If you are currently living in South Bay (SD County?), I don’t understand why you can’t walk in the neighborhood without your spouse present. Plenty of people do, including walking their dogs … even at night and also while pregnant! Maybe I misunderstood and you can but you feel you will have to vacate soon due to the ill health and possibly imminent death of the owner. Why don’t you remind your landlords that their property tax will be very low (likely just $100’s per yr) if they hang onto the property and rent it to you for a few more years and that they will lose this low assessment forever if they sell it? Ask them for a 5-year lease. That is what renters of single family homes in LA County are successfully doing … and getting … right and left!
The lot and home you are looking for DOES exist in 91911 and 91910 in South County SD. Unfortunately, I don’t see you finding it in South County SD for =<$400K .... UNLESS it is a heavier fixer than you are capable of DIYing (rotted subfloor; needs jacked up on a corner; heavy dry rot; eaves, roof and underlayment need replacing, etc) OR it is located in NC (91950, both city and unincorporated). I am a woman who would feel safe walking alone or with my dog on most NC streets and NC is only 5-6 miles from Lindbergh Field!
harvey mentioned Temecula but that is 72-75 miles from where you currently reside and it may not be feasible for your family to consider (way too far from airports, etc).
I would suggest you also consider El Cajon (92020/92021), Santee or Lakeside for the same type of house/lot you can find in National City and Chula Vista in your price range. However it would tend to be slightly newer (mid/late '60's as opposed to '40's thru early '60's in South County) and slightly larger (1400-1500 sf as opposed to 1100-1200 sf in South County). El Cajon and Lakeside have the lot size you are looking for. Santee may have a few larger lots BUT they would likely surround a county compound which houses the Las Colinas Women's Detention Facility among other ugly behemoth county agencies. It's isn't very pretty around there and it is very warm because it is surrounded on nearly 3 sides by hills which tend to block low-lying pollution into this micro area. In addition, the area is poorly zoned (industrial/comm'l mixed with residential). Most of the other areas of Santee are going to have HOAs and even MR.
If you can go as high as $435-$460K, I think you could find something you could work with (over a period of months/years after moving in) in SD South County and you could stay in your cooler (and much more convenient) general area.
