Thanks bearishgurl, I appreciate the feedback.
You are right on a number of things.
Th only reasons I had mentioned the “stipulation and order” with a right to be reimbursed $85k from my ex-wife is to justify why I ended up signing the Deed of Trust.
These $85k are gone and I never counted on getting it back. It was money that disappeared in a bad investment (real estate). Yes if there was $100K of equity on the condo, I would probably get $85k back but it’s not the case.
And I am not going to fight with my ex-in-laws over this money. They operate as a bank. They gave us a loan the same way Bank of America gave us a loan. BofA doesn’t care about who paid what at the time of purchase.
It’s true that my ex doesn’t have a lot of assets. The only real assets are things (mostly land) that she inherited before even getting married.
She has been employed the whole time except when she was in rehab and right after she got off (about 4 months total).
I was able to trace part of the funds ($85k out of $100k) without any issue. This money was sitting in my bank account in France. Right before we closed escrow, I wired-transfer the full amount to my US account and then wire transfered it to escrow.
Anyway, that’s irrelevant.
Regarding the child custody situation, it is true that I could have gotten pretty much anything I wanted. I wanted to make things simple and easy. 50/50 seemed to be the best thing to do in the interest of my daughter, her mom and myself. No child support, no guilt, bitterness or frustration from either parent etc…
The child custody arrangements were based on the condition that my ex continue attending AA meetings daily and submit to random urine testing twice a month for a period of 1 year. Obviously if she drinks or get intoxicated again and puts my daughter in a dangerous situation the way she already did, all current arrangements can be reverted.
Your assumption about the in-laws getting involved at the last minute is correct. It was a distraction to me. It was also a way to punish me for keeping the condo. They seemed upset that I live in a nice 3-bdr condo while their daughter has to start from scratch and rents a 1-bdr apartment. They probably believe it’s unfair but again, it was my ex decision to move out of the community property. She even left her dog behind!
My goal is to keep to the place and refinance. It is doable in my opinion. I do not want to go into foreclosure. I also want to be financially detached from my ex-in-laws. I really don’t want to have anything to do with them anymore but I can live with continuing to pay them for another 2 years.
