counts, but lil’bitch is only good for practicing shrugging off and ignoring that kind of stuff. Where is it part of the adult world in an appropriate not immature or worse, hateful way? Maybe to vent in privacy or something. Profanity is the language of anger. To the degree kids are thriving in the mainstream culture,which I bet is what the OP wants, mastering lil’bitch comments and yo mama jokes has nothing to do with it. There are lots of amazing kids who are kind and are not embracing valuing that. Doesn’t mean they have to be humorless.

The other father was wrong to get hostile only because he didn’t teach his kid to shrug it off and tell him to decide on the value of the group , the activities they share, and the value of individual males for himself. Getting hostile about lil’bitch , because that’s the manly and tough thing to do is just as dumb as saying it in the first place.

But if I were the op I would drop the other dad from the discussion completely , Only his son’s role , his understanding personal responsibility in it , really matters.[/quote]

In my adult life I have seen more than enough meanness and cruelty from those who ALWAYS use socially appropriate language to know not to judge a person’s heart by how they speak. Some of the kindest people I ever knew use the crudest language possible. I personally despise those who hide their cruelty under veils of sweet social talk. As for my son, I am just trying to figure out if he was just joking or if he really is a mean person. Being mean using socially appropriate words is not acceptable in my book and worse imo than being crude.
I’d like to see some of those “amazing kids” under a little bit of pressure. Very easy to be “kind” when your world is controlled and needs and wants taken care of but in a world of scarcity how will they behave? I’d rather hold off the amazing judgment until then.[/quote]

Trust me, I know what you are saying about polite people rejecting others who are good people but rough around the edges. I am the rough around the edges one who was raised wrong, has a terrible background. I married into a family more of the socially appropriate type that is no less mean and also not thriving more socially than I am for sure. So, anyway I am not defending cruelty under any guise. I am saying I don’t want the “like father like son” thing to have a perfect match in my case. There are things that my kids can draw on from the polite side of things and stuff from where I come from to leave behind. So that’s why I am saying keep the focus on your son.

[outtamojo]

Well, they looked at each other but didn’t speak to each other yesterday. I kinda hope they patch things up but now may be too soon.

[FlyerInHi]

All this necessarily brings up Donald Trump: machismo, pecking order, wealth, sophistication, etc.. Life is so much like middle/high school.

Trump is good at using all his assets to establish pecking order: all women who love him, money, sharp words, and of course lawyers.

[outtamojo]

How about all roads necessarily lead to political threadjack. Dude! there’s already a what I like about trump thread.

[FlyerInHi]

That would not be hanging, but it would be pecking order….. “My daddy is lawyer, your daddy is a loser”.

What would you say to a dad who approached you and said “your son told my son that I’m a loser” ?

[FlyerInHi]

[quote=outtamojo]How about all roads necessarily lead to political threadjack. Dude! there’s already a what I like about trump thread.[/quote]

Sorry…. I was responding to flyer’s comment about networth in the pecking order. That combined with the bluster that people like to use. Apparently people start learning it at an early age.

[Author]

Posts