Some are intentionally obtuse. I won’t accuse you of that. Get a dictionary, then take your time to reread my posts, and you may get something from them. You clearly lack comprehension when digesting at the rapid rate.
I should probably apologize. I’ve noticed in all of your posts, that there is always something that is just a bit “off”. I shouldn’t have poked a psyche that twenty years on must revisit the real or imagined experiences of youth. Of course my read from your posts was that you were some kind of retired MI SNCO, my mistake trooper.
If you have trouble sleeping, you should probably go down to the VA and “talk” to someone. They have people who will help you there.