[quote=scaredyclassic]making more over a one year period or over a 20 year period?
I know a SAHM, who, frankly, is pretty bad at it. she’s been out of the workforce for about 20 years and has become kind of unemployable, based on her mindset, expectations, and general lack of skills.
is the family richer now 20 years out? no. they’re a hell of a lot poorer. there might have been a few good years there for the kids, but IMO they wouldve been better off in day care.
she can get longterm alimony i suppose if they split, but the guy can work under the table, and probably will, and work a lot less, if its all going to her.
seems like the savings were primarily over the first few years, adn the return got smaller and smaller and then went negative.
the other problem of course is when the SAHM truly is not good at it. bad housekeeper, lame with money, not so great with kids, les and less necessary as they get older, spends a lot of money, etc…seems like not a partner. encourages divorce…in its own way…[/quote]
Yes, I agree that there are some bad SAHPs out there, but there are also some bad wage-earners out there, too. Should we all divorce each other just because they don’t live up to our standards, or should we try to work with our spouses in a constructive way to maximize each person’s potential in a relationship. IMO, a lot of bad SAHPs are only doing it because they feel that they are supposed to be doing it; not because they have any particular love or passion for the job. They might contribute more to the family by working outside of the home, or doing something completely out of the ordinary. And there’s no guarantee that this spouse will suddenly become useful by entering the paid workforce, either. If someone is sloppy, uncaring, takes shortcuts, is bad with money/resources, and doesn’t take their work seriously; chance are they will be horrible employees as well. Why do you think they will be better in the paid workforce? There’s a good chance that this type of person will feel even more entitled to spend more if he/she is in the paid workforce and can’t find time to cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc. after work…and will pay/hire others to do these tasks, instead.
I would also argue that a *good* SAHP can be very valuable even when the kids are grown…but the parents start requiring more care. There are often four different parents who will likely need some type of regular care as they get sick and age. Having someone around to care for them (even full-time, if necessary), take them to doctor’s appointments, etc. can take a huge burden off the rest of the family.
