Yes, sorry, it should be shameful to have a child out of wedlock (but I’m just an old fashioned conservative CA attorney who is also a Christian, so what do I know? I’m also married, in my early 30s, and Caucasion. I know, terrible).
How many of society’s ills stem from children or unprepared young people having children themselves?
Let’s go through a short list: Kids that are home alone, kids not being educated b/c the parent is working, kids having their parent’s lovers come in and out of their lives who are strangers (preying on the children, too) giving them no stability, kids doing drugs or having sex because their parent is working, kids doing drugs or having sex because they need affirmation from someone b/c their father (typically) is gone.
Let’s not even talk about crime! In the inner cities, this is one of the greatest reasons why kids are killing each other with drugs and violence. I should know, I lived in Richmond, CA for 3 years–one of the most crime ridden cities in CA. I bet less than 20% of the kids had two-parent families. Probably less than 10%.
This really is the legacy of modern liberalism. No moral judgments and the sexual revolution sounded great, but what were the consequences? So far (and it will likely get worse, spreading to the traditional middle classes), millions of lost children and heartache!
Also, billions spent by the government in social programs to remedy all of these problems (stemming primarily from out-of-wedlock births), thinking that if we have more after-school programs it will get better.
It will not get better until society gets back to basics . . . a belief in traditional values, repentance, and a belief and relationship with God. Yes, that’s the secret. Harsh and antiquated, I know. Don’t worry, though, our society is too far gone for this type of prescription, I’m afraid.
Sure, I’ll pass on the complete disgust if you’re an educated, affluent single mother who has a kid, but how often have you seen that happen (unless your a movie star)?
In my experience with my friends, it has been a 16 year-old Latina who’s boyfriend sells meth, a girl who was never loved as a child and got pregnant trying to find what she never had, and a girl who got pregnant because kids were cute.
So, scorn, no. A little shame, yes.
Having a kid out of wedlock should be just as shameful at least as dropping out of high school, making a homophobic remark, or not recycling (sarcasm off).
