[quote=Rich Toscano]I might have to add this to my spdisms list
[quote=Rich Toscano]spdisms
OP: Can anyone recommend a smartphone?
spdrun: You don’t need a smart phone; carry flags for semaphore and build your own mainframe from chicken bones and discarded Atari 2600 parts. NEXT!
OP: How much do you typically pay a gardener?
spdrun: You don’t need a gardener; grow your own topiary maze and painstakingly, over the course of many years, train an army of voles to maintain it. NEXT!
OP: What’s everyone’s favorite pasta recipe?
spdrun: Only chumps eat solid food; you should become a being of pure energy and feed on sound waves. NEXT!
OP: Is this a good time to buy a house?
spdrun: If you live in a house you are an idiot. You should live in your car, which, if it’s not a 1984 Datsun 200SX, you are also an idiot. BOOM! MIC DROP, SMOKE BOMB, EXIT STAGE RIGHT![/quote][/quote]
That is the best laugh I’ve had in a long time. My husband almost spit out his coffee. My incredibly commercialiistic tree is now happily settling into its highly unnatural stand, awaiting, and this is not an exaggeration, the 4000 or so twinkle lights that I put on it each year. I’m sure there are many more socially and environmentally responsible things that I could do with my time and money, but rather than consider that I’m going to go make peanut brittle and Christmas cookies and buy stuff online for my kids. And I’m going to try, likely without success, to get said kids to put a whole bunch of tinsel on the stairway. Spdrun, I’m beyond salvation – but you can go peddle your worldview to others who will appreciate it. Once again – I encourage you to read A Confederacy of Dunces – you’ll appreciate the main character, described in Wikipedia as “—eccentric, idealistic, and creative, sometimes to the point of delusion”. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Confederacy_of_Dunces
