You actually have it pretty easy, Ox. My girlfriend has a cat on the opposite end of the attention-seeking spectrum. For some reason this animal is possessed to constantly — I mean constantly — meow (loudly) and make a general racket by opening and slamming shut cabinets, etc etc. Including in the middle of the night.
For instance, a normal cat might decide to jump up on the bed. This cat meows really loudly, and THEN jumps up on the bed. Or a normal cat might just, I don’t know, lie on the bed and purr or something. This one walks back and forth on my head, or just sits on the floor, staring fixedly at a spot on the wall (where there is nothing to look at) and meowing over and over.
This didn’t really pair well with my tendency towards insomnia, so we started closing the bedroom door at night. Her response was to meow, really loudly and aggressively, and to scratch at the door like a starved wolverine. Not just scratching tentatively with one paw — she would literally stand on her hind legs and go to town on the door with both paws at once (think like a climbing motion). She would do this for hours at a time, no joke.
Eventually we moved to a two-story house where she can be locked away on her own floor at night. I still have to wear earplugs to get to sleep, lest I hear her carrying on every night.
So all in all, having a furry houseplant sounds pretty good to me.
I imagine that the cat sympathizers are queuing up with excuses for the cat, so just let me head that off. She is not out of food, she does not have a medical condition, and she does not receive too little attention (far from it). She’s just crazy, and has always been so (she’s 14 years old). And Enorah (welcome back btw, haven’t seen you in a while) — I was quite friendly with this cat at first, until she started keeping me up all night on a regular basis. The relationship cooled a bit after that, to put it lightly — but she started it!
