When your wife is speaking to you again, it might be nice to discuss the possibility of renting in your target neighborhood. That way, she could make some friends and start settling in your chosen community. While you would still be technically moving twice, it seems to me that moving down the block would be MUCH easier than completely starting over in a new neighborhood. Just an idea.
And I agree with everyone else. Don’t dwell on the one that got away. It sold for $50k more than you bid, but who’s to say that it wouldn’t have gone much higher if you had joined in the bidding war. I have no doubt you will find “the one” and I am looking forward to reading all about it!