[quote=NYMom] . . . we have a 6 and an 8 yr old . . . We are an educated, successful family, but are raising our kids in a very old-fashioned way. We live well below our means and place a high value on family. I want my kids to grow up comfortably, but with an absence of silver spoon entitlement….[/quote]
I just reviewed the OP again. NYMom, if your spouse is flexible on where he lives (I assumed he might be because you researched areas in LA and Orange Counties), may I suggest some alternative Cali locations which offer the lifestyle you’re seeking?
If your kids attend public school in coastal urban CA, there will come a point when they reach MS and HS where they’re going to be small fish in a large pond and start to beg for the same things their peers have and feel like an outcast if they don’t get them (clothing, shoes, accessories, gadgets, etc). This is even MORE pronounced if the school lies in an attendance area where the bulk of its students come from fairly affluent families. There is only so much a parent can do to lower their kid’s constant “expectations” at this age. Every kid needs friends in order to belong. Unless their kid(s) school requires their students to wear uniforms, there is a lot of “competition” among students in the way they dress and look in urban and suburban public high schools in CA (and likely in most of the rest of the country, as well).
Example: the competition can get ridiculous among HS girls, many of whom try to outdo each other with designer handbags (costing $300 – $800 new) and ask to replace them every year! And the list goes on …
Your child is less likely to come in contact with this phenomenon if he/she is enrolled in a private school or a public school in semi-rural or rural area. May I suggest the following CA small cities and towns which may offer the lifestyle you’re looking to bring your kids up in and also have the listing inventory which meets (or almost meets) your requirements? Here are a few suggestions (from south to north):
Julian
Ojai
San Luis Obispo
Aptos
Carmel
Placerville
Healdsburg
Sebastapol
Ukiah
Eureka
If you MUST have an urban setting in SD (the way you are describing it here), then Mission Hills is your best bet, IMO, but send your kids to nearby Catholic HS, where they will wear uniforms and sign academic and behavior contacts and won’t be allowed to engage in all the distracting “competition of superficiality” like they would in public school. You won’t get the lot size there which you are seeking in your price range but SD, unlike suburban/exurban NY, has a lot of diverse free or low-cost recreation available nearby, making it completely unnecessary for a family to have a large, lavish (and expensive) entertainment-type backyard. (Water and electricity are both VERY expensive in SD County.)
