Navydoc – How is “love” being cynical? I have basically said that the real reason men and women are together is for and out of love.
I do not think that women who are w/men for money are happy. I fundamentally honestly and truly believe that money does not buy happiness.
I stripped away all the “reasons” that are claimed. Some men like the Daves of the world or paranoid men overestimate their “need” which they claim is for money and sperm. Although in a loving relationship these would all make the package complete, in reality, in today’s world, women are not so helpless that this is a “need.”
Now, “want” is something entirely different.
As far as a single parent versus two, if both parents are good parents, that is the ideal situation, of course, and I won’t argue or dispute that. Now if one parent is an alcholic or drug addict or physically, mentally, emotionally or psychologically abusive, is this an ideal situation for a child to be raised in just b/c the number of parents is 2? Or would a single parent be better in that type of situation?
Since most men are less inclined to have children, should women who want children but have not met any men who desire that, should they just shrivel up and die or suffer a solitary barren existence? If they are financially able and want children and can provide a loving, selfless life for her child, w/care and nurturing and education and social life w/activities, why would that be a bad thing?
I say that environment is far better than that of a marriage gone bad staying together “for the children” as if the children cannot sense the love is gone and perhaps resentment felt in the home, perhaps anger and unhappiness.
You say: “From my experiences working at inpatient child psych wards, virtually ALL of those kids come from dysfunctional families, the majority single parent.”
Some dysfunctional families can be 2 parents raising a child. Some divorces occur b/c of the aforementioned reasons, alcohol, physical abuse, etc, in which case, I believe divorce is a better alternative, especially for the safety of the child, physically, mentally and emotionally.
You say: “You’re simply much less likely to do drugs, commit a violent crime, drop out of school, etc. if you come from a stable family”
Key is “stable.” Also it is now medically proven that alcoholism is hereditary. I believe the inclination to be an addict is a physical problem. Two children can be raised in the same household environment and one can have the propensity to be an alcoholic or a drug addict, regardless of how healthy a home/family environment is.
I do not believe that genetically women are the problem in wanting and raising children. Their natural tendency is to care and nurture. But your comment regarding “family values” should apply to men of today since a greater percentage are shunning having children. I do not fault a women to make a decision to have a baby if that is her desire.
Back in the day if a woman “accidentally” got pregnant, the noble father would marry her. This has lead to unhappy marriages and dysfunctional children.
Back to my original point. LOVE. If two people love each other and both decide to have a child or children, that is the ideal situation for themselves and the kids.
BUT on the other hand, I also believe that men don’t have one up on women b/c of money and sperm. The Daves of the world can go on to have a childless life. That is apparently accepted as ok. Why would it not be ok if a woman decides to make a conscious decision to have a child on her own. I don’t think this makes her a bad parent at all, in fact, the contrary. Much more devoted.
