Jim Cramer gets Pounded by John Stewart on the Daily Show

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Dave: I used to get a fairly significant ration of shit from our “producers” (sales force) because I would sit and ask them question after question regarding their deals. Willis had a fairly astute policy that required the CFO to chair sales meetings, which used to drive the sales staff nuts, largely because they couldn’t bullshit the accounting and finance guys with their pie-in-the-sky projections.

I so pissed off one of the senior sales guys when I repeatedly told him a deal didn’t “pencil” that he dumped over a thousand #2 pencils in my office during the weekend following my nixing his deal.

I know a lot of guys that worked accounting and finance for Sachs, Stearns and Merrill and I can tell you that they were under incredible pressure to toe the line when it came to production incentives and bonuses. Due diligence and objectivity go right out the nearest window when your ass is on the line and I can remember having shouting matches with my CEO, who was a sales guy himself and a former Bear Stearns trader, as he tried to jam dogshit deals down my throat. These guys would wheedle and cajole and threaten and beg and the volume went up the closer you got to the end of the quarter or (especially) the end of the year. I was pushed to “play ball” and be a “team player” and not some “stick in the mud” accountant.

It wears on you after a while and the lure of the “dark side” beckons. I can remember sitting in a gentlemen’s club in Orange County (Fritz’s on Katella), smoking a Cuban Cohiba, with some 19yo gyrating in my lap and thinking, “I can get used to this!”. The reason I was there? I had approved a particularly thorny deal, but one that did make sense, profitability-wise, and this was my “reward”.

What did Glenn Frey say in his song “Smuggler’s Blues”? “It’s the lure of easy money, it’s got a very strong appeal”.

[davelj]

Allan, that’s hysterical. And sad. And happens every day in almost every large organization around the world to some extent.

I’m betting you’re an INTJ, or maybe an ENTJ. Bullshit does not compute.

I, also, am sensitive to this issue from personal experience. I worked in private equity and M&A for another firm before I left to start my own company several years back. I was so fed up with the crap that I wrote a letter to the two senior partners explaining what I thought we were doing wrong (that is, almost every deal that crossed our desks!). It went over like a turd in a punch bowl. While we “controlled” our portfolio companies, the real gravy was in the fees generated from deals (that is, we rationalized and shoved deals down the companies’ throats in order to earn the fees – well, in my view anyway). Anyhow, I’m quite sure they would have eventually fired me had I not left first, as I was not a Team Player.

But, as they say, living well is the best revenge. The stocks of the three publicly-traded companies that this firm controls (and pillaged via deals) are down between 80% and 90% from their peaks, far worse than their bogeys. So now they’re busy explaining the history of the egg on their faces. While my little company – while not knocking any lights out – is doing fairly well more due to acts of omission (that is, avoiding mistakes) than acts of commission.

I believe it’s called… schadenfreude. Sweet schadenfreude.

But I had to live with looking like an idiot for several years. And that’s professionally painful. Most folks can’t take it. So they join the Dark Side… which is safe and conventional. Which brings us back to misalignment of incentives…

[davelj]

Allan, that’s hysterical. And sad. And happens every day in almost every large organization around the world to some extent.

I’m betting you’re an INTJ, or maybe an ENTJ. Bullshit does not compute.

I, also, am sensitive to this issue from personal experience. I worked in private equity and M&A for another firm before I left to start my own company several years back. I was so fed up with the crap that I wrote a letter to the two senior partners explaining what I thought we were doing wrong (that is, almost every deal that crossed our desks!). It went over like a turd in a punch bowl. While we “controlled” our portfolio companies, the real gravy was in the fees generated from deals (that is, we rationalized and shoved deals down the companies’ throats in order to earn the fees – well, in my view anyway). Anyhow, I’m quite sure they would have eventually fired me had I not left first, as I was not a Team Player.

But, as they say, living well is the best revenge. The stocks of the three publicly-traded companies that this firm controls (and pillaged via deals) are down between 80% and 90% from their peaks, far worse than their bogeys. So now they’re busy explaining the history of the egg on their faces. While my little company – while not knocking any lights out – is doing fairly well more due to acts of omission (that is, avoiding mistakes) than acts of commission.

I believe it’s called… schadenfreude. Sweet schadenfreude.

But I had to live with looking like an idiot for several years. And that’s professionally painful. Most folks can’t take it. So they join the Dark Side… which is safe and conventional. Which brings us back to misalignment of incentives…

[davelj]

Allan, that’s hysterical. And sad. And happens every day in almost every large organization around the world to some extent.

I’m betting you’re an INTJ, or maybe an ENTJ. Bullshit does not compute.

I, also, am sensitive to this issue from personal experience. I worked in private equity and M&A for another firm before I left to start my own company several years back. I was so fed up with the crap that I wrote a letter to the two senior partners explaining what I thought we were doing wrong (that is, almost every deal that crossed our desks!). It went over like a turd in a punch bowl. While we “controlled” our portfolio companies, the real gravy was in the fees generated from deals (that is, we rationalized and shoved deals down the companies’ throats in order to earn the fees – well, in my view anyway). Anyhow, I’m quite sure they would have eventually fired me had I not left first, as I was not a Team Player.

But, as they say, living well is the best revenge. The stocks of the three publicly-traded companies that this firm controls (and pillaged via deals) are down between 80% and 90% from their peaks, far worse than their bogeys. So now they’re busy explaining the history of the egg on their faces. While my little company – while not knocking any lights out – is doing fairly well more due to acts of omission (that is, avoiding mistakes) than acts of commission.

I believe it’s called… schadenfreude. Sweet schadenfreude.

But I had to live with looking like an idiot for several years. And that’s professionally painful. Most folks can’t take it. So they join the Dark Side… which is safe and conventional. Which brings us back to misalignment of incentives…

[davelj]

Allan, that’s hysterical. And sad. And happens every day in almost every large organization around the world to some extent.

I’m betting you’re an INTJ, or maybe an ENTJ. Bullshit does not compute.

I, also, am sensitive to this issue from personal experience. I worked in private equity and M&A for another firm before I left to start my own company several years back. I was so fed up with the crap that I wrote a letter to the two senior partners explaining what I thought we were doing wrong (that is, almost every deal that crossed our desks!). It went over like a turd in a punch bowl. While we “controlled” our portfolio companies, the real gravy was in the fees generated from deals (that is, we rationalized and shoved deals down the companies’ throats in order to earn the fees – well, in my view anyway). Anyhow, I’m quite sure they would have eventually fired me had I not left first, as I was not a Team Player.

But, as they say, living well is the best revenge. The stocks of the three publicly-traded companies that this firm controls (and pillaged via deals) are down between 80% and 90% from their peaks, far worse than their bogeys. So now they’re busy explaining the history of the egg on their faces. While my little company – while not knocking any lights out – is doing fairly well more due to acts of omission (that is, avoiding mistakes) than acts of commission.

I believe it’s called… schadenfreude. Sweet schadenfreude.

But I had to live with looking like an idiot for several years. And that’s professionally painful. Most folks can’t take it. So they join the Dark Side… which is safe and conventional. Which brings us back to misalignment of incentives…

[davelj]

Allan, that’s hysterical. And sad. And happens every day in almost every large organization around the world to some extent.

I’m betting you’re an INTJ, or maybe an ENTJ. Bullshit does not compute.

I, also, am sensitive to this issue from personal experience. I worked in private equity and M&A for another firm before I left to start my own company several years back. I was so fed up with the crap that I wrote a letter to the two senior partners explaining what I thought we were doing wrong (that is, almost every deal that crossed our desks!). It went over like a turd in a punch bowl. While we “controlled” our portfolio companies, the real gravy was in the fees generated from deals (that is, we rationalized and shoved deals down the companies’ throats in order to earn the fees – well, in my view anyway). Anyhow, I’m quite sure they would have eventually fired me had I not left first, as I was not a Team Player.

But, as they say, living well is the best revenge. The stocks of the three publicly-traded companies that this firm controls (and pillaged via deals) are down between 80% and 90% from their peaks, far worse than their bogeys. So now they’re busy explaining the history of the egg on their faces. While my little company – while not knocking any lights out – is doing fairly well more due to acts of omission (that is, avoiding mistakes) than acts of commission.

I believe it’s called… schadenfreude. Sweet schadenfreude.

But I had to live with looking like an idiot for several years. And that’s professionally painful. Most folks can’t take it. So they join the Dark Side… which is safe and conventional. Which brings us back to misalignment of incentives…

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Dave: Good call. I’m an ENTJ on the MBTI, although my wife says the better acronym is PRICK.

I bailed the corporate life in 1997 and never looked back. I went solo with my own consulting practice (management, finance and accounting) and wound up buying a construction company in distress, which I’ve now built into a blast engineering and construction firm. It’s been 12 years of back breaking work and has been pretty hair raising at times, but I agree with you, it’s far, far better than the alternative and I wouldn’t change things at all.

I know the looking like a idiot part, believe me. I’ve gotten the skeptical looks from colleagues, friends and family, especially after turning down a cushy corporate job when times were tough and money was tight and sticking to my guns really did make me feel like the Lone Ranger and not in a good way.

But I’m doing my thing and my way and I don’t have to look at some shit for brains corporate apparatchik with a friendly smile when I’d rather nail him in the head with that overpriced corporate motivator paperweight. You know, the one about “Teamwork” or “Adversity” or whatever the hell cloying, insipid cliche is supposed to divert our attention from the mind-numbingly stupid cube farm existence we now inhabit.

Sorry. Let me turn that rant off for you. I’ll tell you one thing, Dave, I think Old Blue Eyes hit the nail on the head: “The record shows I took the blows, but I did it my way!”. Screw the rest of those cowards.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Dave: Good call. I’m an ENTJ on the MBTI, although my wife says the better acronym is PRICK.

I bailed the corporate life in 1997 and never looked back. I went solo with my own consulting practice (management, finance and accounting) and wound up buying a construction company in distress, which I’ve now built into a blast engineering and construction firm. It’s been 12 years of back breaking work and has been pretty hair raising at times, but I agree with you, it’s far, far better than the alternative and I wouldn’t change things at all.

I know the looking like a idiot part, believe me. I’ve gotten the skeptical looks from colleagues, friends and family, especially after turning down a cushy corporate job when times were tough and money was tight and sticking to my guns really did make me feel like the Lone Ranger and not in a good way.

But I’m doing my thing and my way and I don’t have to look at some shit for brains corporate apparatchik with a friendly smile when I’d rather nail him in the head with that overpriced corporate motivator paperweight. You know, the one about “Teamwork” or “Adversity” or whatever the hell cloying, insipid cliche is supposed to divert our attention from the mind-numbingly stupid cube farm existence we now inhabit.

Sorry. Let me turn that rant off for you. I’ll tell you one thing, Dave, I think Old Blue Eyes hit the nail on the head: “The record shows I took the blows, but I did it my way!”. Screw the rest of those cowards.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Dave: Good call. I’m an ENTJ on the MBTI, although my wife says the better acronym is PRICK.

I bailed the corporate life in 1997 and never looked back. I went solo with my own consulting practice (management, finance and accounting) and wound up buying a construction company in distress, which I’ve now built into a blast engineering and construction firm. It’s been 12 years of back breaking work and has been pretty hair raising at times, but I agree with you, it’s far, far better than the alternative and I wouldn’t change things at all.

I know the looking like a idiot part, believe me. I’ve gotten the skeptical looks from colleagues, friends and family, especially after turning down a cushy corporate job when times were tough and money was tight and sticking to my guns really did make me feel like the Lone Ranger and not in a good way.

But I’m doing my thing and my way and I don’t have to look at some shit for brains corporate apparatchik with a friendly smile when I’d rather nail him in the head with that overpriced corporate motivator paperweight. You know, the one about “Teamwork” or “Adversity” or whatever the hell cloying, insipid cliche is supposed to divert our attention from the mind-numbingly stupid cube farm existence we now inhabit.

Sorry. Let me turn that rant off for you. I’ll tell you one thing, Dave, I think Old Blue Eyes hit the nail on the head: “The record shows I took the blows, but I did it my way!”. Screw the rest of those cowards.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Dave: Good call. I’m an ENTJ on the MBTI, although my wife says the better acronym is PRICK.

I bailed the corporate life in 1997 and never looked back. I went solo with my own consulting practice (management, finance and accounting) and wound up buying a construction company in distress, which I’ve now built into a blast engineering and construction firm. It’s been 12 years of back breaking work and has been pretty hair raising at times, but I agree with you, it’s far, far better than the alternative and I wouldn’t change things at all.

I know the looking like a idiot part, believe me. I’ve gotten the skeptical looks from colleagues, friends and family, especially after turning down a cushy corporate job when times were tough and money was tight and sticking to my guns really did make me feel like the Lone Ranger and not in a good way.

But I’m doing my thing and my way and I don’t have to look at some shit for brains corporate apparatchik with a friendly smile when I’d rather nail him in the head with that overpriced corporate motivator paperweight. You know, the one about “Teamwork” or “Adversity” or whatever the hell cloying, insipid cliche is supposed to divert our attention from the mind-numbingly stupid cube farm existence we now inhabit.

Sorry. Let me turn that rant off for you. I’ll tell you one thing, Dave, I think Old Blue Eyes hit the nail on the head: “The record shows I took the blows, but I did it my way!”. Screw the rest of those cowards.

[Allan from Fallbrook]

Dave: Good call. I’m an ENTJ on the MBTI, although my wife says the better acronym is PRICK.

I bailed the corporate life in 1997 and never looked back. I went solo with my own consulting practice (management, finance and accounting) and wound up buying a construction company in distress, which I’ve now built into a blast engineering and construction firm. It’s been 12 years of back breaking work and has been pretty hair raising at times, but I agree with you, it’s far, far better than the alternative and I wouldn’t change things at all.

I know the looking like a idiot part, believe me. I’ve gotten the skeptical looks from colleagues, friends and family, especially after turning down a cushy corporate job when times were tough and money was tight and sticking to my guns really did make me feel like the Lone Ranger and not in a good way.

But I’m doing my thing and my way and I don’t have to look at some shit for brains corporate apparatchik with a friendly smile when I’d rather nail him in the head with that overpriced corporate motivator paperweight. You know, the one about “Teamwork” or “Adversity” or whatever the hell cloying, insipid cliche is supposed to divert our attention from the mind-numbingly stupid cube farm existence we now inhabit.

Sorry. Let me turn that rant off for you. I’ll tell you one thing, Dave, I think Old Blue Eyes hit the nail on the head: “The record shows I took the blows, but I did it my way!”. Screw the rest of those cowards.

[aldante]

I just love how Stewart points out the farce of the “perma-bulls” and their true motives. I think that sentiment applies to several on this site as well……no names mentioned sd*******.

[aldante]

I just love how Stewart points out the farce of the “perma-bulls” and their true motives. I think that sentiment applies to several on this site as well……no names mentioned sd*******.

[aldante]

I just love how Stewart points out the farce of the “perma-bulls” and their true motives. I think that sentiment applies to several on this site as well……no names mentioned sd*******.

[aldante]

I just love how Stewart points out the farce of the “perma-bulls” and their true motives. I think that sentiment applies to several on this site as well……no names mentioned sd*******.

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