Wow,
Thanks cabal for sharing honestly. And thanks to others for commenting civilly and with genuine intent to help…
I just wanted to add that even though you feel like your life is not going well (and I don’t mean to dismiss that), hearing all the things you listed I really believe you’ve lived a BLESSED life.
And it’s a blessing that you’ve had the time and inclination to think about life as you have. MANY do not even think about their life and the meaning of life. One should always pause and think about life. What does all this mean? If everyone did think about life, our world would be a far better place.
I always chuckle when I hear people talk scornfully about how boring 9-5 office job is. I think about my dad who never held a 9-5 office job. It wasn’t because he was lazy. He worked hard. He just didn’t get a chance to get a college degree where he grew up so his horizon and options in life were limited to physical labor. But I digress.
There are many many people in this world (we don’t even have to cross the border to Mexico, just look at people living a few miles from where you live) who would give anything to have the kind of security in life (well earned I’m sure) that you seem to enjoy.
Few concrete suggestions
-Kids: I think kids are trying to figure out life. To get to know them, go on a road trip with kids. Just ban ear phones while in the car. Don’t let them sleep but designate one child at a time to stay awake and HELP you stay awake by conversing (that will surely scare them into talking to you 🙂 ). I’ve had many deep conversations with fellow occupants on a long road trip. Seems like that’s the only chance for ‘conversations’ these days. Don’t try to teach or anything but just converse. What do you like? Why? What’s your earliest memory about something or somewhere when young?
-Feeling good: Try to help someone in need with hands on tasks. I mean people who are really in need and given up hope. Not talking about donating money but where you get down and dirty. This isn’t to feel good about yourself but to know that you are BLESSED. Being in the position to help others in need really helps you realize that you ought to be grateful.
There are millions and billions of HUMAN beings whose life is barely above that of a mere animal (animal rights people back off). Well actually many of them are stuck with life that’s even worse than that of animals.
You are blessed.
You live in CA (I mean it).
You have a family.
You have a job.
etc.
