middle school logic

[ltsddd]

[quote=zk][quote=Blogstar]I wouldn’t want my kids to hang out as an equal with kids who think that is a fine way to talk. Clearly it’s the “logic” of his peers that it’s cool. Your son is probably trying to measure up to this little cliques lousy idea of etiquette.

I tell my kids that they can be around anyone in the right measure, but don’t take on their ways. Like a track team it’s inevitable that some of your team members are going to act like jerks often, so you aren’t necessarily going to isolate , but you don’t have to jump into the stupidity with both feet either. Stand your ground.

Sounds like your son is experimenting, so he is kind in one set of circumstances, good, and rude or extremely rude in another, tell him to be better than that.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

+1. It’s a bit strange that the other kid (being a middle schooler) would tell that to his dad. That being said, I would not dismiss your kid’s as being just horsing around. He either thinks he’s cool or he’s trying to assert himself in the group there. That could be a good thing or could lead to being a complete bully if left unchecked either by you or by his peers.

[ltsddd]

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

[NotCranky]

What would Freud say about Yo Mama Jokes.? I think he would say it’s impossible that they are ever merely just for fun. What would Shakespeare say about them?

This is actually a serious question, Freud was very good on the topic of humor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor_in_Freud.

http://usesofhumor.blogspot.com/2008/10/freud-gets-serious-about-jokes.html

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=ltsdd]Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?[/quote]

Mmmm.

This true kind nec. Test is not the speech pattern of normal males normally learn to relate to one another. Navigating actual social dynamics, not theoretical nice ones, is called learning about life.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=Blogstar]What would Freud say about Yo Mama Jokes.? I think he would say it’s impossible that they are ever merely just for fun. What would Shakespeare say about them?

This is actually a serious question, Freud was very good on the topic of humor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor_in_Freud.

http://usesofhumor.blogspot.com/2008/10/freud-gets-serious-about-jokes.html%5B/quote%5D

Yes. Seemingly fun inocuous interaction is of course very serious business.

[NotCranky]

[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=Blogstar]What would Freud say about Yo Mama Jokes.? I think he would say it’s impossible that they are ever merely just for fun. What would Shakespeare say about them?

This is actually a serious question, Freud was very good on the topic of humor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor_in_Freud.

http://usesofhumor.blogspot.com/2008/10/freud-gets-serious-about-jokes.html%5B/quote%5D

Yes. Seemingly fun inocuous interaction is of course very serious business.[/quote]
You have to watch out for the quiet ones too. Especially the quiet ones.

[Doofrat]

Your son’s story doesn’t pass the smell test very well IMHO. So He’s buddy buddy with this guy, they’re horsing around like buddies do which includes:

1) Saying You little bitch (seriously we used to call each other this as a joke, no harm was meant and it was understood)
2) Saying yo-mama jokes to each other (We told off color jokes to each other when we were kids, didn’t go telling the parents about it)

All this is good and fine, but for some reason the other kid tells his dad about him and his “buddies” good natured ribbing.

You see how this doesn’t pass the smell test very well? Middle school guys don’t go home and tell their dad about how their buddies horsed around that day, that makes no sense to me.

[ltsddd]

[quote=scaredyclassic][quote=Blogstar]What would Freud say about Yo Mama Jokes.? I think he would say it’s impossible that they are ever merely just for fun. What would Shakespeare say about them?

This is actually a serious question, Freud was very good on the topic of humor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor_in_Freud.

http://usesofhumor.blogspot.com/2008/10/freud-gets-serious-about-jokes.html%5B/quote%5D

Yes. Seemingly fun inocuous interaction is of course very serious business.[/quote]

Innocuous according to whom? To the one that’s dishing it (most definitely) or to the one at the receiving end (very unlikely). The jokes bothered the kid enough for him to tell his dad about it so you can’t dismiss it as harmless. It did have a negative affect on the other kid and he could have reacted in a physical, violent way.

[bibsoconner]

Feel free to pass this one on to your kid. He sounds like a normal teenager to me.

“Yo mama is so fat that she sat on her iPhone and turned it into an iPad!”

-Dave

P.S. My politically correct disclaimer: Only joking. I have no opinion as to whether or not your mothers are fat or not. I don’t disrespect your mothers nor have I even met them. 🙂

[Doofrat]

[quote=ltsdd][quote=scaredyclassic][quote=Blogstar]What would Freud say about Yo Mama Jokes.? I think he would say it’s impossible that they are ever merely just for fun. What would Shakespeare say about them?

This is actually a serious question, Freud was very good on the topic of humor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor_in_Freud.

http://usesofhumor.blogspot.com/2008/10/freud-gets-serious-about-jokes.html%5B/quote%5D

Yes. Seemingly fun inocuous interaction is of course very serious business.[/quote]

Innocuous according to whom? To the one that’s dishing it (most definitely) or to the one at the receiving end (very unlikely). The jokes bothered the kid enough for him to tell his dad about it so you can’t dismiss it as harmless. It did have a negative affect on the other kid and he could have reacted in a physical, violent way.[/quote]

Exactly. My sister and I were in seventh grade and were being bullied by this eighth grader after being dropped off by the bus every day. This guy was of course a lot bigger than us and it kept escalating.

Middle school logic: I was going to start bringing one of the guns we had around the house with me for protection.

My sister finally told our dad about this guy and my dad had a talk with his dad and it ended that way instead.

You should probably nip this issue in the bud.

[outtamojo]

[quote=doofrat]Your son’s story doesn’t pass the smell test very well IMHO. So He’s buddy buddy with this guy, they’re horsing around like buddies do which includes:

1) Saying You little bitch (seriously we used to call each other this as a joke, no harm was meant and it was understood)
2) Saying yo-mama jokes to each other (We told off color jokes to each other when we were kids, didn’t go telling the parents about it)

All this is good and fine, but for some reason the other kid tells his dad about him and his “buddies” good natured ribbing.

You see how this doesn’t pass the smell test very well? Middle school guys don’t go home and tell their dad about how their buddies horsed around that day, that makes no sense to me.[/quote]

Yeah, all my son talks about to me is what happened at practice- details about his social life we need picks and shovels to dig out. I have accepted that my son may not be telling the complete truth but I am confused too. When my son apologized to the other kid I was expecting to see or hear some residual anger from the other kid but all I saw was a wtf just happened look on his face and nothing incriminating at all in his voice, just a “oh it’s ok.”

[outtamojo]

[quote=bibsoconner]Feel free to pass this one on to your kid. He sounds like a normal teenager to me.

“Yo mama is so fat that she sat on her iPhone and turned it into an iPad!”

-Dave

P.S. My politically correct disclaimer: Only joking. I have no opinion as to whether or not your mothers are fat or not. I don’t disrespect your mothers nor have I even met them. :)[/quote]

While I totally agree with the need for my son to speak more “appropriately, I don’t expect him to say to a kid wandering around ” Hi so-and-so, come sit with us over here, we’ll make you feel warm and welcome. I love your jeans by the way, they make you look really really super.”

[outtamojo]

Thanks everyone for all your opinions – this has been eating me up all weekend.

[treehugger]

Raising kids is scary. We have a really tough time with the youngest (just turned 13), he has what I refer to as “mob mentality”. He is a great kid, very polite, loving, and helpful. However, we have been noticing his behavior around his friends does not necessarily have those same qualities. He has one friend who seems to really bring out the worst, we don’t let that boy come over to our house anymore (the other boy on the surface does not seem bad, but the behavior of ours around this other boy is intolerable). I check the texts and e-mails and saw a series of F-you type texts between the boys and did a reply all text informing them I was going to track down their parents and show them the texts if I ever saw it again. We had a talk with our son, but geez it is just non stop.

I think your boy is totally normal, does not sound like a bully or bullying behavior. From the sounds of the other dad, perhaps there are some deeper insecurities going on at home and he “told” his dad perhaps for a reaction/attention from his dad. A tough one for kids, the breach of trust amongst your peers goes deep; the fine line of what to tell your parents and what not to. We tell our kids we want them to tell us everything, but maybe as protective parents we don’t always have the ability to take a step back and know when to let the kids work it out themselves.

Anyway, I feel for you on this one. Use it as a good opportunity to dialogue with your son.

[scaredyclassic]

[quote=ltsdd][quote=scaredyclassic][quote=Blogstar]What would Freud say about Yo Mama Jokes.? I think he would say it’s impossible that they are ever merely just for fun. What would Shakespeare say about them?

This is actually a serious question, Freud was very good on the topic of humor.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor_in_Freud.

http://usesofhumor.blogspot.com/2008/10/freud-gets-serious-about-jokes.html%5B/quote%5D

Yes. Seemingly fun inocuous interaction is of course very serious business.[/quote]

Innocuous according to whom? To the one that’s dishing it (most definitely) or to the one at the receiving end (very unlikely). The jokes bothered the kid enough for him to tell his dad about it so you can’t dismiss it as harmless. It did have a negative affect on the other kid and he could have reacted in a physical, violent way.[/quote]

Inocuous according to a reasonable middle school male hoping to be accepted by normal male peers so he can have normal relationships with other grown men

Not Inocuous to a little bitch.

More likely than not, son was trying extend friendship in a,peer group. Now the kid is likely to not get such an invitation from those kids at least.

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