You and your wife deserve a lot of credit for the sacrifices you both are making for the benefit of your children. There is a lot of misinformation out there about homeschooling, and you know that you’re doing the right thing for your kids. Anyone who thinks a stay-at-home spouse doesn’t work has never done it before…and I’d bet good money on that. We also homeschool, and our kids have excelled socially and academically.
Ocrenter is right about a second income not really amounting to much if it’s not significantly over six figures. After taxes, daycare, auto expenses (gas, insuranace, maintenance and accelerated car purchases), clothing, food (you’ll eat out more), etc. it’s really not worth it even from a purely financial perspective.
There were so many good comments here, and I agree that the pressure is coming from within yourself.
IMHO, kids do not need to go to elite colleges. If they excel in a particular area, many Ivy League schools will offer full scolarships and other financial assistance, so that’s one thing to consider. Other than that, the kids can go to local colleges (J.C. to state university) and work on campus where they can earn extra money and often qualify for discounts on tuition and books.
You do not need to have your house paid off before the kids go to college. Hopefully, it can be paid off before you retire. IMHO, your retirement should take priority over college savings. I know that sounds harsh, but they will have multiple options while you will not; and you will not have the opportunity for a “do-over” once you’re near retirement age.
You are trying to do too much at once (start side businesses, pay off large debts, save for college, save for retirement, pay off house early) and it will obviously affect your health. Slow down, simplify, and lower your standards for yourself. Realize that you cannot control everything, and let life just “happen” while making more **flexible** plans.
I’d say your best options would be:
1. Sell the home and buy a much less expensive one. Save the cash left over for your retirement and start saving for college from your income.
2. Sell your home and rent locally or look at different areas of the country that have a lower cost of living.
3. Refinance your home at these ultra-low rates for 30 years. Make sure there are no pre-payment penalties, and you can use any “extra” money to accelerate principal payments. This way, you can still pay it off early IF that works for you, but you also have the flexibility to pay over time and enjoy life more.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, and please try to find more time to relax and enjoy your family.
