We have 2 small kids, living in Temecula, and one of the first things we did after we moved in was to put in a pool. Agree with the poster that said that if you live in one of the hotter areas, pools are much more of a positive than if you live on the coast. We put in a great fence (which I would consider a MUST) so that we can still use the rest of the yard without worrying about it.
5,000 got us a great solar heater, so it costs us nothing to heat the pool (if we let it go, it will make the pool a giant 104 degree hot tub in the summer – it’s fantastic). I think running the pump, etc, adds about 80$ a month to our energy bill, but I couldn’t really say – we put the pool in fairly soon after we moved in so I don’t have a great baseline number to compare – could be more or less. We do our own maintenance – buy a giant tub of chlorine tablets from Costco. Cleaning the filter is a snap. We probably spend a total of 1-2 hours a month on pool maintenance (a little more in the summer, much less in the winter) – I get the attraction of a pool guy, but it’s really been no trouble or time or money to do it ourselves.
You’ll probably attract as many people as you turn off – just as many people that wouldn’t look at your house because it has a pool will likely ONLY look at a house that has a pool. Do what makes your family happy.