My parents must have been from the same school as eaves’ and CAR’s…
I knew from a young age that at 18 I had better be in school, full time, in a degree that would get me a job… or working. And if it was the latter, I could live at home, with rules, if I contributed to the household. Otherwise I could use my earnings to pay my own way.
I chose the last option because I wasn’t ready for college. Best decision I ever made. Eventually I went to school, and my parents did help me with tuition/books. But there were strings attached.
Prior to turning 18 – it was understood that chores came before fun. That was a non-negotiable. The line that all my friends were out playing didn’t cut it with my parents.
Because of these chores and responsibilities my siblings and I were pretty self reliant when we moved out. We could all cook, change oil on a car, knew basic sewing (mending), knew how to do laundry and cleaning, could do basic repairs… (chores incorporated all these things.).
I’m raising my kids with the same expectations. And they’re getting one more lesson – care for elderly family. We take care of my in-laws… and the boys are part of that process… helping their grandmother with her trash, keeping an eye on grandpa if she needs some time to get stuff done, etc.
I won’t kick my kids out if they are contributing to the household. I’ll do it in a heartbeat if they start acting entitled to life on a silver platter. I’m fine with multi-generational family. But, IMO, if parents do their job right, the kids *want* to move out at some point to try life outside the nest. My job as a parent is to give them the skills and motivation to survive on their own. If they’re sitting at home, while I shelter, feed, do laundry… practically wipe their butt – I’m not doing my job.
As far as 18 being an arbitrary age… Yes… but it’s the age you can *legally* kick them out if they don’t follow the household rules.
