CA Renter – don’t you have a group of women you like to hang around with? Book club (or as my husband calls it, drinking club), hiking group, bunko, whatever?. I’m perfectly comfortable hanging out with mixed groups, or even groups of men (my profession is becoming more mixed, but I was the token female when I started), but I am most at ease with a group of female friends (and these days, frankly, female friends who are also moms). I feel like it’s a matter of common experience. I don’t see misogyny.[/quote]
I have female friends, but we either hang out in mixed-gender groups, or spend time one-on-one, as I do with some of my male friends. I have never in my life spent time with an all-female group where men were intentionally excluded. Some of my female friends do hang out in groups like this, and they have invited me to join them, but I don’t hang out in groups that exclude others (whether it’s based on gender, gender preference, race, ethnicity, religion, political affiliation, age, physical ability, etc.), so I always politely decline the invitation.
I’ve always enjoyed people who come from different backgrounds and who bring different perspectives to the table. Age is another big one where I think people are missing the boat; older people bring a wealth of knowledge and experience with them, but many people tend to exclude them because they “aren’t cool.” My DH and I have friends who range in age from young adulthood to people in their 80s and 90s. There is only one trait that I will use to exclude others, and that is if someone is of bad character/not a good person — a person who seeks to exploit or take advantage of others, who is inconsiderate of others, or who looks down on those who might be in a less advantageous position in life.
As for having common experience, I’ve often found that I have more in common with men than with women. Along the same lines, over half of my closest female friends are childless; some married, some single. Perhaps it’s because I don’t really focus on the day-to-day personal stuff in conversation. I like to talk about issues like we do here on Piggington’s (a perfect example of the type of group I like to hang out with in real life, which is why I’ve spent over a decade here and on other similar sites). Even my conversations with my DH tend to be more like the conversations we have here.
