[quote=CA renter][quote=Blogstar]My youngest blogstar jr. Is going to be 8 in dec.
My kids do not need a two parent household let alone a sahp. It has nothing to do with them. They get zero benefit out of my wife and I sharing a bedroom and little out of us sharing the rest of the house day after day.
What they need,
More and better mentoring. More quality time with peers and to continue to know both biological untts are crazy about them and will always be there.
What they need from their mom and I they could get with us living in separate households if we didn’t break up in a melodramatic fool fashion and play stupid hate games and victim games for years on end.
That’s not to say I am anti-family but at this point where reasonableness and respect would be involved anyway , it’s not that important.[/quote]
You are 100% wrong. EVERY study shows that children suffer when their parents split up, with the possible exception of very abusive households or where severe addictions are involved.
When parents split up, the “family pie” is split up. A child’s physical and financial security is almost always made more vulnerable, and they will often shift to a lower SES as a result. They would also have to deal with having mom and dad show up at “joint” birthday parties, holiday events, school plays, etc. with their new mates/spouses, and while I think there are **a very few** parents who can make this work (we know some families where the ex and new wives and/or husbands hang out together, along with all of the various in-laws), the kids will always feel a bit awkward, especially if one of the parents doesn’t have a mate while the other one does.
And then, there’s the issue of family planning, where the children will almost always have a worse outcome if the parents remarry after divorce, not to mention if they have more kids.
Again, you really need to do some research instead of pulling your opinions out of your behind.[/quote]
Adding to this (and there is SO much more!), as parents age, children will possibly have to care for two parents in different places if the parent’s haven’t remarried people who will nurse them through their illnesses and into old age. When parents stay married, they usually manage to take care of one another, which greatly reduces the burden on adult children who might be dealing with children of their own.
And then you have to deal with the nomadic children if parents have joint physical custody. As a teacher, it was significant to me to hear EVERY child of divorce refer to their residences as “my mom’s house” or “my dad’s house.” They never called it their own home. This was before I was married with children, so there was no bias there. It really stuck with me.
If nomadic living were so great, and if parents REALLY cared about the children’s best interests, then they would suck it up and agree to Birdnesting Custody where the parents live nomadic lives and the children stay in the same place. Needless to say, most parents don’t go for this, and of those who do, it usually doesn’t last long. Funny how most divorced parents think nothing of creating chaos in their children’s lives so that they can have the more ordered and satisfactory lives for themselves.
