[quote=Blogstar][quote=CA renter][quote=Blogstar]The making a family stage is the easiest as far as maintaining a pair bond. Kids are consciousness altering for the better even it they do poop their diapers all the time .
Loyalty is an interesting topic and thanks to CaRenter I am considering the possibility of getting kicked to the curb when the kids are out of the house in about 10 years. Never really trust anyone. Thanks CaRenter! You have spoken well for your gender.[/quote]
I must have missed something here. Why do you think you’ll be kicked to the curb in 10 years? And how did I convince you of that?
It wasn’t about me in particular but somewhere in this thread people were talking about 7 year itch and
…
And as far as kids making it easier to bond with your spouse…the fact that you say that means that you’re probably an excellent father and husband (which I’ve always assumed about you, BTW). But all too often, making babies is where the rubber meets the road; and far too many males start heading for the exit, either directly (straight abandonment) or indirectly (by becoming such a repulsive, selfish louse that he essentially forces the wife to divorce him) once the babies are born.[/quote]
It wasn’t about me in particular but somewhere in this thread people were talking about 7 year itch and 20 year ditch and you mentioned that women often choose a break-up after the kids are out of the house. Nice. The man got to be a sperm donor and then was deceived as to his worth until he was needed less. Out sucker!
As far as men becoming lousy obnoxious losers and abandoners after kids, I think you mean it becomes evident at this time that the water seeking it’s own level didn’t blend well? Why do you usually paint women and union workers as the biggest victims in life? Currently, I see at least as many seriously defective young mothers as fathers.
It makes sense that men are less relevant , or even easily seen as inadequate as Scaredy points out, after the kids get a few years on them.
More so post industrial revolution than before. 100 + years ago a wife might see a man as important in the mentoring of her children to run the farm or learn the family trade but now, Kahn academy does that important stuff….what are we good for ?[/quote]
Okay, had to re-read the thread to find that post from from May 3rd, on page 5. 😉
I didn’t say that women were the victims, either. I said that many women seek a divorce when the kids are grown because they are tired of living for other people and want to “find themselves.” That’s not making them out to be victims.
Nothing I wrote suggested that you would be irrelevant when the kids are grown. And it’s not just women who want a divorce after decades of marriage and child-rearing. Surely, you’re aware of the stereotypical divorces where men leave their first wives of many decades for a “new model.”
FWIW, men are not at all useless or irrelevant if they are good husbands and fathers. To the contrary, they are the most valuable men in the world, IMO. Most women would give everything they have to find a man who would be a good and loyal husband and father. (I certainly hope scaredy is joking with these comments about women thinking that good fathers/husbands are irrelevant!)
And while I agree that there are plenty of women who are bad spouses and parents, the vast majority of parents who abandon their families are men. My DH and my mother were both abandoned by their biological fathers, and my DH was then abandoned by his adoptive (formerly step) father, too. I’ve known so many people who were abandoned by their fathers that I can’t even count them all. In the black community, abandonment by fathers is an epidemic. I don’t know a single person who was abandoned by their mother, though I have heard two stories about “friends of friends of friends” where this has happened.
