Help… Should we sell, or stay???

[waterboy]

Sounds like you really want to test the market so list it just under $1.1M and don’t stress if nobody wants it for that amount or higher as you really don’t have to sell. If you do get the price now you have $600k cash to find your next home.

I would still take out a 20% down 30yr loan on it if you can get 5% or less and just pay extra principal each month.

[XBoxBoy]

[quote=Homeschool2Boys]Our marriage and our kids are happy, so I think all I need to change is MY situation, and somehow reduce our expenses, by either selling or refinancing.[/quote]

Homey,

Your problem is not your house, nor is it your finances. Your problem is that you have set too high of expectations of yourself. Go back and reread TemeculaGuy’s post, and then read it again, and again, until it manages to sink in. Then do a serious reality check.

From what you say, making 270k a year, mortgage of 62k a year, you should still have plenty of money to relax and enjoy life. Sure 100k is gonna go to taxes, but that’s still 100k left over. If you cut your hours, that will be less, but hey, why not follow TG’s advice and refi to a 30yr?

The more I reread this thread and your posts, I can’t stress to you that I personally think that selling your house would be a mistake. The disruption and transaction costs are much higher than you might think. You’d have to rent for several years if not longer, maybe moving a couple times. Things your kids and wife might not deal with well. And selling your house will solve nothing, because the problem is not your house, or your finances, the problem is that you haven’t found the calmness inside you to relax and enjoy your life. How to do that? I’m not so sure I have a ready answer, but let’s at least identify the real problem.

Just my opinion mind you, but hope you find it helpful.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

[quote=Homeschool2Boys]Our marriage and our kids are happy, so I think all I need to change is MY situation, and somehow reduce our expenses, by either selling or refinancing.[/quote]

Homey,

Your problem is not your house, nor is it your finances. Your problem is that you have set too high of expectations of yourself. Go back and reread TemeculaGuy’s post, and then read it again, and again, until it manages to sink in. Then do a serious reality check.

From what you say, making 270k a year, mortgage of 62k a year, you should still have plenty of money to relax and enjoy life. Sure 100k is gonna go to taxes, but that’s still 100k left over. If you cut your hours, that will be less, but hey, why not follow TG’s advice and refi to a 30yr?

The more I reread this thread and your posts, I can’t stress to you that I personally think that selling your house would be a mistake. The disruption and transaction costs are much higher than you might think. You’d have to rent for several years if not longer, maybe moving a couple times. Things your kids and wife might not deal with well. And selling your house will solve nothing, because the problem is not your house, or your finances, the problem is that you haven’t found the calmness inside you to relax and enjoy your life. How to do that? I’m not so sure I have a ready answer, but let’s at least identify the real problem.

Just my opinion mind you, but hope you find it helpful.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

[quote=Homeschool2Boys]Our marriage and our kids are happy, so I think all I need to change is MY situation, and somehow reduce our expenses, by either selling or refinancing.[/quote]

Homey,

Your problem is not your house, nor is it your finances. Your problem is that you have set too high of expectations of yourself. Go back and reread TemeculaGuy’s post, and then read it again, and again, until it manages to sink in. Then do a serious reality check.

From what you say, making 270k a year, mortgage of 62k a year, you should still have plenty of money to relax and enjoy life. Sure 100k is gonna go to taxes, but that’s still 100k left over. If you cut your hours, that will be less, but hey, why not follow TG’s advice and refi to a 30yr?

The more I reread this thread and your posts, I can’t stress to you that I personally think that selling your house would be a mistake. The disruption and transaction costs are much higher than you might think. You’d have to rent for several years if not longer, maybe moving a couple times. Things your kids and wife might not deal with well. And selling your house will solve nothing, because the problem is not your house, or your finances, the problem is that you haven’t found the calmness inside you to relax and enjoy your life. How to do that? I’m not so sure I have a ready answer, but let’s at least identify the real problem.

Just my opinion mind you, but hope you find it helpful.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

[quote=Homeschool2Boys]Our marriage and our kids are happy, so I think all I need to change is MY situation, and somehow reduce our expenses, by either selling or refinancing.[/quote]

Homey,

Your problem is not your house, nor is it your finances. Your problem is that you have set too high of expectations of yourself. Go back and reread TemeculaGuy’s post, and then read it again, and again, until it manages to sink in. Then do a serious reality check.

From what you say, making 270k a year, mortgage of 62k a year, you should still have plenty of money to relax and enjoy life. Sure 100k is gonna go to taxes, but that’s still 100k left over. If you cut your hours, that will be less, but hey, why not follow TG’s advice and refi to a 30yr?

The more I reread this thread and your posts, I can’t stress to you that I personally think that selling your house would be a mistake. The disruption and transaction costs are much higher than you might think. You’d have to rent for several years if not longer, maybe moving a couple times. Things your kids and wife might not deal with well. And selling your house will solve nothing, because the problem is not your house, or your finances, the problem is that you haven’t found the calmness inside you to relax and enjoy your life. How to do that? I’m not so sure I have a ready answer, but let’s at least identify the real problem.

Just my opinion mind you, but hope you find it helpful.

XBoxBoy

[XBoxBoy]

[quote=Homeschool2Boys]Our marriage and our kids are happy, so I think all I need to change is MY situation, and somehow reduce our expenses, by either selling or refinancing.[/quote]

Homey,

Your problem is not your house, nor is it your finances. Your problem is that you have set too high of expectations of yourself. Go back and reread TemeculaGuy’s post, and then read it again, and again, until it manages to sink in. Then do a serious reality check.

From what you say, making 270k a year, mortgage of 62k a year, you should still have plenty of money to relax and enjoy life. Sure 100k is gonna go to taxes, but that’s still 100k left over. If you cut your hours, that will be less, but hey, why not follow TG’s advice and refi to a 30yr?

The more I reread this thread and your posts, I can’t stress to you that I personally think that selling your house would be a mistake. The disruption and transaction costs are much higher than you might think. You’d have to rent for several years if not longer, maybe moving a couple times. Things your kids and wife might not deal with well. And selling your house will solve nothing, because the problem is not your house, or your finances, the problem is that you haven’t found the calmness inside you to relax and enjoy your life. How to do that? I’m not so sure I have a ready answer, but let’s at least identify the real problem.

Just my opinion mind you, but hope you find it helpful.

XBoxBoy

[JustLurking]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that your wife would probably prefer to have you alive in 9 years than to have the mortgage paid off. You might want to check with her on that.

If your family is happy in your current home, then refinance to a nice 30 year mortgage and give yourself the financial cushion you need to allow yourself to cut back at work. Allow yourself to enjoy your life and your family while your kids are young. You will never get this time back.

[JustLurking]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that your wife would probably prefer to have you alive in 9 years than to have the mortgage paid off. You might want to check with her on that.

If your family is happy in your current home, then refinance to a nice 30 year mortgage and give yourself the financial cushion you need to allow yourself to cut back at work. Allow yourself to enjoy your life and your family while your kids are young. You will never get this time back.

[JustLurking]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that your wife would probably prefer to have you alive in 9 years than to have the mortgage paid off. You might want to check with her on that.

If your family is happy in your current home, then refinance to a nice 30 year mortgage and give yourself the financial cushion you need to allow yourself to cut back at work. Allow yourself to enjoy your life and your family while your kids are young. You will never get this time back.

[JustLurking]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that your wife would probably prefer to have you alive in 9 years than to have the mortgage paid off. You might want to check with her on that.

If your family is happy in your current home, then refinance to a nice 30 year mortgage and give yourself the financial cushion you need to allow yourself to cut back at work. Allow yourself to enjoy your life and your family while your kids are young. You will never get this time back.

[JustLurking]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that your wife would probably prefer to have you alive in 9 years than to have the mortgage paid off. You might want to check with her on that.

If your family is happy in your current home, then refinance to a nice 30 year mortgage and give yourself the financial cushion you need to allow yourself to cut back at work. Allow yourself to enjoy your life and your family while your kids are young. You will never get this time back.

[Coronita]

With all due respect, you’re asking a bunch of bloggers for a personal decision. It seems pretty evident that based on your description of your health, the last thing you need is more stress and additional work hours.

My 2cents…

From what I see, I don’t think you are in bad financial shape. Doesn’t sound like you can just quit and retire, but nevertheless you probably can maintain a relatively good income by reducing your hours. There’s nothing wrong with downsizing.

The question of whether home prices will fall or go up is irrelevant for your particular situation, or how much you can possibly squeeze out of your home selling now or later etc. If it makes your expenses more manageable and allows you to work less so you have more time to take care of your health so you can live logner, so be it. Better working at 50% capacity than dead working at 0% capacity.

If your’re really worried about kealing over soon and you haven’ done so already, consider buying life insurance while you still can….To be frank (no sugar coating), it’s probably not going to be cheap for you, given your bloodpressure…. but it’s a small price to pay if something DID unexpectedly happen. And it will definitely be cheaper now than when you get older….Perhaps keep it simple, termed life insurance policy. There are other products (variable annuity/whole life,etc) that “blend” insurance with an “investment component…” However, unless you a financial wizard and/or have the time and patience to understand how those plans work, you probably want to stay away from those insurance+investment packages. There are tax advantages for those plans, but most of those advantages are for the really really rich who want to shelter income from inheritance taxes etc. Although it probably doesn’t apply to you, if you were a salaried employee, it’s probably a good idea to buy life insurance independent from what your employer will offer you, simply because you probably won’t work with the same employer or working forever…unless you are sure what your employer offers can carry forward *without increased premiums* even after you are no longer their employees….The worst thing you could do is to buy a life insurance policy from an employer, work for 10 years,get laidoff at 50, and then discover that for you to continue your life insurance policy, you need to pay $XXXX more due to your older age…….Buy as much as you can while people are still willing to underwrite you, something $1million+…No joke…Especially if you are a single income family and have kids that need to go to college and aren’t counting on an inheritance from your relatives… I regret that I didn’t when I could.

While I support the notion of a stay at home parent, you’re wife *might* want to consider taking up some light job/profession when the kids start getting older and when they can take care of themselves (highschool age/college)… not because you folks sound like you need the money…But if something *did* happen to you, the last thing you would want your wife to deal is not being able to take care of herself financially or her family from the financial aspects and having to depend on another person for financial support. Also, if she is involved with work (especially is if she finds something she enjoys doing), it can occupy her time so as not to feel as lonely when the kids grow up and you folks are empty nests. Maybe you can open a private practice, and have her help you. Don’t know… you seem have more flexibility than a lot of salaried folks. There is an added bonus that if she works for a big company, their is health insurance at a nominal cost to you, irrespective of you or your wife’s health condition.

Also, look on the bright side… You have high blood pressure. You have some time to take care of it. You’re timeclock isn’t quite as short as someone that has cancer or something like that is immediately malignant that requires removal of damaged organs/etc.

[Coronita]

With all due respect, you’re asking a bunch of bloggers for a personal decision. It seems pretty evident that based on your description of your health, the last thing you need is more stress and additional work hours.

My 2cents…

From what I see, I don’t think you are in bad financial shape. Doesn’t sound like you can just quit and retire, but nevertheless you probably can maintain a relatively good income by reducing your hours. There’s nothing wrong with downsizing.

The question of whether home prices will fall or go up is irrelevant for your particular situation, or how much you can possibly squeeze out of your home selling now or later etc. If it makes your expenses more manageable and allows you to work less so you have more time to take care of your health so you can live logner, so be it. Better working at 50% capacity than dead working at 0% capacity.

If your’re really worried about kealing over soon and you haven’ done so already, consider buying life insurance while you still can….To be frank (no sugar coating), it’s probably not going to be cheap for you, given your bloodpressure…. but it’s a small price to pay if something DID unexpectedly happen. And it will definitely be cheaper now than when you get older….Perhaps keep it simple, termed life insurance policy. There are other products (variable annuity/whole life,etc) that “blend” insurance with an “investment component…” However, unless you a financial wizard and/or have the time and patience to understand how those plans work, you probably want to stay away from those insurance+investment packages. There are tax advantages for those plans, but most of those advantages are for the really really rich who want to shelter income from inheritance taxes etc. Although it probably doesn’t apply to you, if you were a salaried employee, it’s probably a good idea to buy life insurance independent from what your employer will offer you, simply because you probably won’t work with the same employer or working forever…unless you are sure what your employer offers can carry forward *without increased premiums* even after you are no longer their employees….The worst thing you could do is to buy a life insurance policy from an employer, work for 10 years,get laidoff at 50, and then discover that for you to continue your life insurance policy, you need to pay $XXXX more due to your older age…….Buy as much as you can while people are still willing to underwrite you, something $1million+…No joke…Especially if you are a single income family and have kids that need to go to college and aren’t counting on an inheritance from your relatives… I regret that I didn’t when I could.

While I support the notion of a stay at home parent, you’re wife *might* want to consider taking up some light job/profession when the kids start getting older and when they can take care of themselves (highschool age/college)… not because you folks sound like you need the money…But if something *did* happen to you, the last thing you would want your wife to deal is not being able to take care of herself financially or her family from the financial aspects and having to depend on another person for financial support. Also, if she is involved with work (especially is if she finds something she enjoys doing), it can occupy her time so as not to feel as lonely when the kids grow up and you folks are empty nests. Maybe you can open a private practice, and have her help you. Don’t know… you seem have more flexibility than a lot of salaried folks. There is an added bonus that if she works for a big company, their is health insurance at a nominal cost to you, irrespective of you or your wife’s health condition.

Also, look on the bright side… You have high blood pressure. You have some time to take care of it. You’re timeclock isn’t quite as short as someone that has cancer or something like that is immediately malignant that requires removal of damaged organs/etc.

[Coronita]

With all due respect, you’re asking a bunch of bloggers for a personal decision. It seems pretty evident that based on your description of your health, the last thing you need is more stress and additional work hours.

My 2cents…

From what I see, I don’t think you are in bad financial shape. Doesn’t sound like you can just quit and retire, but nevertheless you probably can maintain a relatively good income by reducing your hours. There’s nothing wrong with downsizing.

The question of whether home prices will fall or go up is irrelevant for your particular situation, or how much you can possibly squeeze out of your home selling now or later etc. If it makes your expenses more manageable and allows you to work less so you have more time to take care of your health so you can live logner, so be it. Better working at 50% capacity than dead working at 0% capacity.

If your’re really worried about kealing over soon and you haven’ done so already, consider buying life insurance while you still can….To be frank (no sugar coating), it’s probably not going to be cheap for you, given your bloodpressure…. but it’s a small price to pay if something DID unexpectedly happen. And it will definitely be cheaper now than when you get older….Perhaps keep it simple, termed life insurance policy. There are other products (variable annuity/whole life,etc) that “blend” insurance with an “investment component…” However, unless you a financial wizard and/or have the time and patience to understand how those plans work, you probably want to stay away from those insurance+investment packages. There are tax advantages for those plans, but most of those advantages are for the really really rich who want to shelter income from inheritance taxes etc. Although it probably doesn’t apply to you, if you were a salaried employee, it’s probably a good idea to buy life insurance independent from what your employer will offer you, simply because you probably won’t work with the same employer or working forever…unless you are sure what your employer offers can carry forward *without increased premiums* even after you are no longer their employees….The worst thing you could do is to buy a life insurance policy from an employer, work for 10 years,get laidoff at 50, and then discover that for you to continue your life insurance policy, you need to pay $XXXX more due to your older age…….Buy as much as you can while people are still willing to underwrite you, something $1million+…No joke…Especially if you are a single income family and have kids that need to go to college and aren’t counting on an inheritance from your relatives… I regret that I didn’t when I could.

While I support the notion of a stay at home parent, you’re wife *might* want to consider taking up some light job/profession when the kids start getting older and when they can take care of themselves (highschool age/college)… not because you folks sound like you need the money…But if something *did* happen to you, the last thing you would want your wife to deal is not being able to take care of herself financially or her family from the financial aspects and having to depend on another person for financial support. Also, if she is involved with work (especially is if she finds something she enjoys doing), it can occupy her time so as not to feel as lonely when the kids grow up and you folks are empty nests. Maybe you can open a private practice, and have her help you. Don’t know… you seem have more flexibility than a lot of salaried folks. There is an added bonus that if she works for a big company, their is health insurance at a nominal cost to you, irrespective of you or your wife’s health condition.

Also, look on the bright side… You have high blood pressure. You have some time to take care of it. You’re timeclock isn’t quite as short as someone that has cancer or something like that is immediately malignant that requires removal of damaged organs/etc.

[Coronita]

With all due respect, you’re asking a bunch of bloggers for a personal decision. It seems pretty evident that based on your description of your health, the last thing you need is more stress and additional work hours.

My 2cents…

From what I see, I don’t think you are in bad financial shape. Doesn’t sound like you can just quit and retire, but nevertheless you probably can maintain a relatively good income by reducing your hours. There’s nothing wrong with downsizing.

The question of whether home prices will fall or go up is irrelevant for your particular situation, or how much you can possibly squeeze out of your home selling now or later etc. If it makes your expenses more manageable and allows you to work less so you have more time to take care of your health so you can live logner, so be it. Better working at 50% capacity than dead working at 0% capacity.

If your’re really worried about kealing over soon and you haven’ done so already, consider buying life insurance while you still can….To be frank (no sugar coating), it’s probably not going to be cheap for you, given your bloodpressure…. but it’s a small price to pay if something DID unexpectedly happen. And it will definitely be cheaper now than when you get older….Perhaps keep it simple, termed life insurance policy. There are other products (variable annuity/whole life,etc) that “blend” insurance with an “investment component…” However, unless you a financial wizard and/or have the time and patience to understand how those plans work, you probably want to stay away from those insurance+investment packages. There are tax advantages for those plans, but most of those advantages are for the really really rich who want to shelter income from inheritance taxes etc. Although it probably doesn’t apply to you, if you were a salaried employee, it’s probably a good idea to buy life insurance independent from what your employer will offer you, simply because you probably won’t work with the same employer or working forever…unless you are sure what your employer offers can carry forward *without increased premiums* even after you are no longer their employees….The worst thing you could do is to buy a life insurance policy from an employer, work for 10 years,get laidoff at 50, and then discover that for you to continue your life insurance policy, you need to pay $XXXX more due to your older age…….Buy as much as you can while people are still willing to underwrite you, something $1million+…No joke…Especially if you are a single income family and have kids that need to go to college and aren’t counting on an inheritance from your relatives… I regret that I didn’t when I could.

While I support the notion of a stay at home parent, you’re wife *might* want to consider taking up some light job/profession when the kids start getting older and when they can take care of themselves (highschool age/college)… not because you folks sound like you need the money…But if something *did* happen to you, the last thing you would want your wife to deal is not being able to take care of herself financially or her family from the financial aspects and having to depend on another person for financial support. Also, if she is involved with work (especially is if she finds something she enjoys doing), it can occupy her time so as not to feel as lonely when the kids grow up and you folks are empty nests. Maybe you can open a private practice, and have her help you. Don’t know… you seem have more flexibility than a lot of salaried folks. There is an added bonus that if she works for a big company, their is health insurance at a nominal cost to you, irrespective of you or your wife’s health condition.

Also, look on the bright side… You have high blood pressure. You have some time to take care of it. You’re timeclock isn’t quite as short as someone that has cancer or something like that is immediately malignant that requires removal of damaged organs/etc.

[Author]

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