A friend of mine decided on artificial grass during his remodel after a long, involved process of pushing beans around in little piles, calculating theoretical savings based on reduced water usage, reduced gardening cost, opportunity cost of reclaimed time spent watering and gardening… etc.

Now for the reality… his lawnmower was only worth $20 on craigslist, his fake lawn uses more water than his real lawn as his kids spray it down to cool it down 10 times a day during the summer to play on it, and all that time savings is now spent walking the dumb dog around the neighborhood to get it to poop in other peoples grass as it won’t set foot on the plastigrass.

Sometimes I wonder if the people pushing the plastigrass have ever actually used plastigrass.