Help… Should we sell, or stay???

[HLS]

H2B,

You certainly have some options. Feel free to contact me for some actual hard numbers and refi possibilities if you wish.

I respond as quickly as I can. ….HLS

[email protected]

[temeculaguy]

Can I retract my statement about sending the kids to public school, at the time I said that, the details about the special needs hadn’t been mentioned. In retrospect, the rest of the advice still stands, perhaps more so. Your wife needs you alive and working, she also needs you contributing more than just financially, her days may be harder than yours if you think about it, she needs wine too. Work less, refi to 30, and do more dad stuff. This will also give you the physical ability and the time for a little lovin with the wifey, another stress reliever and a vital component to a happy marriage, always keep the home fire stoked.

The cigar comment isn’t a flippant hedonistic remark that I am known to make, it is serious. The negative health effects of a cigar a few times a week are outweighed by the benefits. Cigars are not like cigarettes, you can’t have them while doing something else. After dropping ten bucks on a good stick, you are forced to spend thirty minutes outside just sitting, thinking and relaxing. It is one of the great unknown health secrets because it forces you to push the “reset” button on life. George Burns, Sinatra, Milton Berle, Castro, all iconic cigar men and all lived past 80 despite lifestyles that most would consider hazardous to one’s health. If you see someone and they always seem to have a cigar in hand, expect to keep seeing them.

Thanks xbox and carlsbad on the props, I was on my third glass of wine when I wrote it. I took your advice and reread it myself, It kinda scares me that I make more sense when I’m drinking.

sdr, the cookie joke was something I saw on a t-shirt, it seemed fitting

http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/index.php?mode=DETAIL&parent=SRCH&pid=7951&page=1&perpage=16

[temeculaguy]

Can I retract my statement about sending the kids to public school, at the time I said that, the details about the special needs hadn’t been mentioned. In retrospect, the rest of the advice still stands, perhaps more so. Your wife needs you alive and working, she also needs you contributing more than just financially, her days may be harder than yours if you think about it, she needs wine too. Work less, refi to 30, and do more dad stuff. This will also give you the physical ability and the time for a little lovin with the wifey, another stress reliever and a vital component to a happy marriage, always keep the home fire stoked.

The cigar comment isn’t a flippant hedonistic remark that I am known to make, it is serious. The negative health effects of a cigar a few times a week are outweighed by the benefits. Cigars are not like cigarettes, you can’t have them while doing something else. After dropping ten bucks on a good stick, you are forced to spend thirty minutes outside just sitting, thinking and relaxing. It is one of the great unknown health secrets because it forces you to push the “reset” button on life. George Burns, Sinatra, Milton Berle, Castro, all iconic cigar men and all lived past 80 despite lifestyles that most would consider hazardous to one’s health. If you see someone and they always seem to have a cigar in hand, expect to keep seeing them.

Thanks xbox and carlsbad on the props, I was on my third glass of wine when I wrote it. I took your advice and reread it myself, It kinda scares me that I make more sense when I’m drinking.

sdr, the cookie joke was something I saw on a t-shirt, it seemed fitting

http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/index.php?mode=DETAIL&parent=SRCH&pid=7951&page=1&perpage=16

[temeculaguy]

Can I retract my statement about sending the kids to public school, at the time I said that, the details about the special needs hadn’t been mentioned. In retrospect, the rest of the advice still stands, perhaps more so. Your wife needs you alive and working, she also needs you contributing more than just financially, her days may be harder than yours if you think about it, she needs wine too. Work less, refi to 30, and do more dad stuff. This will also give you the physical ability and the time for a little lovin with the wifey, another stress reliever and a vital component to a happy marriage, always keep the home fire stoked.

The cigar comment isn’t a flippant hedonistic remark that I am known to make, it is serious. The negative health effects of a cigar a few times a week are outweighed by the benefits. Cigars are not like cigarettes, you can’t have them while doing something else. After dropping ten bucks on a good stick, you are forced to spend thirty minutes outside just sitting, thinking and relaxing. It is one of the great unknown health secrets because it forces you to push the “reset” button on life. George Burns, Sinatra, Milton Berle, Castro, all iconic cigar men and all lived past 80 despite lifestyles that most would consider hazardous to one’s health. If you see someone and they always seem to have a cigar in hand, expect to keep seeing them.

Thanks xbox and carlsbad on the props, I was on my third glass of wine when I wrote it. I took your advice and reread it myself, It kinda scares me that I make more sense when I’m drinking.

sdr, the cookie joke was something I saw on a t-shirt, it seemed fitting

http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/index.php?mode=DETAIL&parent=SRCH&pid=7951&page=1&perpage=16

[temeculaguy]

Can I retract my statement about sending the kids to public school, at the time I said that, the details about the special needs hadn’t been mentioned. In retrospect, the rest of the advice still stands, perhaps more so. Your wife needs you alive and working, she also needs you contributing more than just financially, her days may be harder than yours if you think about it, she needs wine too. Work less, refi to 30, and do more dad stuff. This will also give you the physical ability and the time for a little lovin with the wifey, another stress reliever and a vital component to a happy marriage, always keep the home fire stoked.

The cigar comment isn’t a flippant hedonistic remark that I am known to make, it is serious. The negative health effects of a cigar a few times a week are outweighed by the benefits. Cigars are not like cigarettes, you can’t have them while doing something else. After dropping ten bucks on a good stick, you are forced to spend thirty minutes outside just sitting, thinking and relaxing. It is one of the great unknown health secrets because it forces you to push the “reset” button on life. George Burns, Sinatra, Milton Berle, Castro, all iconic cigar men and all lived past 80 despite lifestyles that most would consider hazardous to one’s health. If you see someone and they always seem to have a cigar in hand, expect to keep seeing them.

Thanks xbox and carlsbad on the props, I was on my third glass of wine when I wrote it. I took your advice and reread it myself, It kinda scares me that I make more sense when I’m drinking.

sdr, the cookie joke was something I saw on a t-shirt, it seemed fitting

http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/index.php?mode=DETAIL&parent=SRCH&pid=7951&page=1&perpage=16

[temeculaguy]

Can I retract my statement about sending the kids to public school, at the time I said that, the details about the special needs hadn’t been mentioned. In retrospect, the rest of the advice still stands, perhaps more so. Your wife needs you alive and working, she also needs you contributing more than just financially, her days may be harder than yours if you think about it, she needs wine too. Work less, refi to 30, and do more dad stuff. This will also give you the physical ability and the time for a little lovin with the wifey, another stress reliever and a vital component to a happy marriage, always keep the home fire stoked.

The cigar comment isn’t a flippant hedonistic remark that I am known to make, it is serious. The negative health effects of a cigar a few times a week are outweighed by the benefits. Cigars are not like cigarettes, you can’t have them while doing something else. After dropping ten bucks on a good stick, you are forced to spend thirty minutes outside just sitting, thinking and relaxing. It is one of the great unknown health secrets because it forces you to push the “reset” button on life. George Burns, Sinatra, Milton Berle, Castro, all iconic cigar men and all lived past 80 despite lifestyles that most would consider hazardous to one’s health. If you see someone and they always seem to have a cigar in hand, expect to keep seeing them.

Thanks xbox and carlsbad on the props, I was on my third glass of wine when I wrote it. I took your advice and reread it myself, It kinda scares me that I make more sense when I’m drinking.

sdr, the cookie joke was something I saw on a t-shirt, it seemed fitting

http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/index.php?mode=DETAIL&parent=SRCH&pid=7951&page=1&perpage=16

[CBad]

Wow, you have gotten advice all over the place. Here’s my 2 cents:

Kudos to you and your wife for her staying home and homeschooling (that is a job people). I don’t care if you are in Carlsbad or La Jolla, homeschooling trumps public schooling any day in my opinion with the right person doing it. Plus, exactly how much does a family have to earn in order to have a mom at home with the kids now people? 270K is not enough? Sheesh. They are only little and need you for a short period of time in life.

Now, if you were my husband and you were in poor health, I’d live in a one bedroom apartment living off of savings from the house vs. having you die. NO JOB OR HOUSE is worth 90 hours of your life, your health, and the missed hours from your family. So what does your wife think? Why are you in your current house? What happiness and comfort does it bring you?

I can appreciate the thought of paying off your house and the comfort that will bring when you send your boys off to college. We’ll have ours paid off in 2009 and I am stoked. But, you seem to be racing towards some finish line while putting your health at risk. I see you having many options here. Sell the house and buy with the equity, stay and refinance to a # of years that is more reasonable, sell the house and buy one with a more manageable mortgage that you can easily pay off in 9 years, etc. But whatever you do, cut your hours or find another place to work and be a good husband and father for many, many years to come. There is no better gift you could give them and yourself.

[CBad]

Wow, you have gotten advice all over the place. Here’s my 2 cents:

Kudos to you and your wife for her staying home and homeschooling (that is a job people). I don’t care if you are in Carlsbad or La Jolla, homeschooling trumps public schooling any day in my opinion with the right person doing it. Plus, exactly how much does a family have to earn in order to have a mom at home with the kids now people? 270K is not enough? Sheesh. They are only little and need you for a short period of time in life.

Now, if you were my husband and you were in poor health, I’d live in a one bedroom apartment living off of savings from the house vs. having you die. NO JOB OR HOUSE is worth 90 hours of your life, your health, and the missed hours from your family. So what does your wife think? Why are you in your current house? What happiness and comfort does it bring you?

I can appreciate the thought of paying off your house and the comfort that will bring when you send your boys off to college. We’ll have ours paid off in 2009 and I am stoked. But, you seem to be racing towards some finish line while putting your health at risk. I see you having many options here. Sell the house and buy with the equity, stay and refinance to a # of years that is more reasonable, sell the house and buy one with a more manageable mortgage that you can easily pay off in 9 years, etc. But whatever you do, cut your hours or find another place to work and be a good husband and father for many, many years to come. There is no better gift you could give them and yourself.

[CBad]

Wow, you have gotten advice all over the place. Here’s my 2 cents:

Kudos to you and your wife for her staying home and homeschooling (that is a job people). I don’t care if you are in Carlsbad or La Jolla, homeschooling trumps public schooling any day in my opinion with the right person doing it. Plus, exactly how much does a family have to earn in order to have a mom at home with the kids now people? 270K is not enough? Sheesh. They are only little and need you for a short period of time in life.

Now, if you were my husband and you were in poor health, I’d live in a one bedroom apartment living off of savings from the house vs. having you die. NO JOB OR HOUSE is worth 90 hours of your life, your health, and the missed hours from your family. So what does your wife think? Why are you in your current house? What happiness and comfort does it bring you?

I can appreciate the thought of paying off your house and the comfort that will bring when you send your boys off to college. We’ll have ours paid off in 2009 and I am stoked. But, you seem to be racing towards some finish line while putting your health at risk. I see you having many options here. Sell the house and buy with the equity, stay and refinance to a # of years that is more reasonable, sell the house and buy one with a more manageable mortgage that you can easily pay off in 9 years, etc. But whatever you do, cut your hours or find another place to work and be a good husband and father for many, many years to come. There is no better gift you could give them and yourself.

[CBad]

Wow, you have gotten advice all over the place. Here’s my 2 cents:

Kudos to you and your wife for her staying home and homeschooling (that is a job people). I don’t care if you are in Carlsbad or La Jolla, homeschooling trumps public schooling any day in my opinion with the right person doing it. Plus, exactly how much does a family have to earn in order to have a mom at home with the kids now people? 270K is not enough? Sheesh. They are only little and need you for a short period of time in life.

Now, if you were my husband and you were in poor health, I’d live in a one bedroom apartment living off of savings from the house vs. having you die. NO JOB OR HOUSE is worth 90 hours of your life, your health, and the missed hours from your family. So what does your wife think? Why are you in your current house? What happiness and comfort does it bring you?

I can appreciate the thought of paying off your house and the comfort that will bring when you send your boys off to college. We’ll have ours paid off in 2009 and I am stoked. But, you seem to be racing towards some finish line while putting your health at risk. I see you having many options here. Sell the house and buy with the equity, stay and refinance to a # of years that is more reasonable, sell the house and buy one with a more manageable mortgage that you can easily pay off in 9 years, etc. But whatever you do, cut your hours or find another place to work and be a good husband and father for many, many years to come. There is no better gift you could give them and yourself.

[CBad]

Wow, you have gotten advice all over the place. Here’s my 2 cents:

Kudos to you and your wife for her staying home and homeschooling (that is a job people). I don’t care if you are in Carlsbad or La Jolla, homeschooling trumps public schooling any day in my opinion with the right person doing it. Plus, exactly how much does a family have to earn in order to have a mom at home with the kids now people? 270K is not enough? Sheesh. They are only little and need you for a short period of time in life.

Now, if you were my husband and you were in poor health, I’d live in a one bedroom apartment living off of savings from the house vs. having you die. NO JOB OR HOUSE is worth 90 hours of your life, your health, and the missed hours from your family. So what does your wife think? Why are you in your current house? What happiness and comfort does it bring you?

I can appreciate the thought of paying off your house and the comfort that will bring when you send your boys off to college. We’ll have ours paid off in 2009 and I am stoked. But, you seem to be racing towards some finish line while putting your health at risk. I see you having many options here. Sell the house and buy with the equity, stay and refinance to a # of years that is more reasonable, sell the house and buy one with a more manageable mortgage that you can easily pay off in 9 years, etc. But whatever you do, cut your hours or find another place to work and be a good husband and father for many, many years to come. There is no better gift you could give them and yourself.

[sdduuuude]

I know someone who homeschools. Their kid knew all the dinosaurs when he was 3 but is now 5 and doesn’t know how to play with others. Our kids (now 6) basically avoid him because he has no concept of dealing with other kids unless his dad is there, hovering over him, ready to take him away screaming when he doesn’t get his way.

Now, I’m sure there are things a homeschooler can do to improve social interaction, but I see lack of social training as the biggest downside of homeschooling. Also, they need to learn how to deal with adults other than their parents. I’m all for getting kids out there, learning how to deal with life w/o their parents – exactly what homeschool isn’t.

As a recovering nerd myself, I would be worried about a 9-year old doing algebra and playing music not getting enough social education in a homeschool environment. It’s a bit overdramatic to say “someday, he may perform in a great symphony, and look out into the audience to find you are the only friends who have come to see him” but I worry about it.

HS – I’m only saying this for you to ponder – I certianly don’t know enough about your situation to make any kind of assertion for you personally an don’t pretend to.

Great post, Temecula Guy. Just reading your post probably brought his blood-pressure down a bit.

In other school-related topics on this forum, someone mentioned that the great school districts in SD do a very good job with special needs kids.

On the flipside, if he wants to continue homeschooling and still downsize, finding a nice house in a “bad” school district is an interesting plan. I’m not sure the “markup” is enough to allow him to scale back enough, though so a 20 or 30-year loan may be the ticket, and ugh- the thought of moving while homeschooling and working 90 hour weeks is awful. I think you have to stay in that house and refi.

Really – if you scale back your income, what is the difference between having a nice house that is not paid off or a lesser house that is paid off? Either way, you own less house. Your net worth is the same.

Also – maybe a job change (is there such a thing as contract work in the med industry?) would get you more money per hour ?

[sdduuuude]

I know someone who homeschools. Their kid knew all the dinosaurs when he was 3 but is now 5 and doesn’t know how to play with others. Our kids (now 6) basically avoid him because he has no concept of dealing with other kids unless his dad is there, hovering over him, ready to take him away screaming when he doesn’t get his way.

Now, I’m sure there are things a homeschooler can do to improve social interaction, but I see lack of social training as the biggest downside of homeschooling. Also, they need to learn how to deal with adults other than their parents. I’m all for getting kids out there, learning how to deal with life w/o their parents – exactly what homeschool isn’t.

As a recovering nerd myself, I would be worried about a 9-year old doing algebra and playing music not getting enough social education in a homeschool environment. It’s a bit overdramatic to say “someday, he may perform in a great symphony, and look out into the audience to find you are the only friends who have come to see him” but I worry about it.

HS – I’m only saying this for you to ponder – I certianly don’t know enough about your situation to make any kind of assertion for you personally an don’t pretend to.

Great post, Temecula Guy. Just reading your post probably brought his blood-pressure down a bit.

In other school-related topics on this forum, someone mentioned that the great school districts in SD do a very good job with special needs kids.

On the flipside, if he wants to continue homeschooling and still downsize, finding a nice house in a “bad” school district is an interesting plan. I’m not sure the “markup” is enough to allow him to scale back enough, though so a 20 or 30-year loan may be the ticket, and ugh- the thought of moving while homeschooling and working 90 hour weeks is awful. I think you have to stay in that house and refi.

Really – if you scale back your income, what is the difference between having a nice house that is not paid off or a lesser house that is paid off? Either way, you own less house. Your net worth is the same.

Also – maybe a job change (is there such a thing as contract work in the med industry?) would get you more money per hour ?

[sdduuuude]

I know someone who homeschools. Their kid knew all the dinosaurs when he was 3 but is now 5 and doesn’t know how to play with others. Our kids (now 6) basically avoid him because he has no concept of dealing with other kids unless his dad is there, hovering over him, ready to take him away screaming when he doesn’t get his way.

Now, I’m sure there are things a homeschooler can do to improve social interaction, but I see lack of social training as the biggest downside of homeschooling. Also, they need to learn how to deal with adults other than their parents. I’m all for getting kids out there, learning how to deal with life w/o their parents – exactly what homeschool isn’t.

As a recovering nerd myself, I would be worried about a 9-year old doing algebra and playing music not getting enough social education in a homeschool environment. It’s a bit overdramatic to say “someday, he may perform in a great symphony, and look out into the audience to find you are the only friends who have come to see him” but I worry about it.

HS – I’m only saying this for you to ponder – I certianly don’t know enough about your situation to make any kind of assertion for you personally an don’t pretend to.

Great post, Temecula Guy. Just reading your post probably brought his blood-pressure down a bit.

In other school-related topics on this forum, someone mentioned that the great school districts in SD do a very good job with special needs kids.

On the flipside, if he wants to continue homeschooling and still downsize, finding a nice house in a “bad” school district is an interesting plan. I’m not sure the “markup” is enough to allow him to scale back enough, though so a 20 or 30-year loan may be the ticket, and ugh- the thought of moving while homeschooling and working 90 hour weeks is awful. I think you have to stay in that house and refi.

Really – if you scale back your income, what is the difference between having a nice house that is not paid off or a lesser house that is paid off? Either way, you own less house. Your net worth is the same.

Also – maybe a job change (is there such a thing as contract work in the med industry?) would get you more money per hour ?

[sdduuuude]

I know someone who homeschools. Their kid knew all the dinosaurs when he was 3 but is now 5 and doesn’t know how to play with others. Our kids (now 6) basically avoid him because he has no concept of dealing with other kids unless his dad is there, hovering over him, ready to take him away screaming when he doesn’t get his way.

Now, I’m sure there are things a homeschooler can do to improve social interaction, but I see lack of social training as the biggest downside of homeschooling. Also, they need to learn how to deal with adults other than their parents. I’m all for getting kids out there, learning how to deal with life w/o their parents – exactly what homeschool isn’t.

As a recovering nerd myself, I would be worried about a 9-year old doing algebra and playing music not getting enough social education in a homeschool environment. It’s a bit overdramatic to say “someday, he may perform in a great symphony, and look out into the audience to find you are the only friends who have come to see him” but I worry about it.

HS – I’m only saying this for you to ponder – I certianly don’t know enough about your situation to make any kind of assertion for you personally an don’t pretend to.

Great post, Temecula Guy. Just reading your post probably brought his blood-pressure down a bit.

In other school-related topics on this forum, someone mentioned that the great school districts in SD do a very good job with special needs kids.

On the flipside, if he wants to continue homeschooling and still downsize, finding a nice house in a “bad” school district is an interesting plan. I’m not sure the “markup” is enough to allow him to scale back enough, though so a 20 or 30-year loan may be the ticket, and ugh- the thought of moving while homeschooling and working 90 hour weeks is awful. I think you have to stay in that house and refi.

Really – if you scale back your income, what is the difference between having a nice house that is not paid off or a lesser house that is paid off? Either way, you own less house. Your net worth is the same.

Also – maybe a job change (is there such a thing as contract work in the med industry?) would get you more money per hour ?

[Author]

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