IMHO, there is a very simple solution to the “adult kids living at home (and not paying for it) syndrome: charge rent, and refuse to do any of their chores for them.
Maybe my parents were messed-up, but we were required to pay rent/utililties as soon as we were able to get our work permits. It was a small amount, about $100-$150/mo, but we also bought our own food, clothing, cars, gas, insurance, etc. If we didn’t pay rent, we paid the utility bills. If we ever borrowed money from our parents, we had to pay it back **with interest.** We were doing our own laundry when we were around 10 years old (washing, folding, putting away), and were expected to clean up after ourselves, as well as do general household cleaning, for as long as I can remember. Heck, my own kids (9,8, and 5) are expected to put their own laundry away, clean up their own messes, and help change their bedding, etc.
Oddly enough, I never resented my parents for any of this. It gave me a tremendous sense of independence and the feeling that I could always take care of myself (however true or untrue it might have been at the time). I believe that the stage is set from a very early age, and that parents who expect their kids to fully participate in the household community will generally have kids who are competent and able to take care of themselves when they are adults.
Do these indulgent parents actually think they are doing their kids a favor by never expecting them to contribute anything to their own care?
