[quote=Blogstar]I am sorry CArenter, A family woman claiming to need escape from being “tired of living for other people” is very much playing the victim. Nobody made her get married to that sperm donor and have babies. OMG. I think people would have to have other reasons, selfish or not, because this excuse is shameful. Better to just say anything else as a reason.

I can’t speak to your wedding vows but “tired of living for other people” isn’t part of most couples agreements.

I do , solemnly swear that unless I get tired of living for other people…blah , blah blah…[/quote]

Russ, I’m talking about what *other* women say about the reasons for their divorces. Personally, my DH is my very best friend in the world. There is nobody on this planet that I would rather spend my time with. He is also perfectly capable of talking about feelings, if need be. His ability to communicate is one of the many reasons I married him.

That being said, there are many men out there who “fake it” until they are married (just like men will claim that women fake something until they get married). There are many men who act as though they care about their GF’s feelings, and act as though there is nothing more important than their loving relationship, until that wedding ring is on. I’ve seen this in multiple situations.

As you should know, it’s impossible to grasp how much work and sacrifice is involved when a couple decides to have children and form a family. Some people jump right into their new roles and love every minute of it, but others are blown away by the level of responsibility and work that are required to run a household and nurture a healthy family. If one parent doesn’t participate, the other spouse is left with a TON of work that very few would be willing to sign on for if they could foresee what they were getting into when they got married and had kids.

All too often in these situations, a woman expects to marry a *partner* in the marriage, but ends up with someone who thinks that life should continue as if they (men only, of course) were single. While a man might work 8-10 hours/day, M-F, the woman is working 24 hours/day, all week long…especially when the children are little. If the husband takes her work for granted, especially if he acts as though he’s doing her a favor by “letting” her work in the home, then there is bound to be some major resentment. And if the man thinks that his hobbies, interests, activities, etc. will continue as though nothing has changed, then the wife is likely to resent it.

I think you need to reevaluate your perspective, too, since you seem to think that men are more often the “victims” of marriage.