If you are looking to relocate to the higher end areas in San Diego near the bottom of the market just know that these areas will be depreciating towards the end of the cycle so you have a few years to wait. Sounds a little bit like your search will be taking you to many of the same areas that Raptorduck has been looking.
My first suggestion, especially for the gated community would be Fairbanks Ranch. Unfortunately the homes are older but they are on pretty decent sized lot. I don’t know if it has that rural feeling you are looking for.
As far as the community center sort of thing you have mentioned… well I don’t mean to be harsh but that seems kind of idealistic. Kids today don’t hang out at community centers. They go to the malls, hit movie theatres, go to the beach in the summer. It also depends on what your kids are into ya now? I think there are many neighborhoods that will provide the sense of community that you are looking for.
One thing you didn’t really mention are things like older housing stock versus newer stock. What about things like Mello Roos/HOA. Do you want the newer developments like Santa Luz, Cielo, Crosby or are you thinking older classic homes like RSF and such? There are listings as well in Del Mar and Solana Beach (not many but a few) that also fit some of your bill but based on your comments about June gloom I am not sure they will work out.
