[quote=davelj]
Perhaps. I could give you the benefit of the doubt here in a lot of cases.
Let me ask you this, because I’m curious – I’m assuming you’re married, right? I can’t recall from the threads, but I think so – assuming your husband occasionally wants to sleep with some other woman, but doesn’t want to leave the marriage, why not just let him? If you care about his happiness – which I assume you do – why not let him screw around occasionally if he’s discreet about it? Likewise, why not ask him to let you do the same (again, using discretion)?
I’ve never understood what the big deal was about sex. As long as no one brings a disease back to the house or ends up with another child… it’s just another physical activity at the end of the day. Not unlike playing tennis. I’m not saying folks should join “the Lifestyle” (as folks I know who are in call it), but discreet, safe sex outside a marriage… why is it such a big deal? Well, but for the fact that our culture has deemed it so…[/quote]
Dave,
In a world where at least 25% of young people have an STD, you’re taking some awfully big chances that you’re not going to bring something home. Considering the fact that people who cheat with married people are much more likely to have STDs than those who refrain from “free love,” and your odds of staying disease-free are pretty small. Then, there’s always the unwanted pregnancies… You think Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, etc., etc. weren’t smart enough or rich enough to avoid getting someone pregnant? If they can make that “mistake,” I assure you, Joe Sixpack is at least as likely to get into trouble, eventually.
There’s a difference between “the fantasy” vs. the desire to actually sleep with other women/men. The fantasy is always positive and never has negative outcomes (broken families, diseases, unexpected pregnancies, mental instability, etc.). Reality rarely matches that fantasy.
When faithful, married men look at other women and think, “I’d like to tap that,” he’s thinking about the fantasy. The faithful ones don’t act upon those thoughts because they understand the reality.
It’s very much like fantasizing about threesomes or other lifestyles (bi, swinging, etc.). Lots of people might like to fantasize, but very few would actually like the reality of that lifestyle.
In the vast majority of situations I’m aware of, a cheating spouse is rarely happy with the ultimate outcome(s) of their infidelity. Smart people understand this, and refrain from cheating so they don’t have to deal with all the drama that usually results.
