I would vote for #1 along with your husband. I am conservative, and don’t want to deal with any of the stress of this type of thing. I’m not the expert, but I read an article somewhere (maybe Time) in the last week that followed up on 3 couples who took the walk away option. They all seem to be living with family because of credit problems. I know your option/plan would be to buy first, so maybe this isn’t a concern. But its always the unexpected that creates the hardship. Who know, credit cards, car loans, etc. Maybe increased rates on loans that will equal or exceed the $40k over the next 10 years.
In your description you seem to have treated the properties as investments. You made $80k by selling one property. You may lost up to $40k on another. So you still gain $40k for taking the risks, which isn’t too bad. So another way to look at this is that you purchased a number of investments, and came out ahead.
I wouldn’t choose to just take a loss first, but try to work with the bank and see if there are any options they will accept.
My opinion will undoubtedly be the most unpopular on this board. In my defense, my behavior/beliefs have worked extremely well for me financially.
