[quote=CA renter]
Many people wouldn’t trade their marriages for anything in the world.
The best advice one could give young kids is to choose your partner wisely, paying special attention to their integrity, honesty, communication skills, and whether or not they are selfish or considerate.
Probably the biggest misconception out there is that you can lead two completely different lives and still have a **happy** marriage. Marriage is different from being single, and people need to be prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to make it work…because the end result will be something that is much greater and far better than what can be achieved as an individual, IMHO.[/quote]
50%+ of marriages end in divorce. Of the 50% that remain married, many remain so under duress – that is, it’s either too expensive or inconvenient to end the marriage. I’ve seen various surveys that suggest between 40% and 60% of married men have cheated on their wives. My suspicion is that majority of the remaining men are incapable of carrying on an affair for all sorts of reasons, which is why they don’t cheat. (To quote philosopher Chris Rock: “A man is only as faithful as his options.” Plenty of men simply don’t have good opportunities to be unfaithful.)
So, if you cull through the stats, I’d guess that maybe 10% of all married couples stay truly happy for long periods of time. Which, frankly, isn’t too bad given the constraints of the institution. But, let’s not kid ourselves – as you pointed out – marriage involves a lot of sacrifices. Most humans aren’t good with sacrifices – particularly those of the life-long variety – which is why marriage tends to disappoint.
So, when you say, “Many people wouldn’t trade their marriages for anything in the world,” I think in absolute numbers you’re right. There are a lot of married folks, after all. But in percentage terms it’s probably not that high. I know a lot of married men who would LOVE to get out of their marriages but it’s just too much hassle. And I’m sure their wives think everything’s hunky dory. They’re good actors.
Of course, a lot of one’s “happiness” in a marriage is determined by one’s core personality type. Many personality types – extraverts, for example – need someone around or they’re uneasy. Marriage is one solution to this need. Introverts, on the other hand, can find marriage a living hell. Having someone around all the time is a major drain. So, some of one’s happiness – or lack thereof – with marriage is already baked into the genetic cake.
