[quote=scaredycat]Paying for grades would be contrary to everything I believe in. Why would I want my kid to focus on his grades rather than the substance of the subject matter? Would it be betetr to ace all one’s spanish tests and not speak a word, or to learn spanish int he streets but get a C on he test. Clearly, reality ttrumps, and grades are a far second to the actual knowledge gained into the subjectmatter, but more important,t he insight gained into one’s self, one’s abilities, one’s limitations — one’s very soul… I don’t care about him fitting into some societal mold, worrying about the status of the particular colleges he might be accepted to, trying to put him in a certain box or on a certain c areer track.. WHy assume he even has an interest in pursuing such a path. Let the journey be fully his. Why not leave him open to the full expanse of humn possibility, let him figure out whether competing for grades is something he wants to do, instead of imposing my worldview on him? Perhaps he will be an independent tradesman,a pool repairman or a plumber or a roofer,, or some other potentially lucrative trade, (but perhaps without the social status I might crave), rather than pursuing some soulless career in a cubicle manipulating information for his masters.
Better to foster an independent spirit, and there is nothing that would quash any burgeoning spirit of indpendence than paying money for a specified level of performance. I might as well pay him to believe in God, or compensate him fianncially for falling in love in the manner which and witha wpartner whom I find appropriate, or give him an extra hunskie if he can demonstrate that he is truly moved by a piece of music; it is that repugnant to human decency.
You cannot control the basis of human emotion and experience, and at its base, money–paying money–is a feeble and pathetic means of trying to exert contorl over this most personal, most critical matter –the matter of the formation fo the self and its relation to society, to learning and to the search for one’s place within society. Money puts him in the position of servant, of employee, and I his master, a truly disgusting way to characterize what shoudl be a partnership toward the discovery and uncovering of the Self.
I make myself sick by even thinking about my prior plan to pay him for grades. Truly repulsive. How could I have even considered such a vile plan? How would I live with myself for distorting the purity of his social and emotional
development. What kind of monstrous, control-freak, adbusive creature am I?
Hey this sounds pretty good! I’m almost convinced! Plus I get to save a few thousand bucks. not bad…[/quote]
Have you ever considered homeschooling or “independent study”?
It sounds to me like your son is perfectly capable of focusing and is intelligent enough to seek out new materials that interest him. Why not ask him what he wants to do in life, and help him work toward those goals?
Some kids, especially the very intelligent ones, feel that high school is a waste of time, and they can easily be drawn into the wrong crowd and the wrong activities. If there are social issues which make him uncomfortable, that might make school even more miserable for him.
Another possible benefit is that a homeschooled/I.S. student can attend a local community college, and those credits can apply to his/her general ed requirements (this was the case many years ago…confirm with someone who knows the details on this).
