Here is where he wrote about giving 35-45% in his marriage.
[quote=zk]
Yeah, thanks for the marital advice, divorced lady.
Obviously you missed this from a previous post of mine:
[quote=zk] But, hey, to make a marriage work, you have to work together and compromise. I do most of the giving in this particular area, but she more than makes up for it in other areas. [/quote] So, no, I’m not giving 97% in our relationship. I’m probably giving 35-45% overall. My wife is stronger than I am and able to give more. My wife is an amazing woman, and I’m extremely lucky to have her. We’ve been married 18 years and I’m happier than ever. We know how to make a marriage work. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, bg.
[quote=bearishgurl]
WOW, zk, it looks like you may have dumped about $100K?? in your backyard so you could comfortably entertain your friends! If you don’t mind my asking, did that ~$100K come from your salary? Or maybe your spouse’s salary?? Is the property half yours (half yours and half your spouse’s)? [/quote]
I don’t see it in terms of who owns what percentage. It’s my family’s house.
[quote=bearishgurl]
At the time you were dumping big bucks into your BY, were you aware that your spouse would later insist on you only being able to entertain just six people at a time? [/quote]
It was discussed at the time, and it was a point of contention. Concessions and compromises were made, many of them going my way and having nothing to do with the yard or the entertaining. We worked it out. That’s what people in successful marriages do.
[/quote]
It is obvious that the 97% figure was referring specifically to the extent to which he changed his cleaning habits; he is NOT claiming to give 97% in the marriage.
BG, you have a funny way of looking at marriage and the different roles people play in their marriages…roles that they decide for themselves will work best for their particular circumstances. Every family will have different wants, needs, abilities, and contributions from the different family members. It’s not for the rest of us to judge them as long as it works for them. It’s their business, not ours.
FWIW, in almost every marriage that I know of where the couple lives like roommates (dividing up income and expenses like roommates) instead of an actual family unit, has failed or is close to failing. It shows a total lack of commitment, IMHO. In all of the strongest, happiest marriages I know, both partners think and act in terms of a unit. Successful marriages take work, and they require both people to think of each other as their #1 advocate, partner, and team member in life. An adversarial arrangement (mine vs yours) sets up the marriage for failure, IMO.
