Here is my 2 cents. There are several studies that show there is no real change in academic performance of children going to private vs public. It always qualifies this statement by looking at children with similar income levels and parents educational level. Keep your retirement!!
My brother who sends his kids to one of the best schools in McClean Va hit the nail on the head when he said, “Aren’t we really sending our kids to school for socialization.”
I come from a family of 5 kids and we went to very average or below average schools. My dad has a PHD and my mom a masters. All 5 kids graduated with a 4 year degree. All three brothers have advanced degrees. Pediatric Specialist, PHD, and Masters in Information Systems.
My son attended pre-school at All Saints in UC and I was amazed at all the kids Curie sent back each year because they were not “ready for kindergarten”. IMHO Curie seemed to be a little obsessive about levels and being the best. Some of the parents seemed a little stressed.
If you are sending your kids to Curie and you are supplementing stuff after school. I think your kids will naturally be above the curve.
As for your friend. If the parents are off the charts smart. It is likely their children will be that way whether they send them to Carmel Valley or Poway. I think they should visit a few of the schools to get a feel for what works best with their idea of a school. I find you usually get a feeling beyond the scores that will tell you which is right for your family.