[quote=davelj]Like words, actions can also deceive. My friends who cheat also kiss their wives and can be quite attentive when it’s required.[/quote]
Yes they can. But it’s much harder to hide/lie w/ actions. One of the couple was happy until the husband died. The other are in their 90s and are still happy. I’m pretty when you’re in your 90s, there is very little reason for you to put up a false image. Your mind is probably a little gone at that point to be able to keep up a false image all the time. The other 2, well, I know them well enough and see them often enough that I can tell fake from real.

Actually, most countries have more liberal attitudes about husbands screwing around. So, there’s no need to keep up the farce of monogamy within marriage like we feel the need to do here in the US. See almost everywhere outside of North America and Muslim countries (where it’s all kept hidden for cultural reasons) for examples.

[quote=davelj]Because they tell me? When someone says to me, “I’d divorce her in a minute if I thought I could keep my house, money and kids… but I know that ain’t gonna happen,” I tend to take them at their word. But that’s just me.[/quote]
Once again, it sounds like your friends know/think that they’re more happy with their current situation than getting divorce, that’s why they didn’t do it. We can’t separate things in life apart and pick and choose what want. In their situation, the kids/money/house came with the wife. They chose kids/money/house AND wife over getting divorce. This brings us back to the topic of choice and happiness in a marriage.