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njtosd.
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November 24, 2015 at 8:15 AM #791545November 24, 2015 at 8:22 AM #791547
scaredyclassic
ParticipantThis seems a little like minority students calling for safe spaces on campus to limit speech that makes them uncomfortable.
Not sure that discomfort can be vanquished in our lifetime.
November 24, 2015 at 8:25 AM #791548Participant[quote=CA renter]Scaredy, when one of your clients is about to head off to prison, do you advise him to smile and nod when the other inmates catcall and whistle at him? Do you tell him that it’s “just a compliment,” and he should be happy about it?
Because that’s what it feels like to be a woman walking by yourself and having a group of sexually aggressive men catcall, grope, and make vulgar gestures at you.
Trust me, it’s not taken as a compliment; it’s a threat.[/quote]
The only reasonable advice for anyone afraid and feeling vulnerable is to be stronger, braver and tougher, and to fake it if you cant. I certainly wouldn’t advise them to try to change attitudes amongst prisoners or lodge complaints constantly about small transgressions against them.
November 24, 2015 at 11:44 AM #791552FlyerInHi
GuestYes, learn to be strong.
The most ridiculous thing is when you hear women desperate to get married and be taken care of. Learn to be strong and take care of yourself.
My niece once pushed another girl whose mom complained to the principal. Kids dare each other. Kids should learn to deal with a little shove.
November 24, 2015 at 12:22 PM #791554outtamojo
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi]Yes, learn to be strong.
The most ridiculous thing is when you hear women desperate to get married and be taken care of. Learn to be strong and take care of yourself.
My niece once pushed another girl whose mom complained to the principal. Kids dare each other. Kids should learn to deal with a little shove.[/quote]
Hard to take care of yourself when an 8 pound baby splits you in two and you’ve got blood and afterbirth hangin’ all over you – hence the biological drive to look for someone to take care of you.
November 24, 2015 at 1:03 PM #791557Guest[quote=outtamojo]
Hard to take care of yourself when an 8 pound baby splits you in two and you’ve got blood and afterbirth hangin’ all over you – hence the biological drive to look for someone to take care of you.[/quote]I can go with this…. but there’s a price to everything in life. If someone takes care of you, then you need to give something in exchange. If the boss pays you, then you have to submit to the boss and do as told.
The baby belongs to both parents, so the baby itself cannot be part of the bargain.
November 24, 2015 at 6:02 PM #791560CA renter
Participant[quote=FlyerInHi][quote=outtamojo]
Hard to take care of yourself when an 8 pound baby splits you in two and you’ve got blood and afterbirth hangin’ all over you – hence the biological drive to look for someone to take care of you.[/quote]I can go with this…. but there’s a price to everything in life. If someone takes care of you, then you need to give something in exchange. If the boss pays you, then you have to submit to the boss and do as told.
The baby belongs to both parents, so the baby itself cannot be part of the bargain.[/quote]
The baby belongs to the mother by default. The father wouldn’t even know that a pregnancy resulted from his sex act unless the woman told him. He would have no rights to the child without the legal system (created by men, and based largely on religious doctrine that establishes a man’s position over his wife) that gives him rights to the child, and a legal/social structure — marriage — that reinforces this arrangement and gives women a reason to share the child with the father. She gives him the ability to pass on his genes, giving his family line the potential for “eternal life,” and he returns the favor by taking care of the wife for life.
Of course, it’s a business deal, and both spouses have other ways to give and take, but that’s the basic premise.
November 24, 2015 at 6:06 PM #791561Participant[quote=outtamojo][quote=FlyerInHi]Yes, learn to be strong.
The most ridiculous thing is when you hear women desperate to get married and be taken care of. Learn to be strong and take care of yourself.
My niece once pushed another girl whose mom complained to the principal. Kids dare each other. Kids should learn to deal with a little shove.[/quote]
Hard to take care of yourself when an 8 pound baby splits you in two and you’ve got blood and afterbirth hangin’ all over you – hence the biological drive to look for someone to take care of you.[/quote]
Agreed. This and the fact that women are generally smaller and weaker, and much more likely be tortured, raped, and killed than a man if things go wrong. Of course, men are often killed in larger numbers during wars and battles, but they are less likely to be tortured and raped in the process.
November 25, 2015 at 2:26 AM #791566Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]This seems a little like minority students calling for safe spaces on campus to limit speech that makes them uncomfortable.
Not sure that discomfort can be vanquished in our lifetime.[/quote]
Again, it’s far easier to take this position when you’re the one in power. Not so easy when you’re the one who’s been subjected to violent/aggressive/hateful speech and actions, especially when you’re in a more vulnerable and less powerful position.
November 25, 2015 at 2:43 AM #791567Participant[quote=scaredyclassic]All interactions in prison and life are potential threats.
Catcalling is not a crime. Groping is a crime and could result in prison time. We can’t conflate noncriminal words with a sex crime.[/quote]
Sexually aggressive words and actions can indeed be grouped together. We’re not talking about the law here; we’re talking about how one group’s behavior (the group of stronger, larger [in size and/or number], more powerful people) negatively affects another weaker, less powerful group — groups who often have a long history of being abused and oppressed by the more powerful group.
November 25, 2015 at 5:59 AM #791568Participant[quote=CA renter][quote=scaredyclassic]All interactions in prison and life are potential threats.
Catcalling is not a crime. Groping is a crime and could result in prison time. We can’t conflate noncriminal words with a sex crime.[/quote]
Sexually aggressive words and actions can indeed be grouped together. We’re not talking about the law here; we’re talking about how one group’s behavior (the group of stronger, larger [in size and/or number], more powerful people) negatively affects another weaker, less powerful group — groups who often have a long history of being abused and oppressed by the more powerful group.[/quote
Sure. And lustful glances can be grouped together with actual adultery.
November 25, 2015 at 6:00 AM #791569Participant[quote=CA renter][quote=scaredyclassic]This seems a little like minority students calling for safe spaces on campus to limit speech that makes them uncomfortable.
Not sure that discomfort can be vanquished in our lifetime.[/quote]
Again, it’s far easier to take this position when you’re the one in power. Not so easy when you’re the one who’s been subjected to violent/aggressive/hateful speech and actions, especially when you’re in a more vulnerable and less powerful position.[/quote]
If you’re limiting someone’s speech I’d say by definition you’re in reality in the way more powerful position
November 25, 2015 at 6:07 AM #791571ParticipantWhy not just criminalize all sexual aggressive introductory comeons. Say we found all date rapists were intensely forward and confident and pushy upon inteoduction. Shouldn’t that be enough to shut down such behavior, criminally or just socially by custom , since it can be “geouped” together?
November 25, 2015 at 11:50 AM #791578NotCranky
ParticipantLooking lustfully at someone or even getting tingly feelings , or fawning over Johnny Depp, isn’t adultery in my book, it just proves you’re married not dead. Women don’t look lustfully as quickly or as much as men do, but have longer slower simmering fantasies, because it takes women 30 minutes to get arousal going, but for men about a nano second.
Adultery is kind of a stupid and childish idea anyway. If my wife moved on with someone , I would call it moving on , not adultery. I don’t think it is cool to deceive people, but we don’t need something like adultery themes to manipulate and control our relationship behaviors. Or maybe we do and should bring back stoning or killing people who consentially rub genitals with one another..or for even thinking about it?
November 25, 2015 at 11:54 AM #791579ParticipantOh shit! my wife wants to watch Benny and June and Chocolat tonight. Adulteress!
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