I am an SD native who left the area for college, then moved back ~3 years ago before again moving to NYC in order to get my kids some medical attention not available in SoCal.
My 2c on this issue…
I most recently spent 2+ years living in Carmel Valley and working nearby. My kids are not yet school age but will be soon. I like SD, including some of the communities mentioned in this thread, but they all have a major disadvantage: if you live on an acre+ in a gated suburban community, getting ANYthing done requires getting yourself and your kids into a car a driving several miles.
From my own observations I would echo what others here have said, which is that kids and especially teenagers in these communities DO NOT hang out at the community centers within the gated communities mentioned (Santa Luz, Fairbanks, etc). For the most part I see teens hanging out at the beach communities or at the shopping centers nearest their schools, and younger kids seem to spend a lot of time at organized activities at the various community rec centers.
There is nothing wrong with that (I s’pose it’s what I did growing up in the area) but the downside is that once your kids reach a certain age (and that age seems to be falling…), they will either demand their own wheels or they will require that a parent or other helper chauffeur them about the neighborhood. From RSF or Santa Luz to ANYwhere is a couple of miles…too far for most kids to walk and given the way people drive I would not want my kids on bikes / skateboards on those roads.
Even in relatively cramped CV, I enjoyed having a bit of personal space but my wife and I were endlessly frustrated by having to jump in the car to pick up a 1/2 gallon of milk, Chinese food, for ‘playdates’, trips to the pediatrician, a drink after a long day…anything.
That’s maybe more than the 2c promised…long story short, if somehow we found ourselves back in SD we’d probably end up buying either in La Jolla or Del Mar or Solana Beach and putting up with June gloom and a relatively small lot in exchange for being closer to services. NYC is not exactly my cup of tea, but having lived in the ‘burbs in the Bay Area and SD, I can see very easily the advantages in being able to walk or ride to basic services here. Especially if you have young kids.
