Help… Should we sell, or stay???

[CA renter]

Navydoc wrote:

The reason is the San Diego real estate market is no longer relevant to me. Looks like I’m being sent to Bethesda MD in July. It’s not so bad though, $600k buys about 4000 sf on 2-3 acres. Have to buy a snow shovel again…..
———————–

Good luck with your move! 🙂

[CA renter]

H2B,

You and your wife deserve a lot of credit for the sacrifices you both are making for the benefit of your children. There is a lot of misinformation out there about homeschooling, and you know that you’re doing the right thing for your kids. Anyone who thinks a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t work has never done it before…and I’d bet good money on that. We also homeschool, and our kids have excelled socially and academically.

Ocrenter is right about a second income not really amounting to much if it’s not significantly over six figures. After taxes, daycare, auto expenses (gas, insuranace, maintenance and accelerated car purchases), clothing, food (you’ll eat out more), etc. it’s really not worth it even from a purely financial perspective.

There were so many good comments here, and I agree that the pressure is coming from within yourself.

IMHO, kids do not need to go to elite colleges. If they excel in a particular area, many Ivy League schools will offer full scolarships and other financial assistance, so that’s one thing to consider. Other than that, the kids can go to local colleges (J.C. to state university) and work on campus where they can earn extra money and often qualify for discounts on tuition and books.

You do not need to have your house paid off before the kids go to college. Hopefully, it can be paid off before you retire. IMHO, your retirement should take priority over college savings. I know that sounds harsh, but they will have multiple options while you will not; and you will not have the opportunity for a “do-over” once you’re near retirement age.

You are trying to do too much at once (start side businesses, pay off large debts, save for college, save for retirement, pay off house early) and it will obviously affect your health. Slow down, simplify, and lower your standards for yourself. Realize that you cannot control everything, and let life just “happen” while making more **flexible** plans.

I’d say your best options would be:

1. Sell the home and buy a much less expensive one. Save the cash left over for your retirement and start saving for college from your income.

2. Sell your home and rent locally or look at different areas of the country that have a lower cost of living.

3. Refinance your home at these ultra-low rates for 30 years. Make sure there are no pre-payment penalties, and you can use any “extra” money to accelerate principal payments. This way, you can still pay it off early IF that works for you, but you also have the flexibility to pay over time and enjoy life more.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, and please try to find more time to relax and enjoy your family.

Happy New Year!

[CA renter]

H2B,

You and your wife deserve a lot of credit for the sacrifices you both are making for the benefit of your children. There is a lot of misinformation out there about homeschooling, and you know that you’re doing the right thing for your kids. Anyone who thinks a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t work has never done it before…and I’d bet good money on that. We also homeschool, and our kids have excelled socially and academically.

Ocrenter is right about a second income not really amounting to much if it’s not significantly over six figures. After taxes, daycare, auto expenses (gas, insuranace, maintenance and accelerated car purchases), clothing, food (you’ll eat out more), etc. it’s really not worth it even from a purely financial perspective.

There were so many good comments here, and I agree that the pressure is coming from within yourself.

IMHO, kids do not need to go to elite colleges. If they excel in a particular area, many Ivy League schools will offer full scolarships and other financial assistance, so that’s one thing to consider. Other than that, the kids can go to local colleges (J.C. to state university) and work on campus where they can earn extra money and often qualify for discounts on tuition and books.

You do not need to have your house paid off before the kids go to college. Hopefully, it can be paid off before you retire. IMHO, your retirement should take priority over college savings. I know that sounds harsh, but they will have multiple options while you will not; and you will not have the opportunity for a “do-over” once you’re near retirement age.

You are trying to do too much at once (start side businesses, pay off large debts, save for college, save for retirement, pay off house early) and it will obviously affect your health. Slow down, simplify, and lower your standards for yourself. Realize that you cannot control everything, and let life just “happen” while making more **flexible** plans.

I’d say your best options would be:

1. Sell the home and buy a much less expensive one. Save the cash left over for your retirement and start saving for college from your income.

2. Sell your home and rent locally or look at different areas of the country that have a lower cost of living.

3. Refinance your home at these ultra-low rates for 30 years. Make sure there are no pre-payment penalties, and you can use any “extra” money to accelerate principal payments. This way, you can still pay it off early IF that works for you, but you also have the flexibility to pay over time and enjoy life more.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, and please try to find more time to relax and enjoy your family.

Happy New Year!

[CA renter]

H2B,

You and your wife deserve a lot of credit for the sacrifices you both are making for the benefit of your children. There is a lot of misinformation out there about homeschooling, and you know that you’re doing the right thing for your kids. Anyone who thinks a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t work has never done it before…and I’d bet good money on that. We also homeschool, and our kids have excelled socially and academically.

Ocrenter is right about a second income not really amounting to much if it’s not significantly over six figures. After taxes, daycare, auto expenses (gas, insuranace, maintenance and accelerated car purchases), clothing, food (you’ll eat out more), etc. it’s really not worth it even from a purely financial perspective.

There were so many good comments here, and I agree that the pressure is coming from within yourself.

IMHO, kids do not need to go to elite colleges. If they excel in a particular area, many Ivy League schools will offer full scolarships and other financial assistance, so that’s one thing to consider. Other than that, the kids can go to local colleges (J.C. to state university) and work on campus where they can earn extra money and often qualify for discounts on tuition and books.

You do not need to have your house paid off before the kids go to college. Hopefully, it can be paid off before you retire. IMHO, your retirement should take priority over college savings. I know that sounds harsh, but they will have multiple options while you will not; and you will not have the opportunity for a “do-over” once you’re near retirement age.

You are trying to do too much at once (start side businesses, pay off large debts, save for college, save for retirement, pay off house early) and it will obviously affect your health. Slow down, simplify, and lower your standards for yourself. Realize that you cannot control everything, and let life just “happen” while making more **flexible** plans.

I’d say your best options would be:

1. Sell the home and buy a much less expensive one. Save the cash left over for your retirement and start saving for college from your income.

2. Sell your home and rent locally or look at different areas of the country that have a lower cost of living.

3. Refinance your home at these ultra-low rates for 30 years. Make sure there are no pre-payment penalties, and you can use any “extra” money to accelerate principal payments. This way, you can still pay it off early IF that works for you, but you also have the flexibility to pay over time and enjoy life more.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, and please try to find more time to relax and enjoy your family.

Happy New Year!

[CA renter]

H2B,

You and your wife deserve a lot of credit for the sacrifices you both are making for the benefit of your children. There is a lot of misinformation out there about homeschooling, and you know that you’re doing the right thing for your kids. Anyone who thinks a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t work has never done it before…and I’d bet good money on that. We also homeschool, and our kids have excelled socially and academically.

Ocrenter is right about a second income not really amounting to much if it’s not significantly over six figures. After taxes, daycare, auto expenses (gas, insuranace, maintenance and accelerated car purchases), clothing, food (you’ll eat out more), etc. it’s really not worth it even from a purely financial perspective.

There were so many good comments here, and I agree that the pressure is coming from within yourself.

IMHO, kids do not need to go to elite colleges. If they excel in a particular area, many Ivy League schools will offer full scolarships and other financial assistance, so that’s one thing to consider. Other than that, the kids can go to local colleges (J.C. to state university) and work on campus where they can earn extra money and often qualify for discounts on tuition and books.

You do not need to have your house paid off before the kids go to college. Hopefully, it can be paid off before you retire. IMHO, your retirement should take priority over college savings. I know that sounds harsh, but they will have multiple options while you will not; and you will not have the opportunity for a “do-over” once you’re near retirement age.

You are trying to do too much at once (start side businesses, pay off large debts, save for college, save for retirement, pay off house early) and it will obviously affect your health. Slow down, simplify, and lower your standards for yourself. Realize that you cannot control everything, and let life just “happen” while making more **flexible** plans.

I’d say your best options would be:

1. Sell the home and buy a much less expensive one. Save the cash left over for your retirement and start saving for college from your income.

2. Sell your home and rent locally or look at different areas of the country that have a lower cost of living.

3. Refinance your home at these ultra-low rates for 30 years. Make sure there are no pre-payment penalties, and you can use any “extra” money to accelerate principal payments. This way, you can still pay it off early IF that works for you, but you also have the flexibility to pay over time and enjoy life more.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, and please try to find more time to relax and enjoy your family.

Happy New Year!

[CA renter]

H2B,

You and your wife deserve a lot of credit for the sacrifices you both are making for the benefit of your children. There is a lot of misinformation out there about homeschooling, and you know that you’re doing the right thing for your kids. Anyone who thinks a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t work has never done it before…and I’d bet good money on that. We also homeschool, and our kids have excelled socially and academically.

Ocrenter is right about a second income not really amounting to much if it’s not significantly over six figures. After taxes, daycare, auto expenses (gas, insuranace, maintenance and accelerated car purchases), clothing, food (you’ll eat out more), etc. it’s really not worth it even from a purely financial perspective.

There were so many good comments here, and I agree that the pressure is coming from within yourself.

IMHO, kids do not need to go to elite colleges. If they excel in a particular area, many Ivy League schools will offer full scolarships and other financial assistance, so that’s one thing to consider. Other than that, the kids can go to local colleges (J.C. to state university) and work on campus where they can earn extra money and often qualify for discounts on tuition and books.

You do not need to have your house paid off before the kids go to college. Hopefully, it can be paid off before you retire. IMHO, your retirement should take priority over college savings. I know that sounds harsh, but they will have multiple options while you will not; and you will not have the opportunity for a “do-over” once you’re near retirement age.

You are trying to do too much at once (start side businesses, pay off large debts, save for college, save for retirement, pay off house early) and it will obviously affect your health. Slow down, simplify, and lower your standards for yourself. Realize that you cannot control everything, and let life just “happen” while making more **flexible** plans.

I’d say your best options would be:

1. Sell the home and buy a much less expensive one. Save the cash left over for your retirement and start saving for college from your income.

2. Sell your home and rent locally or look at different areas of the country that have a lower cost of living.

3. Refinance your home at these ultra-low rates for 30 years. Make sure there are no pre-payment penalties, and you can use any “extra” money to accelerate principal payments. This way, you can still pay it off early IF that works for you, but you also have the flexibility to pay over time and enjoy life more.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, and please try to find more time to relax and enjoy your family.

Happy New Year!

[temeculaguy]

I agree with sduude about this post bringing out the best in the piggies, but I have a different wrinkle. I see a lot less anger on this site and feel less myself. The bubble frustrated us, it was like we were caught in a bad dream, we all knew something was wrong but nobody would listen. Then the election came and brought anger and distraction. Now that logic is slowly returning to the market, we are starting to find peace, with our world and each other. I cherish the calming posts by Enorah, Temeku and Ca renter and others, how they mention nature, zen, yoga, etc. it caused me to crack open my Lao Tzu and remind myself that an imperfect and sometimes chaotic world is actually what is supposed to happen and there is beauty in imperfection. Horrible storms, floods and fires always result in regrowth and rebirth, it is the way of things, realizing it is normal to have cycles is the key. The last cycle was like a year that winter never came, summer went on too long and it freaked us out, winter showed up and with a vengence but at least it came and we feel better that the seasons have returned. Now that greed seems to be taking a back seat to happiness, I am optimistic about our world, these times may not be that bad at all (I have never met anyone who lived through the great depression that I didn’t think benefited from the experience). The original poster is not unlike any of us with worries about the future, stocks, housing and interest rates, while we gave him advice on choosing happiness and health over wealth, we were actually giving ourselves that advice because our views are slowly and collectively changing. All of you have had an effect on my own well being during the bad dream phase so let me take this opportunity to thank each of you and wish you a very Happy New Year, not neccesarily a prosperous one or a lucky one but a Happy one.

p.s. this philisophical diatribe was written without the assistance of wine so forgive my transgression, it is a direct result of the 40 minute “mental yoga” that i performed courtesy of a 1990 vintage rocky patel cigar, further evidence of my cigar mental reset theory.

[temeculaguy]

I agree with sduude about this post bringing out the best in the piggies, but I have a different wrinkle. I see a lot less anger on this site and feel less myself. The bubble frustrated us, it was like we were caught in a bad dream, we all knew something was wrong but nobody would listen. Then the election came and brought anger and distraction. Now that logic is slowly returning to the market, we are starting to find peace, with our world and each other. I cherish the calming posts by Enorah, Temeku and Ca renter and others, how they mention nature, zen, yoga, etc. it caused me to crack open my Lao Tzu and remind myself that an imperfect and sometimes chaotic world is actually what is supposed to happen and there is beauty in imperfection. Horrible storms, floods and fires always result in regrowth and rebirth, it is the way of things, realizing it is normal to have cycles is the key. The last cycle was like a year that winter never came, summer went on too long and it freaked us out, winter showed up and with a vengence but at least it came and we feel better that the seasons have returned. Now that greed seems to be taking a back seat to happiness, I am optimistic about our world, these times may not be that bad at all (I have never met anyone who lived through the great depression that I didn’t think benefited from the experience). The original poster is not unlike any of us with worries about the future, stocks, housing and interest rates, while we gave him advice on choosing happiness and health over wealth, we were actually giving ourselves that advice because our views are slowly and collectively changing. All of you have had an effect on my own well being during the bad dream phase so let me take this opportunity to thank each of you and wish you a very Happy New Year, not neccesarily a prosperous one or a lucky one but a Happy one.

p.s. this philisophical diatribe was written without the assistance of wine so forgive my transgression, it is a direct result of the 40 minute “mental yoga” that i performed courtesy of a 1990 vintage rocky patel cigar, further evidence of my cigar mental reset theory.

[temeculaguy]

I agree with sduude about this post bringing out the best in the piggies, but I have a different wrinkle. I see a lot less anger on this site and feel less myself. The bubble frustrated us, it was like we were caught in a bad dream, we all knew something was wrong but nobody would listen. Then the election came and brought anger and distraction. Now that logic is slowly returning to the market, we are starting to find peace, with our world and each other. I cherish the calming posts by Enorah, Temeku and Ca renter and others, how they mention nature, zen, yoga, etc. it caused me to crack open my Lao Tzu and remind myself that an imperfect and sometimes chaotic world is actually what is supposed to happen and there is beauty in imperfection. Horrible storms, floods and fires always result in regrowth and rebirth, it is the way of things, realizing it is normal to have cycles is the key. The last cycle was like a year that winter never came, summer went on too long and it freaked us out, winter showed up and with a vengence but at least it came and we feel better that the seasons have returned. Now that greed seems to be taking a back seat to happiness, I am optimistic about our world, these times may not be that bad at all (I have never met anyone who lived through the great depression that I didn’t think benefited from the experience). The original poster is not unlike any of us with worries about the future, stocks, housing and interest rates, while we gave him advice on choosing happiness and health over wealth, we were actually giving ourselves that advice because our views are slowly and collectively changing. All of you have had an effect on my own well being during the bad dream phase so let me take this opportunity to thank each of you and wish you a very Happy New Year, not neccesarily a prosperous one or a lucky one but a Happy one.

p.s. this philisophical diatribe was written without the assistance of wine so forgive my transgression, it is a direct result of the 40 minute “mental yoga” that i performed courtesy of a 1990 vintage rocky patel cigar, further evidence of my cigar mental reset theory.

[temeculaguy]

I agree with sduude about this post bringing out the best in the piggies, but I have a different wrinkle. I see a lot less anger on this site and feel less myself. The bubble frustrated us, it was like we were caught in a bad dream, we all knew something was wrong but nobody would listen. Then the election came and brought anger and distraction. Now that logic is slowly returning to the market, we are starting to find peace, with our world and each other. I cherish the calming posts by Enorah, Temeku and Ca renter and others, how they mention nature, zen, yoga, etc. it caused me to crack open my Lao Tzu and remind myself that an imperfect and sometimes chaotic world is actually what is supposed to happen and there is beauty in imperfection. Horrible storms, floods and fires always result in regrowth and rebirth, it is the way of things, realizing it is normal to have cycles is the key. The last cycle was like a year that winter never came, summer went on too long and it freaked us out, winter showed up and with a vengence but at least it came and we feel better that the seasons have returned. Now that greed seems to be taking a back seat to happiness, I am optimistic about our world, these times may not be that bad at all (I have never met anyone who lived through the great depression that I didn’t think benefited from the experience). The original poster is not unlike any of us with worries about the future, stocks, housing and interest rates, while we gave him advice on choosing happiness and health over wealth, we were actually giving ourselves that advice because our views are slowly and collectively changing. All of you have had an effect on my own well being during the bad dream phase so let me take this opportunity to thank each of you and wish you a very Happy New Year, not neccesarily a prosperous one or a lucky one but a Happy one.

p.s. this philisophical diatribe was written without the assistance of wine so forgive my transgression, it is a direct result of the 40 minute “mental yoga” that i performed courtesy of a 1990 vintage rocky patel cigar, further evidence of my cigar mental reset theory.

[temeculaguy]

I agree with sduude about this post bringing out the best in the piggies, but I have a different wrinkle. I see a lot less anger on this site and feel less myself. The bubble frustrated us, it was like we were caught in a bad dream, we all knew something was wrong but nobody would listen. Then the election came and brought anger and distraction. Now that logic is slowly returning to the market, we are starting to find peace, with our world and each other. I cherish the calming posts by Enorah, Temeku and Ca renter and others, how they mention nature, zen, yoga, etc. it caused me to crack open my Lao Tzu and remind myself that an imperfect and sometimes chaotic world is actually what is supposed to happen and there is beauty in imperfection. Horrible storms, floods and fires always result in regrowth and rebirth, it is the way of things, realizing it is normal to have cycles is the key. The last cycle was like a year that winter never came, summer went on too long and it freaked us out, winter showed up and with a vengence but at least it came and we feel better that the seasons have returned. Now that greed seems to be taking a back seat to happiness, I am optimistic about our world, these times may not be that bad at all (I have never met anyone who lived through the great depression that I didn’t think benefited from the experience). The original poster is not unlike any of us with worries about the future, stocks, housing and interest rates, while we gave him advice on choosing happiness and health over wealth, we were actually giving ourselves that advice because our views are slowly and collectively changing. All of you have had an effect on my own well being during the bad dream phase so let me take this opportunity to thank each of you and wish you a very Happy New Year, not neccesarily a prosperous one or a lucky one but a Happy one.

p.s. this philisophical diatribe was written without the assistance of wine so forgive my transgression, it is a direct result of the 40 minute “mental yoga” that i performed courtesy of a 1990 vintage rocky patel cigar, further evidence of my cigar mental reset theory.

[Enorah]

TG – Happy New Year to you as well.

And Much love and light to the rest of you this year.

May you all find your way easily and joyfully.

[Enorah]

TG – Happy New Year to you as well.

And Much love and light to the rest of you this year.

May you all find your way easily and joyfully.

[Enorah]

TG – Happy New Year to you as well.

And Much love and light to the rest of you this year.

May you all find your way easily and joyfully.

[Enorah]

TG – Happy New Year to you as well.

And Much love and light to the rest of you this year.

May you all find your way easily and joyfully.

[Author]

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