My dad might have had Alzheimers so I don’t find it a laughing matter, I was just laughing at the (intended?) humor in your post.
BTW the “ghost in the machine” which keeps track of all your contributions uses your SSN… every bank account, every IRA deposit, every tax payment, etc. goes on a record the IRS can look up using your SSN. Who knows whether they keep close watch, but they can if they want to so it’s best to keep track.
