Please forgive my intrusion into a thread I know nothing about, but why are you moving here? I ask because what you have said you want can be found other places too. You work from home, so that isnt an issue. You dont like June Gloom, but dont want heat in the summers either. You want community but dont really care about age. You dont like desert landscaping but are moving to a place that maybe sees 10-15 inches of rain a year. You have a kinda idealistic idea of what your kids want, but prefer a more rural area. You are moving outa Sacramento, which in culture and environment is quite differnt than the areas you are talking about. You have young childern but are closing in on retirment age and have a strong worry about crime and risk your kids may encounter (as every parent does).
May I suggest the Central Coast? Paso Robles, San luis Obispo, Santa Barbara seem more to your professed interests, especially since price seems to be of little worry to you. You could find a great place on a large lot with summer breezes and no fog in the SLO area. This area gets way more rain and has many more of the physical features you profess to enjoy, with all the admenities of beaches and good weather in SoCal. Crime is a joke in these areas and trust me, the cops have NOTHING to do. It is a Great place to grow up as a kid, personal experience, and it has a character that is much more similar to Sacaramento than SD. Plus you are a 3 hour drive from current friends and family instead of a 7 hour drive (not counting LA traffic which is one giant disaster 12 hours a day).
I dont want this to seem a “go away” or anything. If you do move let me be the first to say Hi. I just think sometimes people get an idea into their head, usually something they are casually familiar with, and then never do any more research. I read your post, and everything I heard read SLO way more than North county. Maybe family ties, or spouse reasons lead you to this decision. I have no idea. But if I had the means it seems you do, and the ideas you do, id go there.