Wow, you have gotten advice all over the place. Here’s my 2 cents:
Kudos to you and your wife for her staying home and homeschooling (that is a job people). I don’t care if you are in Carlsbad or La Jolla, homeschooling trumps public schooling any day in my opinion with the right person doing it. Plus, exactly how much does a family have to earn in order to have a mom at home with the kids now people? 270K is not enough? Sheesh. They are only little and need you for a short period of time in life.
Now, if you were my husband and you were in poor health, I’d live in a one bedroom apartment living off of savings from the house vs. having you die. NO JOB OR HOUSE is worth 90 hours of your life, your health, and the missed hours from your family. So what does your wife think? Why are you in your current house? What happiness and comfort does it bring you?
I can appreciate the thought of paying off your house and the comfort that will bring when you send your boys off to college. We’ll have ours paid off in 2009 and I am stoked. But, you seem to be racing towards some finish line while putting your health at risk. I see you having many options here. Sell the house and buy with the equity, stay and refinance to a # of years that is more reasonable, sell the house and buy one with a more manageable mortgage that you can easily pay off in 9 years, etc. But whatever you do, cut your hours or find another place to work and be a good husband and father for many, many years to come. There is no better gift you could give them and yourself.