I give my kids the option of having a bday party with friends (always have a small one with fam regardless), going somewhere, or getting a bigger gift for their bday. I’m SO pleased they have chosen to not have parties for several years now. And honestly, giving my kids this option has shown me that those parties weren’t exactly loads of fun for them if they always choose option 2 or 3 now. How many times have you been at a huge, extravagent child’s bday party and the bday girl/boy is crying?
Flu, I pretty much agree with your #’s. My girls are very close in age and all 3 tend to get invited to parties so in that case I either get 3 smaller items or 1 bigger ticket item. As far as the charity bit, the party is supposed to be for the child and until they are older I would think most kids wouldn’t get the point of that. I have also seen baby showers and bday party invites telling me to donate to their kid’s savings in lieu of gifts. Ok, practical I guess and ultimately it will be for the child but sorry, that’s pretty tacky too. (And frankly knowing a lot of parents around here it wouldn’t surprise me if that $ wasn’t going to the child anyway.)