You have young kids. Why waste a good portion of your life on the freeway?? Try 92019 where you will find plenty of properties which meet your requirements.
Vista Grande, incl. Vista Grande Elem, Hillsdale Middle and Valhalla High (including Monarch Ridge HOA)
Steele Cyn (Mello-Roos prevalent), incl. Jamacha
Elem, Hillsdale Middle and Steele Cyn High
Also 91941 (NE foot of Mt. Helix), Fuerte Drive (north side has higher, safer lots) or Fuerte Farms, incl. Fuerte Elem, La Mesa Middle and Grossmont High
All excellent schools!! Your commute would likely be 12 minutes tops on surface sts.
If you can make this good of a living working in East County and can obviously afford the A/C, why not stay there? You probably already know that it’s a great place to raise a family (in the right spots). Just my .02.
Edit: I am noticing here that you prefer a one-level large ranch or mediterranean. This is all the more reason why you should look in eastern 91941 and 92019 where these types of properties abound. Also, you stated you do not want a big lot. For as much sf as you are looking for on one level, IMHO, it is unrealistic to expect to purchase a property with a lot size any smaller than 12K to 14K sf.
