Anyone know a good divorce lawyer?

[Aecetia]

To publicdefender re your earlier question: “I have been thinking lately on April 19, 2008, that I would like some good statistics on what the odds are of being ‘somewhat happy’ on a decisive majority of days of the year, in a long term marriage.”

Here is what the experts say about happiness: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080418/ap_on_he_me/older_and_happier
…for what it’s worth.

A.

[Aecetia]

To publicdefender re your earlier question: “I have been thinking lately on April 19, 2008, that I would like some good statistics on what the odds are of being ‘somewhat happy’ on a decisive majority of days of the year, in a long term marriage.”

Here is what the experts say about happiness: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080418/ap_on_he_me/older_and_happier
…for what it’s worth.

A.

[svelte]

Man, I just checked back in with this thread having been away from it a few days. Holy smoke!

These topics are obviously near and dear to everyone’s heart. That’s good, I suppose.

I just skimmed the thread, but a couple of things I wanted to respond to:

Having a mom work outside the home isn’t selfish and doesn’t deprive the child of anything. Robyn’s song understands this – I can tell by her comment about her child being in a learning environment while she works (as opposed to being at home watching mommy clean and run errands). That is the same thing we did – there were many afternoons I would go to pick the kids up from pre-school and they didn’t want to go yet! They were having too much fun with their buds.

I made a deal with my kids: if they ever told me they no longer wanted to go to the pre-school or after-school care, that would be the last day they would go there. That only happened once and, when it did, we as a family searched for a new place. The kids picked it out and loved it.

On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.

Some couples decide that having the mom at home is best for them. I don’t fault them for that – it is a perfectly valid choice. It just isn’t the right choice for every family. It certainly wasn’t right for us.

However, even I think a parent should be home with a newborn. It’s just much safer, unless there is a relative or trusted adult around who can babysit. The way we handled that is we worked opposite shifts…we’d meet in a parking lot and swap cars (the kids snugly in the carseat of one car) as one of us was getting off work and the other was starting. We didn’t get to see much of each other for awhile, but we made it through just fine.

And I’m not quite sure why anyone would have to hire a housecleaner and laundry service just because both parents work. We never did that – we did those chores ourselves. If mom and dad and kids are out of the house most of the day, the house gets much, much less dirty. That wouldn’t work too well in homes where the male won’t pitch in, but we split the chores equally. It didn’t take that much time. Heck, now that we are older and have more $$ we just started hiring a house service and it only takes them 3 hours every other week. It’s not a major undertaking.

[svelte]

Man, I just checked back in with this thread having been away from it a few days. Holy smoke!

These topics are obviously near and dear to everyone’s heart. That’s good, I suppose.

I just skimmed the thread, but a couple of things I wanted to respond to:

Having a mom work outside the home isn’t selfish and doesn’t deprive the child of anything. Robyn’s song understands this – I can tell by her comment about her child being in a learning environment while she works (as opposed to being at home watching mommy clean and run errands). That is the same thing we did – there were many afternoons I would go to pick the kids up from pre-school and they didn’t want to go yet! They were having too much fun with their buds.

I made a deal with my kids: if they ever told me they no longer wanted to go to the pre-school or after-school care, that would be the last day they would go there. That only happened once and, when it did, we as a family searched for a new place. The kids picked it out and loved it.

On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.

Some couples decide that having the mom at home is best for them. I don’t fault them for that – it is a perfectly valid choice. It just isn’t the right choice for every family. It certainly wasn’t right for us.

However, even I think a parent should be home with a newborn. It’s just much safer, unless there is a relative or trusted adult around who can babysit. The way we handled that is we worked opposite shifts…we’d meet in a parking lot and swap cars (the kids snugly in the carseat of one car) as one of us was getting off work and the other was starting. We didn’t get to see much of each other for awhile, but we made it through just fine.

And I’m not quite sure why anyone would have to hire a housecleaner and laundry service just because both parents work. We never did that – we did those chores ourselves. If mom and dad and kids are out of the house most of the day, the house gets much, much less dirty. That wouldn’t work too well in homes where the male won’t pitch in, but we split the chores equally. It didn’t take that much time. Heck, now that we are older and have more $$ we just started hiring a house service and it only takes them 3 hours every other week. It’s not a major undertaking.

[svelte]

Man, I just checked back in with this thread having been away from it a few days. Holy smoke!

These topics are obviously near and dear to everyone’s heart. That’s good, I suppose.

I just skimmed the thread, but a couple of things I wanted to respond to:

Having a mom work outside the home isn’t selfish and doesn’t deprive the child of anything. Robyn’s song understands this – I can tell by her comment about her child being in a learning environment while she works (as opposed to being at home watching mommy clean and run errands). That is the same thing we did – there were many afternoons I would go to pick the kids up from pre-school and they didn’t want to go yet! They were having too much fun with their buds.

I made a deal with my kids: if they ever told me they no longer wanted to go to the pre-school or after-school care, that would be the last day they would go there. That only happened once and, when it did, we as a family searched for a new place. The kids picked it out and loved it.

On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.

Some couples decide that having the mom at home is best for them. I don’t fault them for that – it is a perfectly valid choice. It just isn’t the right choice for every family. It certainly wasn’t right for us.

However, even I think a parent should be home with a newborn. It’s just much safer, unless there is a relative or trusted adult around who can babysit. The way we handled that is we worked opposite shifts…we’d meet in a parking lot and swap cars (the kids snugly in the carseat of one car) as one of us was getting off work and the other was starting. We didn’t get to see much of each other for awhile, but we made it through just fine.

And I’m not quite sure why anyone would have to hire a housecleaner and laundry service just because both parents work. We never did that – we did those chores ourselves. If mom and dad and kids are out of the house most of the day, the house gets much, much less dirty. That wouldn’t work too well in homes where the male won’t pitch in, but we split the chores equally. It didn’t take that much time. Heck, now that we are older and have more $$ we just started hiring a house service and it only takes them 3 hours every other week. It’s not a major undertaking.

[svelte]

Man, I just checked back in with this thread having been away from it a few days. Holy smoke!

These topics are obviously near and dear to everyone’s heart. That’s good, I suppose.

I just skimmed the thread, but a couple of things I wanted to respond to:

Having a mom work outside the home isn’t selfish and doesn’t deprive the child of anything. Robyn’s song understands this – I can tell by her comment about her child being in a learning environment while she works (as opposed to being at home watching mommy clean and run errands). That is the same thing we did – there were many afternoons I would go to pick the kids up from pre-school and they didn’t want to go yet! They were having too much fun with their buds.

I made a deal with my kids: if they ever told me they no longer wanted to go to the pre-school or after-school care, that would be the last day they would go there. That only happened once and, when it did, we as a family searched for a new place. The kids picked it out and loved it.

On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.

Some couples decide that having the mom at home is best for them. I don’t fault them for that – it is a perfectly valid choice. It just isn’t the right choice for every family. It certainly wasn’t right for us.

However, even I think a parent should be home with a newborn. It’s just much safer, unless there is a relative or trusted adult around who can babysit. The way we handled that is we worked opposite shifts…we’d meet in a parking lot and swap cars (the kids snugly in the carseat of one car) as one of us was getting off work and the other was starting. We didn’t get to see much of each other for awhile, but we made it through just fine.

And I’m not quite sure why anyone would have to hire a housecleaner and laundry service just because both parents work. We never did that – we did those chores ourselves. If mom and dad and kids are out of the house most of the day, the house gets much, much less dirty. That wouldn’t work too well in homes where the male won’t pitch in, but we split the chores equally. It didn’t take that much time. Heck, now that we are older and have more $$ we just started hiring a house service and it only takes them 3 hours every other week. It’s not a major undertaking.

[svelte]

Man, I just checked back in with this thread having been away from it a few days. Holy smoke!

These topics are obviously near and dear to everyone’s heart. That’s good, I suppose.

I just skimmed the thread, but a couple of things I wanted to respond to:

Having a mom work outside the home isn’t selfish and doesn’t deprive the child of anything. Robyn’s song understands this – I can tell by her comment about her child being in a learning environment while she works (as opposed to being at home watching mommy clean and run errands). That is the same thing we did – there were many afternoons I would go to pick the kids up from pre-school and they didn’t want to go yet! They were having too much fun with their buds.

I made a deal with my kids: if they ever told me they no longer wanted to go to the pre-school or after-school care, that would be the last day they would go there. That only happened once and, when it did, we as a family searched for a new place. The kids picked it out and loved it.

On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.

Some couples decide that having the mom at home is best for them. I don’t fault them for that – it is a perfectly valid choice. It just isn’t the right choice for every family. It certainly wasn’t right for us.

However, even I think a parent should be home with a newborn. It’s just much safer, unless there is a relative or trusted adult around who can babysit. The way we handled that is we worked opposite shifts…we’d meet in a parking lot and swap cars (the kids snugly in the carseat of one car) as one of us was getting off work and the other was starting. We didn’t get to see much of each other for awhile, but we made it through just fine.

And I’m not quite sure why anyone would have to hire a housecleaner and laundry service just because both parents work. We never did that – we did those chores ourselves. If mom and dad and kids are out of the house most of the day, the house gets much, much less dirty. That wouldn’t work too well in homes where the male won’t pitch in, but we split the chores equally. It didn’t take that much time. Heck, now that we are older and have more $$ we just started hiring a house service and it only takes them 3 hours every other week. It’s not a major undertaking.

[waitingpatiently]

Svelte- We are on two completely different sides of this debate. I couldn’t disagree with you more! So your idea of being a stay at home mom is that my kids watch me clean and run errands all day?

My children are able to wake up when they want in the morning no rushing because I need to drop them off somewhere at a certain time. And I am able to MAKE them and their father a healthy breakfast that we all eat together before Dad heads to the office. Do they watch me prepare their breakfast and clean their mess? Yes of course they do…they watch their mother care for her family. I could go on but I think that you get the picture and I wouldn’t want to “bore” you.

As far as my children not being in a “learning environment” you are right they are not. My children are in a “discovery environment”. My children are able to pick from an assortment of activities ranging from beadwork, painting, cutting, dramatic play, outside play, reading corner, science center, ect. They work on problem solving, creative thinking, emotional awareness, things that most “learning enviroments” fail to provide.

My children also attend a “pre-school” 2 days a weeks for 3 hours at a Child Development Center that mimics what we teach at home. If they are sick, are having an off day or if we feel like having an adventure day we skip.

In response to “On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.” Oh thats right we forgot to calllous their fragile skin 🙂 I find that pretty suprising. ALL of my girlfriends are stay-at-home moms and NONE of their children had any problems with the first day of kindergarten.

I believe that our world has gotten so caught up, as you say, the “hub-bub” that our children are missing out on such an important time in their life. My children have their entire life to be stressed, worried, and on a schedule.

My question to you…what is the difference between a newborn and a 2 year old? Does one require less care and attention? I have to tell you that it was a heck of a lot easier having a newborn than it is having a three year old. Give me the nursing every two hours, sleeping, cuddling any day over trying to answer/explain what worms eat and where does rain come and all the “why’s” to a 3 and 4 year old.

I understand that there are different strokes for different folks, but at least be honest with yourself. Did you go back to work because you thought it was best for your kids or because you wanted to? Don’t use the “my kids love it” or the “they are learning so much” line. Given a choice I would bet that all pre-kindergarten kids and most “graders” want to be home with their parents or have them pick them up from school. And there are times when kids want to go to their friends houses and play after school, that I get. And if they truely don’t want to be home with you…why is that?

[waitingpatiently]

Svelte- We are on two completely different sides of this debate. I couldn’t disagree with you more! So your idea of being a stay at home mom is that my kids watch me clean and run errands all day?

My children are able to wake up when they want in the morning no rushing because I need to drop them off somewhere at a certain time. And I am able to MAKE them and their father a healthy breakfast that we all eat together before Dad heads to the office. Do they watch me prepare their breakfast and clean their mess? Yes of course they do…they watch their mother care for her family. I could go on but I think that you get the picture and I wouldn’t want to “bore” you.

As far as my children not being in a “learning environment” you are right they are not. My children are in a “discovery environment”. My children are able to pick from an assortment of activities ranging from beadwork, painting, cutting, dramatic play, outside play, reading corner, science center, ect. They work on problem solving, creative thinking, emotional awareness, things that most “learning enviroments” fail to provide.

My children also attend a “pre-school” 2 days a weeks for 3 hours at a Child Development Center that mimics what we teach at home. If they are sick, are having an off day or if we feel like having an adventure day we skip.

In response to “On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.” Oh thats right we forgot to calllous their fragile skin 🙂 I find that pretty suprising. ALL of my girlfriends are stay-at-home moms and NONE of their children had any problems with the first day of kindergarten.

I believe that our world has gotten so caught up, as you say, the “hub-bub” that our children are missing out on such an important time in their life. My children have their entire life to be stressed, worried, and on a schedule.

My question to you…what is the difference between a newborn and a 2 year old? Does one require less care and attention? I have to tell you that it was a heck of a lot easier having a newborn than it is having a three year old. Give me the nursing every two hours, sleeping, cuddling any day over trying to answer/explain what worms eat and where does rain come and all the “why’s” to a 3 and 4 year old.

I understand that there are different strokes for different folks, but at least be honest with yourself. Did you go back to work because you thought it was best for your kids or because you wanted to? Don’t use the “my kids love it” or the “they are learning so much” line. Given a choice I would bet that all pre-kindergarten kids and most “graders” want to be home with their parents or have them pick them up from school. And there are times when kids want to go to their friends houses and play after school, that I get. And if they truely don’t want to be home with you…why is that?

[waitingpatiently]

Svelte- We are on two completely different sides of this debate. I couldn’t disagree with you more! So your idea of being a stay at home mom is that my kids watch me clean and run errands all day?

My children are able to wake up when they want in the morning no rushing because I need to drop them off somewhere at a certain time. And I am able to MAKE them and their father a healthy breakfast that we all eat together before Dad heads to the office. Do they watch me prepare their breakfast and clean their mess? Yes of course they do…they watch their mother care for her family. I could go on but I think that you get the picture and I wouldn’t want to “bore” you.

As far as my children not being in a “learning environment” you are right they are not. My children are in a “discovery environment”. My children are able to pick from an assortment of activities ranging from beadwork, painting, cutting, dramatic play, outside play, reading corner, science center, ect. They work on problem solving, creative thinking, emotional awareness, things that most “learning enviroments” fail to provide.

My children also attend a “pre-school” 2 days a weeks for 3 hours at a Child Development Center that mimics what we teach at home. If they are sick, are having an off day or if we feel like having an adventure day we skip.

In response to “On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.” Oh thats right we forgot to calllous their fragile skin 🙂 I find that pretty suprising. ALL of my girlfriends are stay-at-home moms and NONE of their children had any problems with the first day of kindergarten.

I believe that our world has gotten so caught up, as you say, the “hub-bub” that our children are missing out on such an important time in their life. My children have their entire life to be stressed, worried, and on a schedule.

My question to you…what is the difference between a newborn and a 2 year old? Does one require less care and attention? I have to tell you that it was a heck of a lot easier having a newborn than it is having a three year old. Give me the nursing every two hours, sleeping, cuddling any day over trying to answer/explain what worms eat and where does rain come and all the “why’s” to a 3 and 4 year old.

I understand that there are different strokes for different folks, but at least be honest with yourself. Did you go back to work because you thought it was best for your kids or because you wanted to? Don’t use the “my kids love it” or the “they are learning so much” line. Given a choice I would bet that all pre-kindergarten kids and most “graders” want to be home with their parents or have them pick them up from school. And there are times when kids want to go to their friends houses and play after school, that I get. And if they truely don’t want to be home with you…why is that?

[waitingpatiently]

Svelte- We are on two completely different sides of this debate. I couldn’t disagree with you more! So your idea of being a stay at home mom is that my kids watch me clean and run errands all day?

My children are able to wake up when they want in the morning no rushing because I need to drop them off somewhere at a certain time. And I am able to MAKE them and their father a healthy breakfast that we all eat together before Dad heads to the office. Do they watch me prepare their breakfast and clean their mess? Yes of course they do…they watch their mother care for her family. I could go on but I think that you get the picture and I wouldn’t want to “bore” you.

As far as my children not being in a “learning environment” you are right they are not. My children are in a “discovery environment”. My children are able to pick from an assortment of activities ranging from beadwork, painting, cutting, dramatic play, outside play, reading corner, science center, ect. They work on problem solving, creative thinking, emotional awareness, things that most “learning enviroments” fail to provide.

My children also attend a “pre-school” 2 days a weeks for 3 hours at a Child Development Center that mimics what we teach at home. If they are sick, are having an off day or if we feel like having an adventure day we skip.

In response to “On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.” Oh thats right we forgot to calllous their fragile skin 🙂 I find that pretty suprising. ALL of my girlfriends are stay-at-home moms and NONE of their children had any problems with the first day of kindergarten.

I believe that our world has gotten so caught up, as you say, the “hub-bub” that our children are missing out on such an important time in their life. My children have their entire life to be stressed, worried, and on a schedule.

My question to you…what is the difference between a newborn and a 2 year old? Does one require less care and attention? I have to tell you that it was a heck of a lot easier having a newborn than it is having a three year old. Give me the nursing every two hours, sleeping, cuddling any day over trying to answer/explain what worms eat and where does rain come and all the “why’s” to a 3 and 4 year old.

I understand that there are different strokes for different folks, but at least be honest with yourself. Did you go back to work because you thought it was best for your kids or because you wanted to? Don’t use the “my kids love it” or the “they are learning so much” line. Given a choice I would bet that all pre-kindergarten kids and most “graders” want to be home with their parents or have them pick them up from school. And there are times when kids want to go to their friends houses and play after school, that I get. And if they truely don’t want to be home with you…why is that?

[waitingpatiently]

Svelte- We are on two completely different sides of this debate. I couldn’t disagree with you more! So your idea of being a stay at home mom is that my kids watch me clean and run errands all day?

My children are able to wake up when they want in the morning no rushing because I need to drop them off somewhere at a certain time. And I am able to MAKE them and their father a healthy breakfast that we all eat together before Dad heads to the office. Do they watch me prepare their breakfast and clean their mess? Yes of course they do…they watch their mother care for her family. I could go on but I think that you get the picture and I wouldn’t want to “bore” you.

As far as my children not being in a “learning environment” you are right they are not. My children are in a “discovery environment”. My children are able to pick from an assortment of activities ranging from beadwork, painting, cutting, dramatic play, outside play, reading corner, science center, ect. They work on problem solving, creative thinking, emotional awareness, things that most “learning enviroments” fail to provide.

My children also attend a “pre-school” 2 days a weeks for 3 hours at a Child Development Center that mimics what we teach at home. If they are sick, are having an off day or if we feel like having an adventure day we skip.

In response to “On the first day of kindergarten, you can almost point to each kid that had a stay-at-home mom. Those are the kids that look overwhelmed and, in some cases, cry because they aren’t used to the hub-bub.” Oh thats right we forgot to calllous their fragile skin 🙂 I find that pretty suprising. ALL of my girlfriends are stay-at-home moms and NONE of their children had any problems with the first day of kindergarten.

I believe that our world has gotten so caught up, as you say, the “hub-bub” that our children are missing out on such an important time in their life. My children have their entire life to be stressed, worried, and on a schedule.

My question to you…what is the difference between a newborn and a 2 year old? Does one require less care and attention? I have to tell you that it was a heck of a lot easier having a newborn than it is having a three year old. Give me the nursing every two hours, sleeping, cuddling any day over trying to answer/explain what worms eat and where does rain come and all the “why’s” to a 3 and 4 year old.

I understand that there are different strokes for different folks, but at least be honest with yourself. Did you go back to work because you thought it was best for your kids or because you wanted to? Don’t use the “my kids love it” or the “they are learning so much” line. Given a choice I would bet that all pre-kindergarten kids and most “graders” want to be home with their parents or have them pick them up from school. And there are times when kids want to go to their friends houses and play after school, that I get. And if they truely don’t want to be home with you…why is that?

[Anonymous]

I’m more on waitingpatiently’s bench than on svelte’s. Svelte, don’t you think the people you’re paying to watch your kids have “chores” to do while the kids are there? Don’t they have any responsiblity to feed them and clean up after them? Why is it that when they were home with you that all they had to do was watch you clean and run errands? Honestly, it sounds to me that you didn’t want to stay home with them so you’re trying to justify it. If having the kids at home makes you or them miserable, then I agree that it’s better they go elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I’m more on waitingpatiently’s bench than on svelte’s. Svelte, don’t you think the people you’re paying to watch your kids have “chores” to do while the kids are there? Don’t they have any responsiblity to feed them and clean up after them? Why is it that when they were home with you that all they had to do was watch you clean and run errands? Honestly, it sounds to me that you didn’t want to stay home with them so you’re trying to justify it. If having the kids at home makes you or them miserable, then I agree that it’s better they go elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I’m more on waitingpatiently’s bench than on svelte’s. Svelte, don’t you think the people you’re paying to watch your kids have “chores” to do while the kids are there? Don’t they have any responsiblity to feed them and clean up after them? Why is it that when they were home with you that all they had to do was watch you clean and run errands? Honestly, it sounds to me that you didn’t want to stay home with them so you’re trying to justify it. If having the kids at home makes you or them miserable, then I agree that it’s better they go elsewhere.

[Author]

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