[quote=6packscaredy][quote=CA renter][quote=6packscaredy]Short term alimony not so bad. Longterm Or lifetime alimony feels like it motivates ineptitude and victimhood.
Basically when you get Married you need a real heavy duty partner.
Anything less, skip it.[/quote]
Lots of SAHPs are real heavy duty partners. They do EVERYTHING around the house, and take care of all the family members’ needs in addition to raising well-behaved, responsible, successful children. Many times, they end up taking care of the children, grandchildren, and parents/in-laws over many years.
This is in no way equivalent to “not working,” and it should never be treated or referred to as such.[/quote]
true. But there’s plenty I know where the dude comes home to fucking crazy town and the SAhm is like fuck it your shift and he’s doing child stuff and throwing dinner and laundry together and wondering what the Fucks been going on all day.
probably the SAhm is actuslky busy all day but it’s not like some tight ship in every sahp housrhold. Many suck at the job, just like regular workers suck…Low energy, inefficient etc…
plus shitloads of complaining….leading up to divorce and longterm financial payouts…[/quote]
Yes, I’ve seen these households, too. But understand that there are pros and cons to every situation. Personally, I’m known for running a very tight ship (always have, both professionally and in my personal life). Fortunately, my husband and I both like the same things and have the same beliefs and philosophies regarding running a household and parenting. But part of having a wife (or husband) who runs a tight ship is dealing with a very controlling personality; it’s part of that personality profile. I’m very friendly and loving, but have very specific expectations of everybody (including myself), and I handle all the cleaning, shopping, bills, medical/dental stuff, manage all the finances/investments (and have made well into the six digits over the past decade or so just from this), handle all legal matters, general household work, etc. And, as you know, I manage all of our childrens’ academic work — classes, curriculum, extracurricular activities, etc. — because we homeschool. It really gets me fired up when I hear someone insinuate that I “don’t work” or that my contributions aren’t worth anything because I’m a SAHP.
A husband who wants to come home to a wife who has no rules or expectations from him (things like: no shoes, pick up everything you put down, a place for everything and everything in its place, behavioral expectations, etc.), will not likely be able to have a wife who has a well-run, highly functional household.
There are many women (and men) out there who are very artistic, crafty, and creative. This can be incredibly valuable where children are concerned, especially. But these spouses are more likely to have chaotic, messy households with children running around all over the place; and dinner may or may not be there…or might consist of Goldfish crackers and apples with peanut butter. These women (and men) will probably be more laid-back and relaxed, and will not have as many expectations of their spouses. But these spouses are every bit as hard-working as the more functional, organized spouses with well-mannered children and clean homes.
Of course, as you’ve noted, there are some spouses who truly are pretty worthless. Who stay home, even when the kids are at school, and still can’t manage to do even the most basic cleaning or manage laundry or shopping, etc. I’m not making excuses for them.
