I ain’t a parent – which is a blessing for both me and society as a whole – but it seems to me that you just want your progeny to be content (“happy” sets too high a bar), ultimately. And my guess is that if you focus your efforts on your kids being intellectually curious, disciplined and creative… then they’ve got good odds of figuring out how to be content.
Having said that, I think focusing on schools, gifted programs, grades, etc. is largely a waste of time (and often money). Admittedly, however, this is based on anecdotal evidence from my own life – albeit substantial anecdotal evidence. An extreme example follows.
I have a friend that’s a very high IQ genius – like 170+. Very engaging guy, not at all a geek or in any way socially awkward. Started reading at 2. Attended an expensive, high-fallutin’ private school for K-12 and then went to UVA as an Echols Scholar and graduated with a 4.0. Was accepted into MIT’s graduate program for physics (he ultimately declined). Brilliant guy. But completely unfocused and a little bit lazy. Today, he’s 41 and unemployed. Has done many different kinds of jobs, most recently freelance graphic design. I would be shocked if he’s ever made more than $50K/year. And he’s not the happiest camper at this point. He’s had every advantage life has to offer – genetic, cultural and socioeconomic – but just can’t get his shit together. I’ve seen a number of other folks with similar backgrounds – although less extreme examples – suffer the same fate.
The cliche that, “The “A” (grade) kids work for the “B” kids who work for the company owned by the kids who got C’s,” isn’t completely without some basis in fact.
By definition most people are of about average intelligence and motivation. May as well get your kids used to socializing with these folks as early as possible.
The emphasis on grades, SATs, colleges, etc… pretty much a waste of time, energy and money in my view.
