HI Amy,
Original sdr here (just want to make sure you know there is a difference. I actually live in the exact area you have described. I pretty much SD R thoughts on timing but you never really know how quickly things will adjust. Here’s a couple thoughts for you. If you want a newer home, cookie cutter tract homes (albeit very nice cookie cutter tract homes) will be difficult to avoid. Aviara is nothing but tract homes, unless you have a couple million for Aviara Point. Carmel Valley is a great location but larger lots are tough to find and you can expect to pay $100K to $200K for the same size home that generally wont be as well built or as highly upgraded. Most of CV was/will be built by Pardee Homes which are no better than average among tract builders. CV also tends to be a bit too pretentious for my tastes but that is really a personal preference.
If you can, stay south of La Costa Avenue which will place you in the Encinitas/San Dieguito school districts. That’s where you want to be based upon what you described.
There are many different communities to choose from and each has some very specific pluses/minuses. Your background and lifestyle makes a big difference as to what you would or wouldnt like. Make sure you do proper research to find the right one. Your price range also will go a long way in determining the best place for your family. The harsh reality is that even with a major correction, this will always be a relatively expensive place to live.