[quote=Scarlett]And I compromised on commute, to 45′ instead of 20′ what we both have now (work in La Jolla, rent in UTC).[/quote]
I’d suggest that you get a motel room (or stay with a friend) in Eastlake or similar parts of Chula Vista and try driving to your job one morning during the week–then ask yourself “could I do this everyday?”
I seriously considered moving to Escondido or Temecula at one point when I work(ed) in Sorrento Valley. Getting stuck in WEEKEND traffic in both places during my house hunting trips convinced me that I’d never be able to handle the commute 5 days a week without going all “Falling Down” on my fellow motorists.
Note that a 20 minute commute on city streets (e.g. UTC->La Jolla) is not even remotely similar to a 45 minute commute on a gridlocked freeway. On city streets you are actually moving. Sitting in stop and go traffic crawling along at 5-10 MPH for tens of miles is a lesson in frustration and stress.
My stress level has dropped by a factor of 10 since I started working from home and don’t have to deal with the cluster&$#$ of getting to Sorrento Valley from Mission Valley anymore (and back home).